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\title{Navero V-X}
\author{\copyright 1990 Daniel Parsons \\ Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA \\}
\date{}
\maketitle

{\it
{\Large N}avero (Of the Correct and Unalterable Way) appeared on
rec.games.frp during the 89-90 school year, endearing himself to
readers worldwide. Chapters five through ten of the famed saga
are reproduced here with the author's permission. \\}

\begin{center}
{\Large Navero V \\}
\end{center}


\ldots\ {\Large A}nd our heroes went riding off into the marshes, looking for the Orc
band.  It isn't easy to hide an entire band of Orcs, and this proved no
exception to that.  Their tracks were quite visible on the paths and runs,
and we followed them back to a large cavern in a limestone rock formation.
We did not enter immediately; instead, we sat, and watched, and argued some
more.  This we did happily for some time, until we were spotted by a patrol,
who were naturally not happy to see us. There were only 2 Orcs, and we
spotted them almost as soon as they saw us.

\begin{description}
\item[Orc 1:] ``Hu gudiier nouds?" (What's with you?)

\item[Orc 2:] ``Sliimsuka!  Jacxoffss wit." (Elves over there!  Humans too.)

\item[Navero:] ``Oh, ick!  What are those things over there?"

\item[Dania:] ``Orcs!  Get 'em!!"

\item[The Cavalier:] ``GLORY AND DEATH!  GLORY AND DEATH!"
\end{description}

Hack-Maim-Shred-Destroy-Slice-Chop-Crush-Smash-Murder-Irk-Annoy-Vex-Irritate-Inconvenience

\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:] You succeed in wounding an Orc.  The other runs away.

\item[Dania:] ``Stop him!  He'll tell all the others!"

\item[The Cavalier:] ``I ride off after the Orc and outdistance him.  I do not spear
	       him in the back, as that is unworthy of me.  I challenge him
	       to stand and fight like slime."

\item[Game Master:] How?  Your horse is dead, remember.

\item[The Cavalier:] ``I...."

\item[Rizudo:] ``I shoot him in the back with my crossbow."

\item[Game Master:] Did you have it ready?  I don't remember you saying so.

\item[Rizudo:] ``Of course it's ready!  I'm not stupid!" *Big, pleading grin*

\item[Game Master:] Ok.  Roll to hit.

\item[Rizudo:] Ah, I roll a 3.  Shit.

\item[Dania:] ``You're all incompetent.  I `magic missile' it."

\item[Game Master:] Ok. (rolls dice) It stumbles, but does not fall, and is rapidly
	     loosing itself in the trees.

\item[Rizudo:] ``Don't you have a 'Hold Person' spell, priest?"

\item[Navero:] ``But I don't speak Orcish..."

\item[The Assassin:] ``It's out of range for dart throwing, isn't it?"

\item[Game Master:] Uh, yes.  Anything else?  Oh, (rolls dice) you notice the
	     wounded Orc is trying to crawl off into the bushes.

\item[Navero:] ``I jump on it and stop it!"

\item[Game Master:] It trys to hit you. (rolls dice) It does. Take 5 hit points.

\item[Navero:] ``Ouch!"

\item[Rizudo:] ``I kill it.  I guess its up to me to clean up after yon Knight's
	 incompetence."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``I shall ignore that.  Consider yourself fortunate."

\item[Dania:] ``Did the other one get away?  Shit!  Pretty soon, they'll be all over
	the place.  We better get out of here."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``We cannot run from a bunch of Orcs!  You can, but I refuse."

\item[Navero:] ``And what about all the damage they would do if we don't stop them?"

\item[Dania:] ``Navero, come on.  We can't take all of them..."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``The devil you say!  I move we take them by surprise, right
	       now, while they are still trying to organize themselves."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Now listen, kids.  Our position here isn't exactly ideal.  Why
	 don't we go tell the guys in the keep that we saw the Orcs coming?
	 Then we'll get a bunch of men-at-arms to go with us to meet them."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``I refuse to rely on an unruly bunch of peasants swinging farm
	       implements."

\item[Navero:] ``Why stir up many men, when only one voice is equal to the task?"

\item[The Assassin:] ``It's getting dark.  They will soon be about.  We'd better go."

\item[Dania:] ``Yes.  C'mon, guys."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``You are taking all the horses?  Ah, I suppose a retreat to
	       consider strategy would be in order.  But we are not running."

\item[Dania:] ``Right."
\end{description}

	With our horses, we were easily able to outdistance the Orcs, and
reach the keep.  We saw them behind us in the marsh, and counted over 20 of
them.  They did not travel all the way to Swamp Keep, but threw javelins and
insults at us as we fled back to relative safety.  None hit.  Once we reached
the keep, we were accosted by the gate guards, who had heard the shouting,
and taken in to see some high official whose title I have forgotten.

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``YOU WHAT!?  You rode out to spy on the Orcs, and stirred them up?"

\item[Rizudo:] ``Yep, and they're coming this way.  And they stink, too.  We need
	 the militia, a few of your guards, so we can tidy them up a bit."

\item[Dania:] ``Yeah."

\item[Official:] *bugeyed stare* ``You...  They haven't been here raiding for nearly
	  a month... which means they won't be here for another month... and
	  you... people... went out and deliberately antagonized them!?"

\item[The Cavalier:] ``You should never bear evil so lightly."

\item[Official:] ``WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!"

\item[Navero:] ``Um... have we interfered with some other plans of yours?"

\item[Official:] (sudden, indignant look) ``Do you have any idea what this means?"

\item[The Cavalier:] ``Freedom and Glory."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shut up."

\item[The Cavalier:] ``I will not for the likes of you."

\item[Official:] ``Be quiet, all of you!  (to a servant) Boy, go fetch that warrior.
	   Now, perhaps we can salvage something out of this.  How would you
	   like to go back there and clean out those caverns right now?  We
	   have a man here, the survivor of the last group who tried it.  He
	   has been inside their cave, and may know enough to help you.  He
	   is supposedly a capable fighter and bowman.  I believe he comes
	   from the northern regions."
\end{description}

	With this, a very large figure stomped into the room.  You might say
that he did not believe in personal hygiene.  You might also say that he needed
no announcement.  He was well over 6 feet and had a huge sword over his
shoulder, and a long bow on his back.

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``Kortul, you had expressed a desire to have another try at the Orcs
	   once your wounds healed.  Well, I would like to ask you to serve
	   as a guide to this group, which has the same purpose in mind. Will
	   you do it."

\item[Kortul:] (Looks group over. Sneers.) *Grunt.*

\item[Official:] ``Very good.  Well, I wish you luck.  And if you fail, don't come
	   back.  After this, if they don't kill you, some here may wish to
	   do so themselves."
\end{description}

	And with that cheery thought, we spent the night and rose early to
go out and finish the job.  Although at some point, the Assassin disappeared
during the night.  Apparently, she had had quite enough of us all, and went
elsewhere to seek greener pastures.  (Actually, the player dropped out of
the group, as he had too much work to do.  But thats not as much fun.)

\begin{quote}
 ``I read about the `great unwashed'
 but I never expected to see one."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}


\begin{center}
{\Large Navero VI \\}
\end{center}

{\sf
NOTE:  I finally went out and found out what the name of that damn Cavalier
was.  Even the player had some trouble remembering: Rourk Ravensbane, a
seemingly un-elven sort of name, but he's Drow, which sort of explains it.\\

The Party Currently:\\

\begin{itemize}
\item{	Navero, 1st level human cleric} 
\item{	Dania, 1st level 1/2-wood elf MU}
\item{	Rourk Ravensbane, 1st level Drow Cavalier}
\item{	Rizudo, 1st level human fighter}
\item{	Kortul, 1st level human fighter}
\end{itemize}}

{\Large W}e went riding into the marshes, early in the morning; we expected to reach
the Orcs cavern by that afternoon.  Our trek through the marshes was largely
uneventful, except for a bunch of 6-armed squirrel-like monkeys who would
stare at us from the trees, and throw things.  Rizudo once tried to hit one,
but they were impossibly fast.  When we neared the cave, we left our horses
tethered about 100 yards up the path, and snuck up on foot; within, a number
of eyes seemed to peer out, but did not see us.

\begin{description}
\item[Rizudo:] ``Well, kids, what do we do with 'em?"

\item[Rourk:] ``We can take them now.  Pardon me while I prepare myself."

\item[Dania:] ``What did the caves look like, Kortul?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Dark, damp.  Didn't get far; hit deadfall near entrance, killed 3,
	 Orcs finished rest."

\item[Rourk:] ``And you ran."

\item[Kortul:] *Fumes* ``Quiet, munchkin."

\item[Navero:] ``Maybe if we can get them out of the cave into daylight..."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Yeah!  Good idea!  We smoke them out, then kill them as they come
	 running from the cave."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh..."

\item[Rourk:] ``A poor strategy.  The cave is probably ventilated."

\item[Dania:] ``Right.  They must have another entrance anyway."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh..."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Look, these are Orcs, remember?  Shit-for-brains?  How much of a
	 problem do you think they'll be to fake out?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Stupid." *Disgusted look at Rizudo*

\item[Navero:] ``Uh..."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Are you saying it won't work, o your mightiness?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Might.  Probably not."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Well then, lets go get a bunch of wood!"

\item[Dania:] ``Only dead wood, now."  (Remember, she is half-wood elf, and feels
	somewhat protective of trees.)

\item[Rourk:] ``Dead wood will not make enough smoke.  It must be big, green logs."

\item[Dania:] ``I'd rather you not chop down trees, dear.  Besides, you wouldn't
	want to dishonor your blades with mere wood."

\item[Rourk:] ``Kortul, I perceive, has a hand axe.  And we can use his blade if
	necessary.  One so large and unwieldy is of little use otherwise."

\item[Kortul:] Snarls.
\end{description}

	And so, we began uprooting saplings and chopping down small trees.
Dania ran about for a little bit, pleading or threatening or smacking us
with her staff, but the 3 warriors ignored her and soon assembled a pile of
green wood.  Navero, having no great feelings about trees, tried to comfort
Dania with the argument that it seemed necessary, but she ignored him.  By
now, it was late afternoon.  We gathered the wood into a large pile on a
hill before the cave mouth; we could feel eyes on us, but we were out of
range of any but powerful longbows, which we were sure the Orcs did not
possess.  We doused it with lantern oil, lit it, and let it get to burning
nice and smoky.  Then we sent it all rolling downhill into the cave.\\

	We got lucky; most of it went in, but not so far in that we couldn't
see it.  We sat on the hill; any Orc who appeared to put the fire out was
shot.  They eventually tried throwing water on from further back in the cave,
but this didn't seem to do much good.  The wood smoked merrily, but as
evening approached, no Orcs came fleeing out.  It wasn't working.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] (Much grumbling and swearing) ``Murderers."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Oh, be quiet.  You're getting on our nerves.  Why don't you go
	 play with yourself or something?  Put that staff to good use."

\item[Dania:] ``Go fuck yourself, asshole.  Whatcha gonna do now?  Throw in some
	squirrel-monkeys?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Perhaps if we offer them a magic-user."

\item[Navero:] ``No!  You can't do that!"

\item[Everyone:] Stare at Navero

\item[Navero:] ``I mean..."

\item[Dania:] ``The sun is setting, guys.  Got any bright ideas what to do?"
\end{description}

	No one did.  Instead, we sat on the hilltop and argued until our
conversation was rudely interrupted by the sound of wings flapping.  BIG
wings.  Big, leathery wings that seemed right overhead.  Suddenly, from over
the hill that the cave was in, a great shape appeared.  It looked like the
Wyvern, but it had four legs and was larger, and colored a great oily black.
The party scattered.  Everyone but Rourk ran to hide in the trees and bushes;
he whistled for his dead horse, which did not appear, and then took his 
stand in the middle of the clearing.  The Dragon (for thats what it was this
time, boys and girls) did not attack, but merely soared over the clearing,
horrible and proud, watching us from above.  Rourk was about to call it a
coward, when a javelin whizzed past his helmet, and he saw nearly 20 Orcs
were charging towards him.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Ah, they are finally coming out.  I shall go get my horse." (Runs)

\item[Dania:] ``Thats *my* horse!" (Runs after him)

\item[Navero:] ``Kortul, do you know the Orcish word for 'Stop'?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Hudsdg.  Let's get horses."
\end{description}

	Dania easily outdistanced the heavily armored Cavalier; she reached
her horse and rode off.  Navero was the second to reach the horses, and went
riding off after Dania, not wishing to see her get hurt.  The Cavalier took
Kortuls horse; Kortul remained on foot, and Rizudo hid in a tree. \\

	At this point, things became somewhat chaotic, with four separate
units of party running around, and so I will try to take things on an
individual basis.  

\begin{description}
\item[Rizudo:] Hid in the tree for most of the battle.  Only the fact that all the
other party members were making so much noise kept him from being found.
After it was over he claimed to have killed 6 Orcs.

\item[Kortul:] Picked off a few with his bow from the bushes, then crept about in
the darkness, using his two-handed sword to kill more.  I use the term
'crept' lightly; sneaking in banded mail is no mean feat, especially around
creatures with infravision.  He was on foot and alone, and so presented the
ideal target for the Orcs; nonetheless, he was able to move fast enough not
to be overborn, and dispatched 8 Orcs while taking no damage himself.
Eventually, they ran away and left him alone.  (I was playing both Kortul
and Navero.  I was rolling extremely well for Kortul, which may surprise
you when you see how Navero did.)

\item[Rourk:] Got onto Kortul's big horse with some difficulty, and charged down
the paths of the swamp, using his lance to great effect, until he found an
individual whom he considered to be the Chief.  This worthy he dismounted
and challenged to personal combat.  That worthy looked at him like he was
some sort of joke, and whistled at the sky.  Nothing happened for a moment,
and so Rourk charged to do battle.  ``GLORY AND DEATH! GLORY AND DEATH!"
Then, he heard wings again.  Realizing at once that here was a foe far more
worthy of him, he turned to face the beast, realizing that only his valor
could defeat it.  The Dragons attack was not fussy or frilly; it simply
landed on him, grinding him into the mud.  The Orc chief patted its nose and
told it it was a good boy, which Rourk found quite surprising.  

\item[Rourk:] ``The Orc Chief said WHAT?  And it didn't kill him?!  Must be a very
	young, stupid Dragon.  Are both my arms pinned?"

\item[Game Master:] No, one is free.

\item[Rourk:] ``I stab the Dragon and tell it to get off of me."
\end{description}

	Would you believe he got a critical hit?  And that his next stab was
also a critical?  He didn't kill it, though.  Bleeding, it flew away into the
swamp, blubbering and calling for it's mother.  The Orc Chief took one look
at this and ran off, leaving our hero flushed with pride, beaming to himself.
Damn, I'm good.\\

Dania and Navero:  Dania went riding into the woods, looking for a place
where she could be of some use.  Navero went riding off after her, to protect
her.  They crossed over a run with 3 Orcs in it; Dania rode down one, but
the others stayed up and took swings at Navero.  Navero did 'comand - stop'
on one, using the new word he had just learned, and the other fortunately
missed.  They rode into the trees, when suddenly another group of 3 Orcs
jumped up in front of them, frightening the horses and bringing them to a
halt.  Navero realized he would have to fight.  They were charging up with
swords in their hands and blood in their eyes, and he had to protect his
friend.\\

	Navero swung his mace at an Orc trying to grab his reins.  Critical
Fumble - he brained his horse.  ``oops" he thought as he landed face-first in
the mud.  Dania smacked one with her staff, but another stabbed her for 1
hit point.  Yelling, Navero charged through to her defense, determined to
carry the day despite adversity.  Critical Fumble - he brained her horse.
The Orcs started laughing.  Dania ran away, with Navero right behind her.
The Orcs started to chase them, so Dania turned and magic missiled one in
the face.  Navero hit a tree.  The remaining two somehow missed.  After
quite a few rounds of this, both orcs somehow lay dead.  I believe that
Navero actually hit his target once during the encounter, and did something
like one hit point of damage.  After it was done, they both stood for a
moment to collect themselves, Navero staring at the ground, and Dania
staring at Navero.  Then, she began to speak.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!  What the fuck do (censored) you think you were
	doing?!?!  You (censored) asshole, I ought break your (censored)
	stupid head off!  GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GODAMN LIFE!!!  I hate your
	ancestors, your teachers, everything, you (censored) (censored)
	sorry excuse (censored) little (censored) moronic...  LEAVE ME THE
	FUCK ALONE, I don't ever want to see you again in my entire godammed
	life, you (censored) (censored) (really censored)!  Just keep the
	fuck away from me! go somewhere else! leave, you (censored) moron!!
	TRY to (censored) describe your (censored), complete, and utter
	STUPIDITY!!  You incompetent!  You idiot!  You clumsy... IDIOT!
	Arghhh....!  I hate you!!  I hate the sight of you!  STAY THE
	(censored) FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN!!  DO YOU
	UNDERSTAND!?!?!?"
\end{description}

	Navero stood in numb silence.  Mud crept up around his shoes.  His
mace hung loosely from one hand.  Tears streaked down his face.

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``But....   but you're the only friend I have."
\end{description}

	She stared at him.  Her whole body was clenched like a fist, knuckles
white on her staff.  What could she say?  She stared and stared and stared.
She wanted to kill him.  He honestly deserved it.  He was...  He did...

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shit.  Come on Nav, lets go get the Orcs, OK?"
\end{description}

	She walked off into the forest, confused and angry and depressed all
at the same time, pointedly ignoring the dead horses.  Navero, utterly
confused but somehow kind of happy, followed after.\\

	And so, our heros routed the band of Orcs.  Those who survived,
including the chief, fled into the marshes, and were not seen again.  All
that was left now was the cave.

\begin{quote}
``I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to."\\
``It's ok.  Forget it.  I know you didn't.  It's ok."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\Large Navero VII \\}
\end{center}

{\Large A}nd so...

The party got itself reorganized, and wounds were bandaged, the Cavalier
healed, and the dead horses not mentioned.  Everyone proceeded on foot
into the big, spooky cave, looking for the Orcs treasure...\\

	The first thing we encountered was the need for a light.  Navero had
fortunately brought a lantern.  (Navero would soon develop the habit of
carrying everything he might conceivably need on a trip.)  We walked past
the still-smoking wood, to discover a large vent within the entrance hall
itself; our smoke was all going right out.  Further back in the cave was a
rusty iron gate; behind this gate we saw at least one Orc, watching us.  We
decided to throw a Molotov cocktail, to take it and any others that might be
there.  The DM rolled a save for the clay pot the oil was in; it didn't
break.  The Orc picked it up and threw it back at us.  It didn't break again.
We ripped out the burning rag and watched the Orc run away.\\

	Kortul the Mighty Barbarian Type (who has 18/98 strength) wrenched
open a gap in the bars, and shortly thereafter we discovered that it could
have been raised up quite easily.  Sigh.  We decided to proceed immediately,
but some dispute came up over the marching order.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``I shall go in first, naturally."

\item[Kortul:] ``Better I go.  Know caves better."

\item[Rourk:] ``I recall that YOU didn't get much beyond the entrance."

\item[Kortul:] ``You guard the rear, keep the priest and mage safe."

\item[Rourk:] ``I think not."

\item[Kortul:] ``Back there, munchkin.  Let men go first."

\item[Rourk:] ``You try my patience, barbarian.  If you wish to repulse them through
	sheer malodorousness, I must admit that you have an advantage over
	me.  But in the arts of combat I am the acknowledged superior, so
	remove your clumsy bulk from my path!"

\item[Dania:] ``Look, will someone just go in?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Shut up.  You may guard the rear.  Perhaps you can make up for your
	previous failure some other time, when it is less vital to the
	survival of others..."

\item[Rizudo:] ``Oh, hell." (Walks through gate.)
\end{description}

	Kortul went after Rizudo, who was now standing in some sort of great
hall.  It was mostly empty, apart from piles of straw and rags, sacks, and
a great deal of smoked meat near the south wall.  There were 3 other exits;
one to the North (we came from the west), one South, and a big one to the
East.  The one to the east was peculiar; the Orcs had built a huge fence or
barrier, with big spikes smeared with some gummy resin all through it.  It
was angled so as to keep something from beyond from getting in.  Something
big.  We decided to leave it aloe, and went to check out the south.  Again,
the argument over who goes first, solved by Navero wandering down the tunnel.

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``Hello?"

\item[Orcs:] ``GURTTIO!!  KILLGT FUIORSDT UNGOWAA GITCHE GUMEE!!"

\item[Navero:] ``Eeep!" (Runs)
\end{description}

	He came wandering back quite quickly, with about 20 Orcs on his
heels.  Fortunately, these were all women and child orcs, and so we were
victorious against them.  Kortul was hit in the face with a soup ladle, and
the Cavalier suffered badly gnawed-on ankles.

\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:] You slay all the women and children.  Truly, a heroic effort.
\end{description}

	Down south, there was nothing of interest.  No money, nothin'.  We
went up north.  After much searching, we hit a trap.  It was a big pit that
opened up beneath the lead party member (Rizudo again) dropping him 15' onto
a smooth floor.  He was injured, but noticed that there was something down
there: a level on one wall.  He decided to go over and pull the lever down.
A large section of the ceiling fell into the pit, neatly fitting into the 
hole, providing a smooth surface that the rest of the party could walk over,
except that at one end it was an inch or two higher.  So long, Rizudo.  We
mourned for the required seconds, and Navero gave him the last rites, or
tried to, and then went about our business.  In the northern caves, we found
a few trinkets, and about 500 gp in loose change.  Also a dwarven prisoner,
who was unconscious and remained so all the way back.\\

	Must run.  I fear that this is somewhat rushed.  Does anyone like
this so far?  I haven't heard anything about it.  Is everyone ignoring me?

\begin{quote}
``He was a... good man.  Sometimes.  Maybe."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\Large Navero VIII \\}
\end{center}

{\Large L}ast time, we explored the Orc caverns, Rizudo died in an idiot trap, (such
traps turned out to be very effective against our party), and we found a
dwarven prisoner and about 500gp in assorted loose change.  There were also
various weapons, armors, all in fair condition, but nothing we didn't already
have enough of.  Somewhat disappointed, we went back to the great hall, and
stared over the east barrier; beyond, we could see a little bit of a large
cavern, which seemed utterly devoid of life.  However, we were not about to
go over and start exploring; first, we would have to go back to Swamp Keep,
report that the Orcs were gone, and claim the rewards that we so richly
deserved.

\begin{description}
\item[Guard 1:] ``Aw, shit, its them again."

\item[Dania:] ``Will you PLEASE just open the goddamned gate for once?  You know
	who we are."

\item[Guard 2:] ``Look, yu.  Yu go' a might big fa' hed there, l'il lady.  Now, be
	  nice, an' maybe I'll le' ya in."

\item[Rourk:] ``We are not amused at your attempts at humor.  And our patience is
	wearing quite thin.  This ill-treatment of those who should be your
	honoured guests speaks volumes of this pitiful place.  I demand
	that you open the gates at once!"

\item[Guard 2:] ``Say please."

\item[Kortul:] Punches Guard 2.  Guard 2 drops unconscious.

\item[Guard 1:] ``Oh, good.  He's been especially crass this morning.  Roger!  Could
	  you open the gate for these lovely people, and put Mungo to bed?"

\item[Roger:] (From above) ``Is he out cold?"

\item[Guard 1:] (Checks guard 2) ``Yes, he is.  Lovely, isn't it?"

\item[Roger:] ``Quite."
\end{description}

	And so we entered the keep.  Naturally, the first thing did was get
ourselves healed to full strength (We use a spell-point based magic system,
and Navero had just enough spell points for everyone.) We then went to go
see the official we had spoken to the previous day, to report on our success
and see to our reward (A reward had been promised; I forgot to mention it.)

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``You succeeded?  Wonderful!  I really can't tell you how happy we
	   all are to hear that.  They came about every couple of months;
	   they used to stay away from the keep completely, but since all
	   the caravans started traveling on the North road, they have
	   given us their attentions.  The lord of the Keep will naturally
	   wish to see you."

\item[Rourk:] ``Think nothing of it.  It was childs play."

\item[Official:] ``Ah.  Well: did you bring the Chief's head with you?"

\item[Rourk:] ``The coward fled into the swamp, and so I was unable to obtain it
	for you.  Rest assured that if we meet again, the oversight shall
	be corrected."

\item[Official:] ``Did you bring any heads back?  Or hands, or ears...?"

\item[Navero:] ``That's... kind of barbaric, I mean, mutilation of the bodies?"

\item[Official:] ``...So you have no actual proof that you ever went near the Orcs?"
\end{description}

Dead silence.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] ``Stupid."

\item[Rourk:] ``You doubt my word?  Those who do learn not to."

\item[Kortul:] ``Real stupid."

\item[Official:] ``I, of course, believe every word you say.  However, the Lord of
	   the Keep is a hard man to please.  He will want to be certain.  I
	   must say, that under these circumstances, seeing his Lordship
	   would be out of the question.  And, of course, the status of your
	   reward money is placed somewhat in jeopardy..."

\item[Navero:] ``Well, there's the money we found in the *ow!*'' (Dania drives her
	 staff into Navero's foot.)

\item[Official:] ``What's this?"

\item[Dania:] ``My young friend here was just saying how short on cash we were.
	Would it please you if we were to go back and get battle tokens?"

\item[Rourk:] ``We may find a few more, if you absolutely insist upon this matter."

\item[Navero:] ``oww..."

\item[Official:] ``Yes, I think that would be the best thing for you to do.  A word,
	   children; 'foresight makes all matters go to your advantage.' Now
	   please go finish your task."
\end{description}

	We did spot one other Orc out in the marshes; it was not the Chief.
Kortul killed it with arrow shots.  We collected all the right ears we could
still find, even the females and children.  It was a very unpleasant task,
and accomplished hurriedly.  The total came to 32; not bad.  We arrived back
at the Keep that night.

\begin{description}
\item[Guard 1:] ``Oi, this lot.  Fuck it, le' 'em in."
\end{description}

As even officials need to sleep, we decided to be nice and not bother the
government people until morning.  Instead, Kortul, Rourk, and Dania went to
the only tavern, where they saw a few familiar faces.  The first was that of
the rescued Dwarf, whom they had dropped off at the inn; he had recovered
enough to go down to the common room, and wished to thank his rescuers.  His
name was Arlor. The second was a mercenary-looking type who rather resembled
the late and largely unlamented Rizudo; this worthy turned out to be his
twin brother Razuli, who wished to hear of his brothers death.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``So, Dwarf, you were captured by the Orcs while trying to steal from
	them.  Being naturally incompetent, you were unable to fight them
	off or escape."

\item[Arlor:] ``I, um, was jus' trying to earn a liven', yup."

\item[Dania:] ``God, that guy looks familiar.  Unpleasantly so."

\item[Razuli:] ``Hi there, kids!  Say, you look like those idiots who were hanging
	 around with my brother!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Oh, no...  Please leave us at once."

\item[Razuli:] ``Not 'till you tell me what happened.  Say, are you the little..."

\item[Dania:] ``Shove it, asshole."

\item[Razuli:] ``I see you are.  Well, kids; wanna have some fun?"
\end{description}

	The remainder of their evening is best left to the imagination.
Navero did not go to the tavern.  While he did not approve of the others
going to that place, he didn't know what to say without offending, and he
desperately didn't want to offend anyone.  Especially so soon after his
failure in trying to protect his friend Dania.  She had been so very angry,
and rightly so; he had done so very much harm.  They all must think so badly
of him.  It was very late at night.  Most everyone else was indoors, asleep
or otherwise, like good people should be.  Navero wandered through the
streets for a little while, but found nothing that required his aid, nothing
for him to help.  Once a patrol of night watchmen passed by, and eyed him
with obvious suspicion.  He went to the only temple in the town, which was
consecrated to some Defender goddess he did not recognize.  He apologized to
the goddess, as she was not of The Order and he had no right to be in her
place, found a prayer alcove, and curled up and went to sleep.

\begin{quote}
``Forgive me, Lords, for I have tried and failed.  Again."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\Large Navero IX \\}
\end{center}

{\sf
A short pause whilst I pontificate:\\

	Thank you to everyone who sent mail.  Thank you to everyone who sent
comments.  I must admit, the story has become rather less humorous than it
used to be, but that is completely intentional, I assure you.  In reality,
the humor did settle down once the Orc chase started in earnest --- somehow,
when we had something to actually do, the jokes died down a bit and things
took a more serious tone.  The funniest segments seemed to come between
adventures.\\

	One suggestion was a Dramatis Personae at the beginning of each
posting, as many people have trouble keeping the characters straight.  This
might be a good idea, especially as the party gets to be larger than five
people.  I believe the most we ever had in the party at one time is eight;
I would need a list to keep them all straight at that point.\\

	Also, some of you have told me how sad you were that Rizudo died in
the idiot trap.  He was not mourned long --- Razuli came in;
he was run by the same player, had the same stats, and the
same personality.  Basically, he decided to start Rizudo over, rather than
come up with a new character.  He is gone, yet he is with us. :-)\\

	And finally, to the individual who commented on Dania's ``lecture" to
Navero at the end of Navero VI:  A ``lecture"?  That was a full-bore rant if
I ever heard one.  The player was actually yelling at me for almost a minute
(how's that for role-playing) using most of her very impressive vocabulary.
If you consider that a ``lecture" I would hate to hear a ``reprimand."\\}


{\em AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...\\}

{\Large T}he following morning, we all assembled in the official's office.  There was
a great deal of yelling and screaming, but the end result was that we didn't
get to go see his Lordship, we didn't get public fame, and we got only half
the reward, as we had left the Chief and the Dragon alive.  Much grumbling
followed.  \\

	The DM then said that Navero, Danai, Rourk, and Kortul had gained
enough experience to go to second level, but we would have to go get the
requisite training.  The warriors had it easy - training facilities were
readily available for them.  The DM kindly ruled that, in this case, Navero
could go up by praying and talking with the local priests for about a month,
even though they were not of The Order.  Our DM generally doesn't like to
sweat these things, and neither do I.\\

	However, dear Dania would have to find someone to supervise her
studies in the arcane arts, and in a Keep this small, the chances of finding
a mage who would apprentice her, and put up with her adventuring, seemed to
be pretty dismal.  Her efforts did come to fruit, in time.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] (To Joe Townsperson) ``Excuse me, but is there a mage or wizard living
       around here, with whom I might speak?"

\item[Joe:] ``Well, there's the Wizards on High street..."

\item[Dania:] ``There are *several* of them?  In a town this size?"

\item[Joe:] ``Yep, they hang around together.  Don't know why you'd wanna talk to
      them, though."

\item[Dania:] ``I've got my reasons.  Thank you and good day, Sir."
\end{description}

(Walks to High street.  There, she sees that the houses are all very tall,
and seem to lean back, away from the street.  They are painted bright colors,
and have gardens with lots of colorful flowers.  Violets and purples seem to
be a general favorite here.  She went up to a random house and knocked.  A
tall figure with a long white beard opened the door; surprisingly, he was
not at all annoyed at the intrusion (as wizards often are), but seemed to
positively beam good tidings from his beetling little brows.  He was also,
by the way, dressed in a very loud purple robe, with lots of polka-dots.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Um...  Hello, master Wizard?  I am Dania Couliari; I have come
	seeking an apprenticeship."

\item[Wizard:] ``You have?  Splendid!!  I love apprentices!  Especially small cute
	 ones with pointy ears!  (Poof. Flowers appear in his hand.)  Have
	 some flowers!  Have some more! (Poof) Have whole bunches of them!
	 (Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof) Aren't flowers nice?  I like
	 this kind best.  Do you like flowers, young lady?"

\item[Dania:] ``Actually, I have hay fever.  Good day, sorry to have troubled you."

\item[Wizard:] ``No, no!  I can't have you going away like that!  You aren't happy!"

\item[Dania:] ``Excuse me?"

\item[Wizard:] ``We cannot have unhappy people in our midst... For we are THE PURPLE
	 POLKA-DOT WIZARDS!!!  We ALL want to make the whole world HAPPY!!"
\end{description}

(All of a sudden, doors and windows all up and down the street burst open,
and about 20 mages in loud, purple, polka-dotted clothing lean out.)

\begin{description}
\item[PPW's:] ``YES!! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!" (They all jump out and begin dancing.)

\item[Dania:] stares

\item[PPW 1:] ``We want everyone in the world to be just as happy as we are!"

\item[All PPW's:] ``YES!!" (Some are doing cartwheels)

\item[Dania:] STARES

\item[PPW 2:] ``We want the world to be a joyful place!  With bright colors and 
	flowers and singing and effervescence and glee!"

\item[All PPW's:] ``YES! ALL THAT!" (they make a giant pyramid, which falls, but
	    they don't mind.)

\item[Dania:] *STARES*

\item[PPW 1:] ``I love apprentices; don't you love apprentices?"

\item[PPW 2:] ``How dare you grab this one up so fast!  How dare you, sir!  Why, I'd
	horsewhip you if I had a horse!"

\item[Dania:] *STARES*  (Jaw drops, hits ground with audible thud.)

\item[PPW 3:] ``Actually, I'd much rather {\bf she} did that to me!"

\item[PPW 2:] ``Oh?  Whips and chains, dear Xinjanthropus?"

\item[PPW 3:] ``Chains, you say?  Your remark leaves me fit to be TIED!"

\item[PPW 2:] ``I am BOUND to strike you for that remark!"

\item[PPW 1:] ``Lets have no disCORD!"

\item[PPW 5:] ``Yes!  All this over a deLINKuent!"

\item[PPW 3:] ``But she looks like a FAST 'UN!"

\item[PPW 1:] ``You have a filthy mind!  At least, not a TIE-dy one!"

\item[PPW 4:] ``This LINE leaves me at the end of my rope!"

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, do you do this all the time, uh, great wizards?"
\end{description}

(All PPW's gaze upon her, with glee in their beady little eyes.)

\begin{description}
\item[PPW 5:] ``A STRAIGHT WOMAN!!  SHE'S MINE!!"

\item[PPW 2:] ``Restraint!  Julius saw her first!"

\item[PPW 1:] ``I'll fight you for her!  Do your worst!"

\item[PPW 5:] ``RIGHT!  Lets have at it then, Julie baby!!"
\end{description}

(They do ``rock, scissors, paper" in a furious huff.  Both get rock, then
both scissors, then both paper.)

\begin{description}
\item[PPW 1:] ``Alright then, two out of three!"

\item[PPW 3:] ``Wait a minute, she's leaving.  Come back!"

\item[PPW 1:] ``Don't leave!  Can't you see I'm trying to tell you I love you?
	Because you remind me of you!  Your eyes, your lips your hair...
	everything about you reminds me of you!  Except you.  How do you
	account for that?"

\item[Dania:] ``Sorry,gottago,kidsonthestove,bye!" (Flees)

\item[PPW 4:] ``Rats."

\item[PPW 5:] ``Do you think we sent her away unhappy?"

\item[PPW 1:] ``No, not at all.  Look!  She seems {\bf much} happier already."
\end{description}

	A few notes on the Purple Polka-dot Wizards: (This is 1st edition
AD\&D, of course) They cast Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter as a 1st
level spell, and Otto's Irresistible Dance as a 4th level spell.  They are
of Chaotic Good alignment.  When summoning familiars, if they get a special
familiar, it is not a Pseudo-dragon; they get a Faerie Dragon.\\

	Dania went to find Joe Townsperson again.

\begin{description}
\item[Joe:] ``Oh, hello."

\item[Dania:] ``You bastard.  You sick little (censored) bastard.  Why didn't you
	tell me they were all a bunch of lunatics?!?"

\item[Joe:] ``Well... you didn't ask."

\item[Dania:] ``Well, now I AM ASKING: are there any mages in this whole godamned
	place who AREN'T insane?"

\item[Joe:] ``Well, one..."

\item[Dania:] ``Where?  And is there anything I should know about him?"

\item[Joe:] ``Nobody much goes near his place, ma'am.  He only gets visitors late at
      night.  It's the big dark house on Kings road, can't miss it.  He 
      isn't a very good neighbor, ma'am, but I can say he aint any loopier
      than any other wizard, and less than some."

\item[Dania:] ``Good.  Good-day."
\end{description}

	Dania trekked up to Kings road.  The house was indeed unmistakable,
in it's glowering eldritch hugeness, suspended seemingly as an abomination
within a polite white-housed neighborhood.  Other dwellings shyed away from
it's improbable obesity, while it stood in solitude, lofty and arrogant,
shrouded it it's sheer weight of gloom and despair.  There were no visible
doors, although windows which seemed to gaze into your cringing soul were
scattered about in awful patterns that the mind refused to acknowledge.  A
neat house, but I wouldn't want to live there.\\

	Dania went looking for a door, but a disembodied voice stopped her.

\begin{description}
\item[Voice:] ``I am aware of your presence.  And your desires..."
\end{description}

(A door suddenly existed, where she was sure one had not been.)

\begin{description}
\item[Voice:] ``Enter freely, and of your own will."
\end{description}

	Dania entered.  Beyond, there was a hallway, thin but impossibly
high, whose walls were a uniform shade of grey, a disturbing grey; they
seemed to shift slightly, just at the edges of your vision, but never were
seen to move.  The hall was longer than it looked; it took a long time to
reach the end, although when she looked back, she saw it was indeed a long
way back, and no door was visible.  She reached the end of the hall, and
stepped into a small black room.  An unknown force moved her to another
place, seemingly beyond the very limits of space itself.  There, she saw
what was presumably the master of the house.  Nearly 7 feet tall, dressed in
a loose robe like a sundered piece of space, and with huge hands which
seemed to flow into more fingers than was acceptable.  His features were a
study in fascinating ugliness, riveting and commanding in their grotesquery.

\begin{description}
\item[Master:] ``An apprenticeship.  How amusing.  How presumptuous.  I haven't
	 dealt with an apprentice since....  Ah.  So your former master was
	 Galvolin."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, yes.  He kicked me out when my parents did."

\item[Master:] ``For sleeping with a Drow?  Very close-minded people.  You are well
	 rid of them.  I see some potential in you, though.  Interesting
	 flares and prominences.  Very well, apprentice."

\item[Dania:] ``Sure, thanks.  Glad to be here."

\item[Master:] ``Of course you are.  Your first task..."
\end{description}

(A wild gesture.  Space and time scream.  They appear in a room.)

\begin{description}
\item[Master:] ``Clean all this glassware.  And I want to be able to see my face
	 in it!  After that, set the dining room table.  I am expecting
	 an important guest.  Put 7 forks and 12 knives at his place."

\item[Dania:] ``There's enough glassware here to fill my old bedroom..."

\item[Master:] ``It seems that would be rather uncomfortable to sleep on.  But some
	 might find it very interesting...  To work.  Now!"

\item[Dania:] ``Yes!  Very good, o my master!  Chop, chop!  Oh, uh..."

\item[Master:] ``Of course.  I am perfectly aware of your other career.  Your next
	 assignment will involve it."

\item[Dania:] ``Ok.  No problems."

\item[Master:] ``For your studies, you may peruse the library on the first floor.
	 NONE of the others.  And, after you finish here."
\end{description}


Dania managed to complete the requisite studies, and was able to rejoin us
periodically for a drink.  In fact, although that one library was a mages
dream, she took every possible opportunity to get out of the house.  If
she seemed any more morbid than usual, no one noticed.  The training period
passed uneventfully, leaving us rested and ready to continue in our
explorations of the Orc caverns.

\begin{quote}
``Your hands look scaly.  Is that from lots of washing?"\\
``Lord, I hope so."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\Large Navero X \\}
\end{center}

The continuing sto-o-o-ry...

\begin{itemize}

\item{	Navero, male human cleric   (``oops...")}
\item{	Dania, female 1/2-wood elf MU   (``You (racial slur) idiot!")}
\item{	Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier (``You insult me, knave.")}
\item{	Kortul, male human fighter (various grumbles)}
\item{	Razuli, male human fighter (``Well, kids, whatcha gonna do now?")}
\item{	Arlor, male dwarf thief (``Uh... yep. Yep. I do. Really.")}

\end{itemize}

{\Large T}raining went relatively well.  Dania didn`t turn into anything more hideous
than usual, and the rest of the month passed rapidly.  Rested and fit, we
decided to trek back to the cavern and see what it was beyond that big
barrier that made the slovenly Orcs put it up.  Razuli accompanyed the group,
despite the assurances of the others that his presence was not necessary,
and Arlor also came along.  Arlor was not treated very well, I am sad to
admit; the humans regarded him with indifference at best, and both elves very
obviously disliked him. (The player was very quiet, and unused to our
playing style, which involves lots of squabbling, as you may have noticed.)

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``And another thing: you are to address me as ``Sir'' at all times,
	unless conditions demand the more appropriate title."

\item[Arlor:] ``You mean, uh, 'madam'?"

\item[Rourk:] (Draws sword.) ``If you insult me again, I shall feed you your liver."

\item[Arlor:] ``Sorry, sorry.  Um."

\item[Navero:] ``I kind of don't think that was very nice, uh, Rourk."

\item[Rourk:] ``YOU try being NICE to this hairy little...  But you are correct.  I
	am loosing my temper over a nothing.  I do apologize for disturbing
	your composure, priest."

\item[Arlor:] ``Thanks.  Thanks lots."

\item[Dania:] ``Just be quiet, will you?"

\item[Razuli:] ``What are you two getting so upset about, anyway?  It's OK, Arlor,
	 they really don't mean it."

\item[Arlor:] ``I think they do, yup."

\item[Razuli:] ``No!  They just feel that way about anyone shorter than they are.
	 You see, Dania thinks you're gonna look up her robe, and Sir Snot
	 over there was once bested by a rabid chihuahua, and it left him
	 traumatized.  We all love you.  Really."

\item[Rourk:] ``Mercenary, my temper is short enough as it is..."

\item[Razuli:] ``And that's not the only thing."

\item[Rourk:] ``You are unworthy of notice.  Begone from my sight."

\item[Navero:] ``I wish you didn't not like him so much.  It's kind of sad."

\item[Razuli:] ``Kid, I've spent enough time here to know that those two are both
	 idiots.  They are pretty sad.  Ignore 'em, and do what you need to."

\item[Kortul:] ``Dragon to the left."
\end{description}

	There was indeed a Dragon there, in the misty distance.  We couldn't
tell if it was the same one, and frankly didn't want to find out.  At least,
most of us didn't; Rourk had to be told that by the time he reached it, it
would have flown away again.

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``I wish they wouldn't be so unkind.  Especially Dania; she is a very
	 nice person, I don't know why she's behaving like this."

\item[Razuli:] ``Dania?  NICE?  Kid, you're deluding yourself.  She is better built
	 than most elves... but that isn't what you mean, now, is it?"

\item[Navero:] ``Huh?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Never mind. (sigh) Where the hell did someone like you come from,
	 anyway?"

\item[Navero:] ``From the Chapel of St. Glajmir of the Glow, under Master Luminant.
	 And it's not good to use that name.  It might attract diabolical
	 attentions, the likes of which thy soul would quake to behold."

\item[Razuli:] ``Right. (chuckles)"

\item[Navero:] ``And you shouldn't say such degrading things about others as you
	 do.  `Others will treat you as you see them.' And you shouldn't
	 drink of liquorous spirits.  Or fraternize with the evil or the
	 undisciplined..."

\item[Razuli:] ``Nav?"

\item[Navero:] ``And...  uh, yes?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Shut up.  And do your job.  Ok?"

\item[Navero:] ``But I must follow my faith."

\item[Razuli:] ``Fine.  Do that.  But you've been pretty fucking useless so far, you
	 know, and shouldn't be giving no sermons."

\item[Navero:] ``But...  I'm sorry.  But..."

\item[Razuli:] ``Fine.  Now shut up."
\end{description}

	We reached the cavern in due course, and went inside to the great
hall.  As far as we could tell, the foodstuffs had been taken, but nothing
else disturbed.  The barrier was intact, although the gummy resin on the
stakes seemed to have degraded, and flaked off in places.  The barrier was
made of large logs and branches, sharpened in places, and bound together
mostly with rope.  Something the size of a human could scramble over it
without much danger, but something much larger probably wouldn't make it.
The cavern beyond was quite large; there were a few interesting rock
formations, most of them broken off at the base, but the cave seemed empty
and dead.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Priest!  I request of you a blessing before going in to battle the
	creature."

\item[Kortul:] ``Find creature first.  Don't waste time sitting around now."

\item[Dania:] ``Yes, as long as we're in here, we should keep moving."

\item[Rourk:] ``You may explore ahead if you must.  I shall be prepared."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, kneel, and take off your helmet."

\item[Rourk:] ``I have vowed not to face others until I have proven myself worthy
	of it."

\item[Navero:] ``Oh.  Well, uh...  O Lords of the Correct and Unalterable Way...
	 The true shining path of servitude and right... Please do look down
	 on this, thy... humble servant, and give me the right and the power
	 to instigate thy will.  (Takes Rourk's head between his hands) Look
	 down upon me, thy chosen instrument, and let your will flow through
	 me into this, our... protector, that he may have the courage... and
	 skill... to do thy holy works.

\item[Rourk:] "Very good.`` (Tries to rise, but Navero continues.)

\item[Navero:] ``Yea, though thy flesh-and-blood servants be weak, O Lords, I do ask
	 that you forgive us all, each and every one... for our failures, be
	 they of mercy... or of will.  Please, O Lords, let our petty
	 differences be settled between us, and may we unite to vanquish
	 those who would move against your will."

\item[Rourk:] ``Amen!" (Again tries to rise, but Navero continues.)

\item[Navero:] ``If one of us do drag the whole down, O Lords, inspire that one with
	 thine own strength, that he may better serve the needs of all!  Let
	 that one smite down that which divides us!  Let petty hatreds and
	 pointless greed be ended!'' (Shakes Rourk's helmet.  Rourk's head
	 rattles around inside.)

\item[Rourk:] ``Uh, priest..."

\item[Navero:] ``Please, O Lords!  Forgive us all!  We are weak and stupid and humble
	 before your eyes!  Let us also cast aside old hates, which our own
	 STUPIDITY drives on!  Yea verily, the scars of a thousand years can
	 be healed with an act of kindness, if kindness can possibly enter
	 the tiny minds of those who hold the hate!"
\end{description}

(Everyone is staring at Navero.  Rourk starts to feel uncomfortable.)

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``Let the fear of the FIRES and PAIN of your punishments sit with us
	 ALL!  Yea, illuminate us, and show us our follies!  Though we be
	 but as mortals, BLIND and STUPID, let it be within your infinite
	 kindness to give us your wisdom, THAT WE MAY SEE OURSELVES!!  And
	 let this discord CEASE!"

\item[Dania:] ``Navero?"

\item[Navero:] ``And look DOWN and...   Yes?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Is your robe too tight or something?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Perhaps it is." (Quickly jerks away and stands up.) ``A good blessing.
	Truly, a great blessing.  I thank you, priest."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh... yes.  Uh..."  (Everyone continues to stare.)

\item[Arlor:] ``Um..."

\item[Navero:] ``uh..."

\item[Kortul:] ``Hope yelling didn't attract monster."

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, brother.  That's all we need.  A loudspeaker for a priest."

\item[Kortul:] ``Thought all priests loud-speakers.  How they became priests."

\item[Rourk:] ``Indeed.  This one can certainly make a helmet echo."

\item[Razuli:] ``Of course!  It's easy with such a big hollow space."

\item[Rourk:] (Fume...) ``You are beneath contempt."

\item[Dania:] ``Come on, Rourk, you walked into that one.  Lets go now."

\item[Rourk:] ``I did not.  I insist upon that fact."

\item[Arlor:] (giggles)

\item[Rourk:] ``WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?"

\item[Arlor:] ``Nothin'."
\end{description}

Our brave heroes climbed over the barrier, and down to the cavern below.
There they were met by... absolutely nothing.  No hungry Dragons, maniacally
screaming slime monsters from the planet Sh'rue'y*ed, not even so much as a
rabid Kobold.  It was a huge, irregular cavern, about 60 feet across, with 
entrances in the north and the east sides.  Our footsteps echoed, but there
was no other sound.

\begin{quote}
``Nice place. Wouldn't want to build a house here, though."
{\em ---Dan Parsons}
\end{quote}

\end{document}


