  AN EFFECTIVE MODEM WEAPON, ESPECIALLY
  ON CROSSBAR PHONE SYSTEMS. (WILL STILL
  OPERATE ON ESS BUT YOU WILL KILL PHONE
 SERVICE TO YOUR PREFIX FOR A FEW HOURS,
  AND EVERYONE TALKING WILL BE CUT OFF ON
  YOUR PREFIX AND THE ONE YOU CALLED)
  WHAT IS THIS DEVICE? IT'S A TESLA COIL.
  
  THE TESLA COIL WHEN PROPERLY USED WILL
 GENERATE LITRALLY THOUSANDS OR VOLTS AT
 VERY LOW AMPERAGE. (JUST THE RIGHT
 CURRENT TO BAKE SILICON CHIP COOKIES.)
  
  
 ---> SET UP
  
 1. DISCONNECT ALL PHONES FROM YOUR
    LINE. DISCONNECT ANSWERING DEVICES
    AND ANY DATA-TRANSMISSION DEVICES.
  
 2. RUN A PRELIMINARY TEST ON THE
    COIL AND DISCONNECT NEARBY GROUNDED
    OB!ECTS.  (LAMPS STEREOS, TV'S
    ETC...)
  
 3. CONNECT ONE PHONE THAT YOU SEE
    FIT TO SUBJECT. (IT USUALLY DOES NOT
    DESTROY PHONES, BUT I HAVE SEEN THEM
    MELT OFF WALLS.)
  
 4. CONNECT IRON OR STEEL BALLS TO
    THE GREEN AND RED WIRES OF YOUR
    CONNNECTED PHONE (THESE ARE THE LINE
    WIRES THAT GO INTO THE WALL.) L1  AND
    L2 TERMINALS OF YOUR PHONE.
  
 5. PUT ON A PAIR OF THICK RUBBER
    GLOVES (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!)
  
 6. CHARGE COIL TO AT LEAST 10,000
    VOLTS.AN IDEAL SETTING IS AROUND 18
    TO 19 THOUSAND, BUT 10 WILL JUMP
    BELLS LINE SURGE PROTECTORS.
  
 7. HOLD METAL BALLS IN YOUR LEFT
    HAND.  (MAKE SURE THEY DO TOUCH
    EACH OTHER) WHEN THE COIL IS FULLY
    CHARGED, CLIP THE STEEL BALL
    CONNECTED TO THE RED WIRE TO THE
    BASE OF THE TESLA COIL AND HOLD THE
    OTHER METAL BALL AS FAR AWAY FROM
    THE COIL AS YOU CAN.
  
 8. DIAL THE OFFENDING MODEMS NUMBER.
  
 9. WHEN CONNECTED, MOVE THE METAL
    OBJECT CONNECTED TO THE GREEN WIRE
    WITHIN 2 FEET OF THE COILS TOP.
  
 -> DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE LITTLE BOLTS
    OF ELECTRICITY SHOOTING FROM THE
    TOP OF THE COIL...
  
 10.WITHIN 3 SECONDS A BOLT OF
    LIGHTNING WILL SHOOT FORTH AT THE
    PHONE FROM THE HAND YOU ARE HOLDING
    THE BALLS IN.  [MISSING PART WHEN
    RECEIVED] THE GREEN CONNECTED METAL
    BALL. (HOLD ON TIGHT CAUSE IT'LL
    FEEL LIKE LOADS OF ANTS!) YOU WILL
    IMMEDIATLY HEAR MANY STRANGE
    OCCILATIONS TO THE CARRIER ON THE
    PHONE. THE LAST NOISE YOU WILL HEAR
    IS A POP! FROM THE PHONE. (THAT IS
    THE LAST CRY OF AGONY AS IT SHUTS
    DOWN.)
  
    CROSSBAR JUST DISCONNECTS.
  
  
 