Construction Project:  ATOM BOMB
 
1.  INTRODUCTION.===============   Worldwide controversy has been
generated recently from several court decisions in the United
States which have restricted popular magazines from printing
articles which describe how to make an ATOMIC BOMB. The reason
usually given by the courts is that National Security would be
compromised if such information were generally available. But,
since it is commonly known that all of the information is publicly
available in most major Metropolitian Libraries, obviously the
court's officially stated position is covering up a more important
factor; namely, that such atomic devices would prove too difficult
for the average citizen to construct. The United States cannot
insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do not have
the intelligence of a cabbage, and thus the "official" press
releases claim National Security as a blanket restriction. The
rumours that have unfortunately occured as a result of widespread
misinformation can (and must) be  cleared up now, for the
construction project this month is the construction of a
thermonuclear device. Which will hopefully clear up any mis -
conceptions you might have had about such a project. We will see
how easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten easy 
steps, to have and to hold as you see fit, without annoying
interference from the government of courts.
   
     The project will cost between 5,000 and 30,000 depending
on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since last weeks
project, "Let's make a time machine", was received so well in the
new step-by-step format, this weeks column will follow in the same
format.
 
2.  CONSTRUCTION METHOD.========================
 
1) First, obtain about 50 pounds (110Kg) of weapons grade
Plutonium at your local supplier (see note 1). A Nuclear Power
Plant is not reccomended, as large quantities of missing Plutonium
tends to make the Plant Engineers unhappy. We suggest that you
contact your local Terrorist Organisation or perhaps the Scouts in
your neighbourhood.
 
2) Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined
Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and
warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your
childern or pets to play on it, or eat it. Any left over Plutonium
dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may want to keep the
substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk
yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.
 
3) Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most 
common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this
enclosure as, for example, a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Ford
Cortina. Do not however use Tin-foil.
 
4) Arrange the Plutonium into two hemi-spheralical shapes,
seperated by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium
dust together. Gelignite is much better but messier to work with.
Your helpful hardware man will be happy to provide you with this
item.
 
5) Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in
step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed
in play-do or any modeling clay. Coloured clay is acceptable, but
there is no need to get fancy at this point.
 
6) Enclose the structure from step 5 into the enclosure made in 
step 3. Use a strong glue such as "super glue" to bind the hemi -
sphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental
detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.
 
7) To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled servo
mechanism, as found in model planes and cars. With a minimum of
effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike a detonator
cap to effect a small explosion. These detonator caps can be found
in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket. We 
recommend the "Blast-O-Matic" brand since they are no deposit-no
return.
 
8) Now hide the completed device from the neighbours and children.
The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the
extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear devices
have been known to spontaneously detonate in these unstable
conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will be
perfectly suitable.
 
9) Now you are the proud owner of a working Thermonuclear device!!
It's a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch could be used
for national defence.
 
3. THEORY OF OPERATION =================== The device basically
works when the detonated TNT compresses the Plutonium into a
critical mass. The critical mass then produces a nuclear chain 
reaction similar to the domino chain reaction. The chain reaction
then promptly produces a big thermonuclear reaction, and there you
have it, a 10 megaton explosion!!
 
4. NEXT MONTHS COLUMN.======================   In next months
column, we will learn how to clone your neighbour's wife in six
easy steps. This project promises to be an exciting weekend full 
of fun and profit. Common kitchen utensils will be all you need.
See you next month!!
 
5. NOTES.=========1) Plutonium (PU), Atomic number 94, is a
radioactive metallic element formed by the decay of Neptunium and
is similar in chemical structure to Uranium, Saturium, Jupernium,
and Marsium.
 
6. PREVIOUS MONTHS COLUMNS.===========================
 
Let's make test-tube babies!            May 1989
Let's make a solar system               June 1989
Let's make an economic recession!       July 1989
# Let's make an anti-gravity machine!     August 1989 #
Let's make contact with an alien race!  Banned# No longer in print.
 
Transferred to 80 columns by Astro Zombie
 
 