  HairNet Productions
Why Life Is Shit... by Jane.

     Why is life shit? Good question. You may have found yourself asking your-
self this many times. I figured out why. Why is life shit? Many reasons. 
Life's shitness could be listed but that would be too easy and would take too
long. Life is shit because when you fail a class you try really hard to pass
and ignore other classes which mean you fail a whole bunch of classes instead
of just one. Life is shit because Nazi skinheads in my German class want to
kick my ass, and I just shaved my head so now they're really going to want to
kick my ass which really sucks cuz they have really big friends and the girls
are bigger than they guys. Life is shit because I'm not getting the new Para-
mount network so I don't get to see Star Trek: Yovager which would be really
cool.
      There are lots of reasons why life is shit and you probably have your 
own. Unfortunately I could give two left nuts about you and your small life
and I only give a shit about myself, my girlfriend, and bands that I like, so
I'll continue on with life which is just as pitiful as yours but I choose to 
ignore it and pretend that I am bad as shit, which I am in my own little mind.
Life is further shit because I don't get fX or the Comedy Channel so I miss
a lot of really cool shows and am generally deprived. I get the Sci-Fi channel
but I take it for granted like I do everything else because I suck. Life is
also shit becasue my parents got me a CD player and now expect me to buy no-
thing but CDs which really blows cuz I hate CDs and love vinyl. Vinyl is cool-
er and cheaper. Furthermore tapes are better than CDs cuz they're portable.
Life is also shit because my ex-girlfriend (earlier reffered to as my main
squeeze) hates me and I love her which really sucks and is straight out of
a frigging Morrissey song. Futhermore I shaved my head and now girls find me
ugly so I can't get a new one unless I'm open to dating those really crusty
girls who listen to the really crusty music I listen to and attend Ulcer and
Failure Face shows.

Anyway... why is your life shit?



