I posted this on my UFO conference once and well, it wasn't that funny
but a few people laughed so I degrade my wit once more.


CHECK YOUR HAMSTER cage... it could contain a space alien.

That is the astonishing warning going out to the nation's homes after an
incredible security blunder.  The tiny invaders from space have ended up in pet
shops and been sold as hamsters.

The furry and highly intelligent creatures were captured after their space
craft crashed near a Coast Guard station off the coast of Maine three years
ago. 
 
They were taken to a top secret center in Maryland while scientists tried to
find out more about them. But animal' rights activists raided the center last
month and took them away in a truck after packing them in pet store crates.

Then, in an astonishing twist of fate, the activists' truck was stopped by
police who took the crates away believing they had been taken from a chain of
pet stores. A police official has told the FBI: "We then made a real snafu and
returned them to what we thought were the owners. By the time we realized our
error, it was to late and the pet wholesaler had  distributed the 'hamsters'
all over the U.S."

A top level government official admitted  the blunder to the SUN and says:
"They may look cute and cuddly, but they are fierce warriors." Officials warn
that more than 3.000 of the hamster like aliens were freed.

The FBI, Secret Service, U.S. Marshals and ATF agents are sweeping the nations
pet stores in hopes of capturing the four inch high aliens and returning them
to the detention compound.  The unnamed spokesman says that almost 1,800 have
been rounded up so far, but about 1,200 are still on the loose.

"Most of these are probably held in cages by unwary children," he says. 
"They're almost in  distinguishable from real hamsters, except for pointed ears
and dazzling green eyes. and a small triangular brand with a star inside their
left ears.

"They also tend to walk on their rear legs more than real hamsters, and use
their front paws like hands.  "The aliens are very intelligent and dexterous
and use tools very effectively. They can turn a sewing needle or a razor blade
into a deadly weapon."  The aliens also appear to chatter more than real
hamsters, especially among themselves.

"They are actually speaking to each other," says the spokesman. "Some also
attempt to converse with humans but we have not yet been able to completely
understand their language.  "They are not friends. Their purpose is to conquer
Earth but it appears they had no idea how big humans are and they feel overawed
by our size." 

The 20 foot craft was detained with relative ease by the Coast Guard because
the crash had disabled its weaponry and most of the aliens had been knocked
unconscious.

Their warlike nature was exposed when several of them exited the ship firing
"ray guns" at the Coast Guardsmen. The attack was quickly neutralized by two
blasts from a pump action shotgun.

Security forces disarmed the aliens still in the ship and took them in cages to
the center in Maryland.  The inside government source added:  "From what we
have learned we believe they came as scouts for an invasion force circling
Jupiter. So far we've managed to convince the main force commander that we'll
be too tough a nut for them to crack, but we have no idea just how large that
force is and what sort of weapons they have. We must capture all the aliens
right away.

"We don't want any of them to find a way to communicate with the main armada
near Jupiter.  The aliens' weapons are impressive. They have greater range than
anything we possess but they are only geared to knock out small creatures and
only succeed in giving humans slight burns.

A group of animal rights activists released the aliens -  believing they were
real hamsters and that the government was using them in some bizarre experiment
- by breaking into the compound and hauling the cages off on trucks. Their plan
was to take them into the Smokey Mountains and release them, but police foiled
their scheme."   

One pet shop owner in the suburbs of Los Angeles confessed he had been visited
by police looking for "stolen hamsters."  Ronald McAury said: "They sure were
mysterious about it. I could not make out why they had protective clothing and
were armed to the teeth.

They looked at my hamsters and went away without taking anything." 

Is your hamster an alien? Contact us on the SUN's Alien Hotline number (407)
997-7733.

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 Yes, by all means check your hamsters! It could save your life! :-)
