
Nuts & Bolts & Orcs
by Elric

     The other day I was talking to my shrink and he told me that I was
living in a fantasy world with delusions of imaginary mental powers. 
     "That's the craziest thing I have ever heard!", I Shouted.
     "You are nuts.", He shouted back. His cute secretary winch came in
and asked if everything was alright. I cast a charm person spell but she
made her saving through and resisted. The shrink, whom was a second level
illusionist showed me some cards with ink blots on them. He asked me what
they looked like.
     
     #1: A giant torg eating a dwarf.
     #2: A fireball exploding in a bugbears belly
     #3: Two winged red-dragons being slain by Elric, Vocus Sadri
     #4: A mage casting an icestorm spell
     #5: Nuts & Bolts & an Orc.

     "I give up!" He shouted. 
     "Ok Peck! prepare for a flogging you fiend"
     I pulled out my plastic spoon +3. I hit him on the skull doing 12
points of damage and he went unconscious. The winch came in and started
screaming. I attempted to cast another charm person spell but failed. 
     "damn!"  I grabbed her butt and gained 120 experience.
     I walked out and cast a hold person spell on the Mage in the
hall. He just sat there and slobbered on himself. It worked. Good. I need to
rest and get my spells restored. At that moment a White Knight charges me
with a stun gun +2 and cloak of entanglement. I charged and hit him for
1d8 +3 damage to the head. He staggered and lost his turn. I began to cast
a fireball spell. It backfired and hit the peasant down the hall killing him. 
I gained 24 experience points. The White knight, whom was out of his
armor, charged. I flee'd and found a secret door. I pushed it open and
found
a broom and a plunger+2.

     "Oh well it will have to do." I said. I hid and waited to ambush the
Knight. I recognized the insignia upon his breast. He was a Knight of the
Berrymore Correction facitilty. A very powerful ring of knights. But unlike
the Knights of the Los Angeles who wear some sort of mystical armor that
my weapons cannot penetrate. I hope never to meet them again. The knight
passed by.
     "Aha!" I exclaimed. 
     He was startled and I had the first strike. I swung with the 
plunger+2 and missed. He charged and attacked with his magical stun-gun. 
     I took 2d10 damage and failed my saving throw against electric
missles. I awoke in a white room with a small portal I had a cloak of
entanglement on. 
I couldn't cast a spell with my arms bound. Oh well, I advanced a level
when I killed that bum and I'll gain a fireball spell. 
Ant to believe they think I'm crazy. They'll see.
    
F.R.E.:   86
F.G.L.:   3
G.F.I.:   5

