Are you a GIF Freak?
by Vince Lortho

Answer this questionnaire and determine if you are a GIF freak. If you are
viewing an X-rated GIF now then go to the end with a perfect score of 100.
Note: The use of GIF is symbolic of all images, Dead or Alive.

1. (10 Points) Do you have a special Hidden Directory for your GIF's?
     A. Yes, I have a directory for each Letter in the alphabet. (10 Pts)
     B. Yea, I have a hidden directory, Don't tell my mom! (7Pts)
     C. I have a few GIFs but they are on floppy's.    (5pts)
     D. What's a directory? (0 pts- 0 IQ: go home and pet the dog.)

2. (15 points) When you D/L GIF's do you constantly run out of time?
     A. No way. I payed 2000$ for an ISDN 65000 Blaster Modem and
        An agreement with the sysop for constant 12 hour D/L. (15pts)
     B. Nah, I bought a Cd-rom and have it on constant slide mode (10pts)
     C. Yea, I type *.* at the D/l prompt and it hung up. (8 pts)
     D. What's A GIF. I like it with Bread and tarts! (Get the gun)

3. (15 points) How many Megs of storage do you have for your GIF's?
     A. I have a Tandy Color Computer. What's a MEG? (0 pts)
     B. I have all my unlabeled floppies full and some of my HD full.(8pts)
     C. I bought another HD for them. I luv dem pretty girles.(10 pts)
     D. Hell, I bought a Bernoulli 1 Gig optical drive and
        a Crey computer system with a direct power line to a nuclear         
        reactor. (15pts)

4. (20 points) What type of GIF's do you d/l?
     A. I like GIF! It tastes good! (see Question 2 answer d)
     B. Only one with the word Must See! in it. (10pts)
     C. I d/l a complete series. 00000001.GIF - 99999999.GIF. (15pts)
     D. *.* (20 pts)

5. (20 pts) Do you have a life?
     A. Yes, I'm a successful Business man with a Jaguar XLT (1pt)
     B. Nah, I had a girlfriend once but I found out she was a               
        Barbee with no head. (10pts)
     C. I stopped breathing in 1973 (15pts)
     D. My name is PeeWee. (20pts)

6.   (Bonus!) Check as many of these that apply! (5pts each)
     1. I call LD to get those GIF's. I love them things.
     2. I went into debt paying for adult access on the BBS's
     3. I have GIF's and print them on my dot-matrix printer
        and mail them as Christmas cards to my GIF support group.
     4. I bought a bigger monitor so I could see it all at once.
     5. I have every GIF ever made.
     6. I like to take pictures of my Butt.(10 pts)


Summary of scores. 

0:  The minimum score is 0. If you don't have any then your exempt.

1-30:     You are slightly disturbed. There may be hope yet. Delete them                                                
          all and go confess. You're not a pervert but a lonely person that
          needs to get out more often. You have your Dads playboys under
          your mattress.

31-50:    You may be a pervert. There may be a history of GIF's in your                                                           
          family. You have special times when you view them and even                                                         have
          a secret drive for them. You also have adult access on the
          local Bible board. 

51-115:   You are beyond help. Keep on D/l'ing. Nothing can stop you.
          You probably have a CD-ROM and sit real close to the monitor
          and pretend your in there. Your Idea of a good time is a night                                                          
          with the New "Big Booties" CD-rom.

Remember Choosey Perverts Chose GIF!
            
F.R.E.:   82
F.K.G.L.: 4
G.F.I.:   6
