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                          Subject: Puberty Laws                             
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 The following is a post written in 1989 when I was then known as Tok' and/ 
 or Tokyo, on FireSide BBS.  Well, I ran into another FS'er not too long ago
 and she asked if I had sent my son to Puberty Camp...I decided to share    
 that philosophy here with you.                                             
                         Subject: Puberty Laws                              
 "Well, as you know, I have opted to send my son to Puberty Camp. He is not 
 wild about the idea, mostly because the girls are so much younger. However 
 I am convinced it is the best thing a parent can do for their children.  I 
 mean, face it, left at home all that happens is a 7 year war! Firstly I am 
 sure the Surgeon General's come out with the medical fact that hormones    
 cause stupidity. (Yes, that explains all those baaaaad lines one hears in  
 bars!) It seems that while hormones are in a position of ruling one's body,
 they totally supercede the mind. A substance called 'amoroline' is secreted
 through the pancreatic glands and deposited into the blood stream where it 
 is carried through to the brain. Now the brain being the logical thing that
 it is, it sees the amoroline coming, & hides...FAST.  During puberty, this 
 amoroline is secreted in amounts equivelant to the amount of saccharin one 
 would have to ingest daily in order to get cancerous results. Scarey isn't 
 it! This has a direct effect on the vocal chords, which is why pubescent   
 boys sound like you crossed a cheetah & Bowser (from Sha na na).           

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                          Subject: Puberty Laws                             
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 Now the brain has an automatic reaction to the amoroline, and remains      
 hidden until the hormones decrease.  This is why teens are reknowned for   
 doing things such as pretending standing up will be "preventive            
 protection".... or counting days.                                          
                                                                            
 Already at 9 years old, I see my son starting to exhibit signs of          
 stupidity. I swear, he was smarter last year! Now he has his clothes       
 labeled by girl's names, so that he can choose which to wear for whom. He  
 went to the library & checked out some of those Gawdawful teenage romance  
 books, and has started to giggle. (Even **I** did not GIGGLE!!!) It has    
 occurred to me that he is begining the on-slaught of the Puberty years.    
 What to do, what to do! I considered carefully the option of my running    
 away from home - but realized that even a Tok needs a place to rest.  I    
 considered the giant sized Steel Sak approach, but hell, they won't even   
 let you put paint cans in those anymore!  Finally with only 2 choices      
 left, I sat my son down & explained that I would have no part of that      
 "girl-chasing, squeaky voiced, stuff" and that he would be going to        
 Puberty camp.  There was a little whining and such, but after I explained  
 that it meant he got to spend the next 7 years without my b*tching at or   
 beating him, he got this funny little smile...."                           


