Copyright (c) 1997

                              SAY WHAT?
                       An Assistant Editorial
                           by Michael Hahn

     Ebonics, the made-up name for a dialect referred to as "Black
English", has been in the news a lot lately.  An Oakland, California
school district wants to treat it as a second language; I want to throw
up.
     I grew up in what the linguists called a "Lazy Tongue district". 
People from my part of the state of Illinois tend to drop the ends off
words; we're always doin' and comin' and goin' and havin' and wishin'
and wantin'.  We elect folks to go to Warshington, warsh our cars and
our clothes, and we mow the yard, not cut the grass.  A Pepsi from a
machine is a can of pop, not a soda.
     I went off to college, where my major in Theatre Arts meant I had
to learn how to speak properly.  Note:  "learn how to speak properly".
The language I spoke was English, but I had an accent.
     Ebonics is not a language.  "Black English" is an accent and an
idiom, not a language.  "I be" is bad English, not a second language. 
I'm with the senator who declared this week that ebonics is political
correctness out of control.
     To acknowledge an accent and a collection of slang phrases is
ridiculous.  Where do we draw the line?  What about hickics (hick
phonics)?  Or bronxics (Bronx phonics)?  Bostonics (Boston phonics)? 
     My brother and his mechanic associates all tend to punctuate their
sentences with profanity.  Carlin's seven words lose their impact when
you use them for commas.  I've listened to these guys, and I have the
feeling that, at least for some of them, they're no longer aware of the
four-letter words.  Is this another language?
     Nope, I think ebonics is just another excuse to complicate the
already daunting task teachers face--and another excuse to clutter up
the evening news.

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