                             
                HOW TO GET YOURSELF ON A PIRATE BOARD!
                      (Local boards/Melbourne)
                     
                                &
                                
                         THe CHeaT SHeeT
                        (VeRSioN 94.10.13)            
                                                                           
             Okay, this version is meant for the PUBLIC DOMAIN  
        SHAREWARE people. Possibly, YOU at the moment.
                                       


        On PIRATE boards they have something called 'New User 
        Voting' or 'NUP' for short. This system is where you 
        fill out an application, stating your name. And what 
        boards your on. And certain things you might not know.
        The aim of this is to teach you...
       
             +---------------------------------------+
                                          
                 GETTING YOURSELF ON A PIRATE BOARD



        A)  This may not seem like a good idea, but ALWAYS, 
        without excption, give YOU REAL DETAILS! This is 
        ABSOLUTELY important. Because all boards will have you 
        voice verified! You may pass through all the other 
        tests, but this is point is crucial. 
        And also, THERE IS NO RISK! The sysops destroy the info
        after you have been verified. So go ahead, put in your
        real shit.     
            Also don't be afraid to put in your real age. If you
        really are 14, say 14! There isn't any age restrictions, coz
        there aren't any gifs! And who ever heard of a 14 year 
        old Cop?

        B)  If you think something is cool. Don't say 'cool' 
        instead say 'Kewl Mon!' or 'That's Ace!'
         
        C)  Make your smiley face more elaborate and silly.
        *=|8 - )      or    @%%| B + {    remeber to make them
        long and kewl. Put in spaces, the better it looks the
        more like a pirate, you seem. And once you have a good 
        one, use it over and over again. As so to personalise 
        it.

        D)  ALWAYS ACT TUFF! That's the key! Act like you are 
        very kewl. GIVE SHIT TO EVERYONE!!! In messages, say 
        things like:
        'You are all a bunch of LAMER IDIOTS if I don't get 
        voted in!'  
           Another thing is to give shit to the sysop
        call him a 'Faggot without a Life'; this will really 
        impress him. Because it'll convince him that your
        kewl enough to be in the Pirate scene. And also will
        convince him you aren't a fed (cops/police). Because
        the feds usually suckup real bad, to the point to where 
        it's VERY suspicious. 

        E)  And threaten them. This scares the shit outta 
        everyone. Say that if you aren't let on, you'll call the
        cops! This works 9/10 times. And, when you do eventually get 
        on the board, everyone will be scared of you. Take 
        advantage of this initial awe, and give them all lots 
        of shit, thru messages. But NEVER act out on it.
    
        F)  TrY tO aLwAYs tO WrITE lIkE tHiS! It'S rEaLLY tHE
        UlTiMAtE iN KeWLNeSS! ThE OnLy rEASoN I'M nOt dOiNG iT 
        hErE iS CoZ iT'S tO mUCh oF a BOtHer. BuT iF yOu MaKe tHe 
        eFFoRt ThEY wiLl seE iT aNd KnOw hOw ACE yOu rEaLly ArE!!!!!

        G)  2400 ppl aren't welcome. 9600 is still not good 
        enough but some boards will accept it. 14400 is the key
        so if you don't have one, go and steal it.

        H)  Never ever chat (i mean through the modem) to the sysop.
        But if you have to; type slowly, and call him a wanker. 
        Then hang up just as his in the middle of a sentence. 

        I)  If you don't know how to do something, like get the
        file descriptions up. DON'T HESITATE to leave a message!
        
        J)  For references, put in, the boards your on. And for 
        people say you know: CYBERNAZI, VIDIOT, ANSIMAN, 
        GIRLYBOY. These are very influential people in the local
        pirate scene.  
                
        K)  And last, but still Extremely important. Your alias
        either continue using your Shareware boards one, or make
        another one up. But a long alias is cool. Make it like
        
        The Dutch Flyer  or  Super Ansi Ace
                      
        Two to three words should be enough.        


    Okay that's it for this section. I'll probably release another 
    version as soon as I can think of anything else.

       

       But if you follow everything here, before long you'll 
       be one of the kewless dudes in the Pi Scene!

                                   
                        Signed: Anon. '94



            +---------------------------------------------+

        Yeah 
        okay with this little list it'll get you on all those 
        Pirate boards that you probably dream of. Keep this in 
        handy. And refer to it when you come to the bit that 
        asks you what certain acronyms mean.
 
        Quote DIRECTLY, because one mistake and your deleted! 

                    
                                     Ajax the Trojan  
                                                    
                                         

AAA     Alcholics and Ankle 
ACB     Actual Camera Beep
AFB     After Fucking Ben
AAFH    ASCII ARtist from Poofter Bars
ACE     Arcade Cooper Energy  
        Acme Couriering Enterprises
ACiD    A Cute Idiot's Dick         
AD      Anothony's Dick
AFC     Aged Fran Cutie
AFL     At Fall's Lake
ALF     ALL LAME FUCKS                
AMD     Advanced Micro Designs
ANX     Anoxia
AoD     Acedemy of Deception
ASB     Astrofence Bunch
AVG     Avengers
AVLHL   aLWaYs VeRY LuBRiCaTeD HaPPY LeMMiNGs
AWA     A Wog's Arse
AWoL    Army WithOut Legs       

BAD     BBS'ers Against Daniel 
        Ben's A Dog                 
BDC     Brother Daniel's cock
BGR     Broken Grate Reach                
BOW     Best of the Worst
BPi     Blacklisting People inc.
BVN     BANNED ViSiON

CBX     CybRiX
CCi     Cyber Crime International
CEN     Centaur
CF      Cyber Force
CGI     Console Gaming Informers
CHS     Cash Hand Sounds
CIA     Can I All                     
CLF     Cyberpunk Liberation Front
CoD     Cantalope's On Disk     
COOL    CROATiAN ORGANiZATiON OF LEECHERS
CoMA    Community of Moral Advancement
COR     Coping with Rape
CoRE    Criminals of Radical Extremes
CP$     CoMPuTeR PiRATeS $yNDiCATe
CrAC    Crazed Artists Coalition
CRaM    CiTiCeNS ReVoLTiNG aGaNST MoTZaH
CRUE    Cheat Requests for Underground Elite
CUD     Computer Underground Digest
CuM     Cunt Uno Members              

DeAD    Dame Excellent Ansi Design
DiE     Dish In Eden                      
DJP     DefJam Productions
dlc     DREADLoC
DM      Digital Masters
D0D     Domnic's Old Disk
DOM     Dominators
DRD     Dread
DS      Dragon Society
DST     DiSToRTioN
DUA     Digital Underground Association

ECR     Energy Creatied by Running
EPiC    Effigy Pins in Court                    
ESW     Every Strange Wares
ETA     Express Traders Alliance
ETE     Eternity
EVIL    Exotic Visions In Liquid
EWR     Elite Warez Review

FBC     Fag-Bashing Crew
FC      Future Crew
FDN     The Foundation
FiRM    First in Releasing Most
FLT     FairLight 
        FAiRLiGHT 
FRL     Freelancers Guild
FS      FiRE SkULL
FTH     Famous Titties Homosexual
FTP     Floppy Big Tedd's Penis.
FUAP    Fucked-Up Average People
FUD     Fucked-Up Dudes

GNX     Gen-X
GOD     Global OutDial
GoDs    GUILD oF DISTRIBUTORs
GPA     Gainseville Pirates Association
GRiP    Graphic Revolution in Progress
GRiP/AD GRiP (see GRiP) / Ansi Division

HASH    Humans Against Society and Homework
HATE    Highly Anesthetically Tit Energisers
HBD     Hybrid
HCH     HardCore Hackers
HEAT    Hackers Enterprising Across Telecommunications
HEMP    Hardcore Elite Mother Phuckers
HR      High Rezolution
HSGMT   High-Speed Global Mass Trading

iBP     iGH BaH Poo
iCE     i Can't EAR                    
iDG     iNDiG0
IIRG    International Information Retreival Guild
ILL     ILLuminatus
iLs     IllUsIoN
iMG     iMAGE ANSi ARTiSTS
IMP     Imperial
INC     International Network of Crackers
IND     I not Dumb!  
iNT     iNTEGRiTY
ISA     International Software Alliance
iSD     iNSANE SOFTWARE DESiGNERS
iTU     Infinity Traders Unlimited
IUD     INC (See INC) Utility Division
IVP     Instant Video Production (by YAM)

JB      Japan Boys

KiSS    KRaZY iMaGe SCaNNiNG SiCKoZ
KORT    Knights Of the Round Table

LANCE 2 Lancelot ][
LLL     Local Lamers Limited
LGD     Legend
LIFE    Loyalty In Full Effect
LoD     Legless on Dish
LOH     Legs of Howard         
LSD     Lush Software Designs 
        Lethal Software Distributors
LTD     Lame Time Dime    
LwV     Lamers with Vision

MAD     Massive Anarchistic Destruction
        Malicious Art Denomination
        Mutual Assured Destruction
MAG     Makings of Artistic Geniuses
MFT     Manifest
MiC     Master Image Creators
MNG     MUSiC N' GRAPHiX
MPI     Micro Pirates Incorporated
MRN     MaRooN
MVF     MAD (see MAD) Virus Factory

NCA     National Courier Alliance
NEUA    National Elite Underground Alliance
NLA     No Lamerz Allowed
NoT     Nation of Thieves
NTA     Nokturnal Trading Alliance
NUAA    NaTioNaL UnDeRGRouND aPPLiCaTioN aLLiaNCe
NX      Nissan NX coupe
NYC     New York Crackers

OASiS   Outstanding Ansi Specialists InStitution
ODA     Over-Dosed Anarchists
OLR     On-Line Revenge
OTL     Outlaws
OX      OUTLAWS eXchange

PaL     Penny's all Lego
PAM     Pathetic ANSI Makers
PCi     Power Crisis International
PDRC    PRiMAL Demented Review Crue
PDX     PARADOX
PE      Public Enemy
PHaT    Phunky Hardcore ANSi Team
PHELA   PHreakers ELite Association
PHT     PHanTasm
PHX     PHoeniX
PiC     Pencil international Camera
PIL     PHUCK I'm Lame!      
PiMP    PHUCKIN iNSANE MUSIC PRODUCERS
POTMAN  Pirates Of The Mid-Atlantic
PoW     Programmers of War
PPL     Poofter Phun Lame!
PRi     PRiMAL
PSD     PsychoSquad
PSI     Pirates Sick of Initials
PSY     Psychosis
PTG     Peter's Titty Gash
PTL     Pirates That Lame
PUR     Pursuit
PWA     Pigeons With Ashtrays 

QC      Quality Cartel

RAID    Redundant Array of Inexpensive Disks
RAM     Really Awful Music
RDC     Radiance
REM     RADiCAL ELiTE MOVEMENT
REN     Renaissance
REV     Revolt
RiOT    Revolution in Our Time
RiSC    RiSE iN SUPERiOR COURiERiNG
RLT     Reality
RMK     Retarded ME, kewl!!!
RoT     Rebels of Telecommunications
RPM     Relentless Pursuit of Magnificence
RR      Rescue Raider
RZR     RaZoR 1911

SAD     Slick ANSI Designers
SCAM    Society of Criminals, Anarchists, and Misfits
SCL     SCANDAL!
SCD     Software Chronicles Digest
SCX     Scoopex
SE      SynTeX ERRoR
SKN     Skillion
SiN     Software Innovation Network
SLA     Software Liberation Army
SMUT    SYNDROME'S MEGA UTiLiTY TEAM
SNC     SoNiC
SOUP    Sea Otter Underground Productions
SPI     Software Pirates Incorporated
SR      Skid Raw
SSN     Sysop Support Network
SUN     Sight Unseen
SWaT    Special Warez Acquisition Team
$ynd    The $yndicate

TB      Thrust Brothers
TCB     TeCHn[+]BrAiN$
TCOLB   The Crackers Of Lame Boards
TCS     The Crime Syndicate
TDA     THe DaRK ALLiaNCe
TDD     The Dirty Dozen
TDK     The Destiny Knights
TDM     The Drowning Man
TDN     The Documentation Network
TDS     The Devil's Spawn
TDT     The Dream Team
TERR    TeRRaTRoN
TGT     THE GUiLD OF THiEVES
THG     The Humble Guys
THP     The Hill People
TiC     THe iNNeR CiRCLe
TL      Top Listings
TMM     The Mental Midgets
TNKB    TuRbO NuTTer KiWi BAStARdS
TNO     The New Order 
TOAO    The One And Only
TPO     The PRiMAL Order
TRA     The Rebel Alliance
TRC     The ReVieW CreW
TRM     The Rim Merchants
TRSi    Tristar Red Sector Incorporated
TSAN    The Sysops Association Network
TSB     The Silicon Bovine
TSS     Tape Swappers Syndicate
TUN     The Underground Network  
TxC     ToXiC
TWA     The Warez Alliance
TWaT    TeXT WRiTeRZ aND TRaDeRZ
TZU     TeRRoR ZoNe UNdeRGRouND

UBiC    United Boards in Control
UC      Unless Coping       
UCF     United Cracking Force
UCR     UC (see UC) - Random (console division)
UFT     United File Traderz
        UNiTY Federation Team
UL      Universal Labs
UNI     UNiTY
UC-ID   UC (see UC) - InterNet Division 
UKT     United Kiwi's Trader
UNT     UNTouchables
USA     United Software Association
USCA    UnItEd SeRbIaN CoUrIeR AsSoCiA.
USSR    Underground Software Systems Revolt
UTG     United Traders of Germany
uXu     Underground Experts United

VCi     Vulcan Cultural International
VD      Vital Dox
VS      Virtual Shock
VSW     VeRy StRaNgE WaReZ

WAC     WiLD ANSi CREATORS
WBL     W BALLS
WC      WildCards

YAM     Youngsters Against MacAfee

Well, that's it for this release.  Let us know if we skipped (Big or small, we 
want 'em all), mispelled, or miscapitalized a group.
                             


       +-----------------------------------------------------+    


        Written and compiled by Anon.   
        
                        22th October 1994     

