Date sent:        Sat, 27 Apr 1996 22:39:08 +0000


DIVORCE: A Shattered Dream 
Proliferated by a Societal Myth
Thomas G. Ferguson
Saginaw Valley State University

 The function of a divorce, also called a dissolution of marriage, is to end the marriage
 and decide issues of child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support or alimony,
 property and debt division, and the question of lawyer's fees and costs. At the completion
 of the divorce, a judgment is entered by the court determining the various issues of the
 marriage and returning the parties to the caste of single persons. The divorce judgment can
 ensue from trial (i.e., litigation) or consensus of the parties. Most cases are resolved by
 agreement of the parties. An agreement is likely to be less disturbing and far less costly
 than a trial. The above paragraph tries to describe what a divorce is, but it fails to
 grasp the entire concept. The above description is sterile, and possibly that is exactly
 what societal forces would like people to believe. The truth is that a divorce is a
 traumatic time for everyone involved. Those involved may just be the couple getting the
 divorce or involvement could include children, extended family, friends and a myriad of
 other relationships. This paper will attempt to analyze the causes and effects of divorce
 and what can be done about this growing epidemic. Currently a battle over divorce is raging
 in Ireland. This is a war over principles and ideals.There are those in Ireland that
 believe that marriage is sacred and for a lifetime. Divorce, in the past, has been illegal
 in Ireland. Recently the laws have changed in Ireland and it is now lawful to file for and
 be granted a divorce. Ireland may be on their way to filling court rooms with those filing
 for divorce and all the ramifications that go with it: alimony, child support, custody of
 children and division of property. The government of Ireland has followed in the footsteps
 of the United States in placing the burden of divorce on not only the couple and those
 around them but also the court system. At one time in the United States the legal system
 used a fault-based divorce law. For a divorce to be granted fault had to be shown on the
 part of one or the other spouse. Over time social reforms have changed this method in the
 court system. "Perhaps the most profound social reform has been the switch from fault-based
 divorce law to no-fault divorce law." (Nakonezny et al. 1995) There are many ways that
 societal norms can be conveyed within a society. One of those ways is through its legal
 system. In this case the legal system has made it easier for divorces to be granted
 allowing them to see into the current mores. "With the reduction of legal obstacles and the
 economic costs of divorce facilitated by no-fault divorce law, there has occurred an
 increase in divorce among high-income families who can now expect more equitable
 settlements of property and spousal support." (Nakonezny). The legal system is only one
 factor that can point to an increase in divorce and its acceptance in society. there are
 many other facets to this problem. "Despite the fact that marital divorce rates have
 decreased throughout the 1980's and into the 1990's, couples marrying for the first time
 continue to face a 50% chance of divorce during their lifetime" (Stanley et al 1995). Due
 to this fact an effort needs to be made to prevent marital distress and divorce. All too
 often the emphasis is placed on correcting the problems of divorce rather than focusing on
 the problems with marriage. Attention is given to child custody and support or visitation
 rights. At this point it is all too often beyond the point where a relationship can be
 saved. The focus needs to be on strengthening marriages before they get to the level where
 divorce is considered. The first issue that has to be addressed when it comes to prevention
 is the "ideal marriage". Many in today society where raised watching television shows such
 as Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best. These shows showed a perfect marriage. In most
 cases this "perfect marriage" is a myth. Marital problems can not be solved in thirty
 minutes. This also becomes a crucial factor when society is always on the fast track. With
 minute meals, fast food and faxes people are looking for instant gratification. If there is
 any strife in a marriage and there isn't a quick and easy solution, individuals use divorce
 as the solution. These individuals need to understand that a marriage is something that you
 have to work act and requires equal effort from both partners. Another issue that can be
 examined is intervention programs. One such program is PREP: The prevention and
 Relationship Enhancement Program. "PREP was designed t teach partners skills and ground
 rules for handling and promoting intimacy." (Stanley). this program is based on the fact
 that research has shown that it is crucial that ways to handle differences and negative
 affective constructively are learned. "To this end, the program employs techniques and
 strategies consistent with behavioral marital therapy and marital communication programs"
 (Stanley).
