
                            Interoffice Memo
                                         
            SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

         In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
           from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
          trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
        (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
                                    else.

         If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
        please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
          the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
                    that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

              Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
                               DEPARTMENTAL
         EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail
                                     to
         take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
          TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
         they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
                           all full of S.H.I.T. already.

           If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
        others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE
                                    LIST
          (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get
            the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF
                    INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

           If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
           TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

                                 Thank you,

                               BOSS IN GENERAL
                       SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
                               (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)