
Mental Pause
by Shirley Smith

I'm getting vain in my old age.  They say you're only as old as you
feel.  Well, I feel like I'm still 19, so why can't I look like it?
OK, you techno-wizards out there, invent a mirror that will do that
and you can rule the world. (Are you listening, Industrial Smoke and 
Mirrors?)

Say, for instance, that you have a computerized mirror with a dial so
you have the option of looking any way you want.  Hey, it works for
Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead (uh oh, I just dated myself).  Some possible
selections could be: Hair -- anything but gray; Eyes -- non-
spectacled; Chin -- one, please;  dress size -- 9...OK, OK, make it a
size 14.  Just shut off those damned alarms.  I hate a machine with
no sense of humor.

Anyway, if anyone ever comes up with such a mirror, I'll trade you my
personal recipe for an oat bran wrinkle cream and flea repellent for
one.  I'll be at the Tuesday Weld Home for the Bewildered.  Knock
loudly.                                                         {RAH}
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Shirley Smith is a mainframe systems programmer who has the extreme
misfortune of working with the editor of this rag.  She lives in the
wilderness of Northern Maryland with one husband and one dog.

