
A Sysop's Phone Bill

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 ! * ! Central Bell              CURRENT BILLING:  October 1993
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  BASIC SERVICE..............................................123.35
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  ACCESS TO INTERSTATE LONG DISTANCE .........................22.95
  ACCESS TO INTRASTATE LONG DISTANCE .........................20.95
  ACCESS TO ANY PHONE MORE THAN 3 BLOCKS AWAY ................19.28
  ACCESS TO YOUR DIAL TONE ...................................13.66
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              !
  DO YOU OWN  !   NO:  MONTHLY EQUIPMENT RENTAL ..............36.25
  YOUR PHONE? ! x YES: COMPENSATION FOR INCOME LOST
              !        TO PEOPLE OWNING THEIR PHONE ..........36.25
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  TELEPHONE BOOK SURCHARGE @ .002 PER NAME IN THE BOOK .......21.37
  LISTING YOUR OWN NAME IN THE PHONE BOOK .....................5.20
  LISTING YOUR OWN NAME IN THE PHONE BOOK CORRECTLY ..........10.40
  PHONE CORD FEE @ $1/FOOT ...................................14.00
  FEE FOR THE DIGITS ON THE TELEPHONE 
      ($1 FOR #1, $2 FOR #2, ETC) ............................45.00
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  DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE @ $9/EA PLUS 
     $7/EA FOR DISTURBING THE OPERATORS ......................32.00
  SURCHARGE FOR THE RINGING OF YOUR 
     PHONE ON EACH CALL @ 20c/RING ...........................23.60
  SURCHARGE TO DEFRAY COSTS OF APPLYING 
     TO THE PUC FOR NEW RATE HIKES ...........................14.88
  OOPS! ALMOST FORGOT/CHARGES FOR 
     THE PHONE CALLS THEMSELVES .............................242.96

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                                   TOTAL CHARGES DUE ........653.13
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             THANK YOU FOR DOING BUSINESS WITH US...
               BUT THEN WHAT CHOICE DO YOU HAVE?               {RAH}

