HUM:Next Sunday - No Excuse

   A number of changes will soon take place in our church to accomidate
all of those who think that they have valid reasons for staying away.
Please note the following purposed list:

   A cot will be placed in the vestibule for those who say "Sunday is
my only day to sleep in".

   Murine will be available for those with tired eyes from watching
T.V. too late on Saturday evening.

   Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too
cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.

   We will have steel helmets for those who say "The roof would fall in
if I come to church".

   We will have hearing aids for those who think the pastor speaks too
softly and cotton for those who think he preaches too loudly.

   Excedrin for those who have headaches which are always worse on
Sunday morning.

   Some relatives for those who like to go visiting.

   100 T.V. dinners for those who can't go to church and cook dinner
too.

   A selection of trees and grass for those who like to see God in
nature.

   A large tank of water surrounded by sand for those who like the sun
and surf.

   Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never
seen the sanctuary without them.

   Please let us know which of the above changes meet with your
approvial since salvation alone is apparently not sufficient.
