HUM:If movie ratings were applied to sermons...

   A Pastor in Pocatello, Idaho, has suggested that a code be worked
out for grading sermons, similar to that used to classify motion
pictures.
"This would be a great help when one is deciding whether or not he
should get out of bed on Sunday Morning," noted the Rev. Wilbur Rees,
pastor of the First Baptist Church.  His proposed code follows:

G - Generally acceptable to everyone.  Full of inoffensive, puerile
    platitudes such as 'Go ye into all the world and smile' and 'What
    this world needs is peace and motherhood.' This sermon is usually
    described as 'wonderful' or 'marvelous.'

M - For more mature congregations.  As this sermon even makes the
    Gospel relevant to today's issues, in subtle ways of course.  It
    may even contain mild suggestions for change.  This sermon is
    often described as 'challenging' or 'thought provoking' even
    though no one intends to take any action or change any attitudes.

R-l3 -  This sermon may have new ideas that are incomprehensible to
    the adult mind.  (The adult mind is like concrete - all mixed up
    and set).  Don't let the kids hear it.  They may come home asking
    questions like, "If Jesus said that, how come we don't do it?"

R - Definitely restricted to those who are not upset by truth.  This
    sermon 'tells it like it is.' It is very threatening to the
    comfortable.  It is most often described as 'disturbing' or
    'controversial' and usually indicates that the preacher has an
    outside source of income.

X - Positively limited to those who can handle explosive ideas.  This
    sermon really 'socks it to 'em!' It is the kind of sermon that
    landed Jeremiah in the well, got Amos run out of town, and set
    things up for the stoning of Stephen.  The minister who preaches
    this sermon had better have his suitcase packed.

         TRIVIAL PURSUIT IN THE PEW

   A new book, "101 Things To Do During a Dull Sermon," has been
written by Tim Sims and Dan Pegoda.  Here are a few tips from their
survival manual for pewsitters.  

(l) Sharpen the golf pencils in the pew holders; 
(2) Pass a note to the organist asking whether she plays requests; 
(3) Start from the back of the sanctuary and try to crawl all the way 
    to the the front, under the pews, without being noticed;
(4) Try to guess what the ushers are doing in the narthex; 
(5) Find the oldest church bulletin in your Pew Bible.  This will tell 
    you how long it's been since anyone used the Bible to follow along 
    with the reading of the Scripture Lesson; 
(6) Try to remember last week's sermon title; 
(7) Guess the weight of of each member of the choir.
    Compare your results with the person next to you.
