HUM:Obituary

   Mrs. Prayer Meeting died recently at the First Neglected Church, on
Worldly Avenue, Midtown, Wisconsin. born many years ago in the midst of
revival, she was a strong, healthy child, fed largely on testimony and
Bible study, soon growing into world-wide prominence, and was one of
the most influential members of the famous church family. She was a
mighty influence for good, gathering the multitudes of mankind to her
bosom to hear the story of Him who wore the seamless robe, a story of
never failing interest to all.

   For the past several years, Sister Prayer Meeting has been failing
in health, gradually wasting away until rendered helpless by stiffness
of the knees, coldness of heart, inactivity and weakness of purpose and
will, to say nothing of sinful neglect. At the last, she was by a
shadow of her former happy self. Her last whispered words were
inquiries concerning the strange absence of her loved ones, now absent
from her presence, busy in the market places of trade and places of
entertainment and sport. Her older brother, Mr. Camp Meeting, has been
dead for many years. Her only son, Icabod had departed years before.

   Experts, including Dr. Works, Dr. Ecumenical, and Dr. Compromiser,
disagree as to the cause of her fatal illness, administering large
doses of organization, promotion, socials, teas, campus crusades, pop
psychology, and self-esteem, to no avail. A postmortem showed a
deficiency of spiritual food, coupled with lack of faith, heartfelt
religion and general lack of support were contributory causes. Only a
few were present at her death, sobbing over memories of her past beauty
and power. Carefully selected pallbearers were urged tenderly to bear
her remains away, but even they failed to appear. The floral
arrangement was an assortment of dandilions and quackgrass from the
front stoop. Her favorite hymns, "Amazing Grace", and "Rock of Ages"
were not sung. Miss Ima Modern sang "Beautiful Isle of Somewhere" and
"You light up my life", but no one present had the faintest idea where
that "isle" might be. Indeed, some of them said there was no such
place! During the second song, the lights momentarily dimmed and went
out, this was nothing new however. The few that attended the service
were well accustomed to living in darkness ever since Preachers
Hellfire & Brimstone were voted out because of meddling.

   The body rests in the beautiful cemetery of "Bygone Glories",
awaiting the summons from above, which shall bring her, with
blood-washed garments, into the presence of the God of eternity;
spotless, blameless and full of glory.

   In honor of her going, the church doors will be closed on Wednesday
night, except on the Third Wednesday of each month for BINGO & the
Ladies Gossip Auxiliary which regularily meets behind the back of the
church.

   P.S. Has your church a prayer meeting? What evening of the week does
it meet? Are you one of its supporters? Why not ask your pastor about
it? Be one of those always at your own church's meeting for prayer.

   (author unknown)

   This Article originated on the Salvation Online Network
