SER:Parent's responsibility to teach their children  by Rev. Lawson M. Smith

   "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart;
and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of
them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when
you lie down, and when you rise up" (Deut. 6:6-7).

   These words follow right after the great commandment: that we should
love the Lord our God with our whole lives, with our heart and soul and
strength. Love to the Lord should be in our hearts; and if it is in our
hearts, the Lord will be continually in our thoughts and in our speech.
We cannot help but teach His laws diligently to our children. On the
other hand, the Lord commands us to teach them to our children, so that
we ourselves may learn them better. The more diligently we try to teach
our children about the Lord, the more we ourselves will grow to love
Him, and always have His laws in the front of our minds. Teaching our
children is both an expression of love to the Lord and a way by which
the Lord can increase our love to Him.

   The more we love something, the more we want to share it. And what
do we value more than our hope of going to heaven? What greater
kindness and service could we do for our children than to teach them
the way to heaven? Especially in the New Church, we have something very
wonderful to teach our children. It is up to them to receive it, but
they need us to help them see what the Lord is offering them.

   And so, because we love our children, we want to share with them
what is most precious to us in our lives: the Lord's laws that give us
strength to do what is right in every situation, that protect and exalt
our marriages, that teach us repentance, and charity, and love to the
Lord. Our deepest hope for our children is that they may feel the
strength and peace of the Lord's laws in their lives; that they may
live a useful life within their framework, and so find eternal life in
heaven. This is the promised land which the Lord offers to each of us.

   But in a day of specialization, parents sincerely doubt their
abilities to teach their children. They wonder if the education of
children is a science which must be left to specialists in education
and child psychology, or to others who seem to be more naturally gifted
parents, while the teaching of religion is thought of as the job of the
priesthood. Besides, we often find other pursuits more rewarding than
caring for our children, and feel more successful doing other things.
Consequently, some parents abdicate their responsibility to the state
or to anyone who will take charge. New Church people sometimes feel
that they do not need to worry about family worship, instructing their
children in morality, and supervising their recreation, since we have
such good schools and such healthy environments in our communities.

   But in the face of such confusion and bad examples, we have, first
of all, the direct command of the Lord: "And these words which I
command you today shall be in your heart; and you shall teach them
diligently to your children" (text). Whether it is hard or easy,
rewarding or not, the Lord says that it is a parent's responsibility to
teach his children the Divine laws.

   And the Lord assures us that it is not difficult to figure out what
we should teach our children. "Every man, whose soul desires it, can
see the truths of the Word in light" (AR 224). "This commandment which
I command you today, it is not too mysterious for you, nor is it far
off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, 'Who will ascend into
heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?' Nor
is it beyond the sea, that you should say, 'Who will go over the sea
for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?' But the Word
of the Lord is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you
may do it" (Deut. 30:11-14).

   We can learn many things from heaven, and from across the sea of the
world's scientific knowledge, which can help us do a good job with our
children. But the basic laws of life are simple and clear, such as the
ten commandments, the golden rule, and the two great commandments to
love the Lord and the neighbor. We do not need to be specialists in
theology or child psychology to do what the Lord asks of us. The Word
of the Lord is very near each of us, in our mouths and hearts, that we
may do it ourselves, and teach our children to do so.

   But the most important reason of all why parents must teach their
own children about the Lord is that we ourselves are to love the Lord
with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our strength.
This goes beyond mere obedience, and beyond love for our children. As
the Lord our God is the one Lord, and there is no other, so our whole
life is to be united in serving Him. We are to love Him with every beat
of our heart, with every breath and with every exertion of our
strength. So if we are parents, or grandparents, or educators, or in
any way responsible for the care of children, we are to carry out this
responsibility, like all other duties, in the fear of the Lord.

   The education of our children, at home and at school, is not to be
separate from our own life of love to the Lord and love toward our
neighbor. One of the great evils of the fallen church has been to make
the ten commandments something for children to learn, but for adults to
ignore. Religion itself then becomes a specialty, for children and for
Sundays; faith has nothing to do with the rest of life.

   Instead, our first concern should be that we are obeying the ten
commandments and seeking to love the Lord with our whole selves. The
Lord says that we are to love Him in every state, and to reflect
consciously about the application of His laws to every part of our
lives. Then we will readily teach His laws to our children because our
own minds and hearts will be so full of them. "And these words which I
command you today shall be in your heart; and you shall teach them
diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in
your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and
when you rise up" (Deut. 6:6-7).

   We should talk about the Lord when we are sitting at home, as when
we're having supper. It is good for us to practice bringing the Lord
and the things of the church into our conversations more often. We
should have Him in the back of our minds even in casual conversations,
and in the way we talk to each other around the house. The Lord does
not ask that every conversation explicitly refer to Him, but that the
thought of Him should moderate the tone of our voice and the things
that we say. When we can let the Lord keep a watch over our mouths even
in the privacy of home, we will have come a long way toward the kingdom
of heaven, for when we sit in our houses, our will and real nature
appears.

   And when we go out into our day's activities, we should let the Lord
guide us. What does the Lord require of us, but to do justly, and to
love mercy, and to humble ourselves to walk with our God? In all the
walks of life, whether at work or recreation, the Lord Himself is "the
Way, the Truth and the Life." Walking is a good time for reflecting on
the course of our lives, thinking and perhaps talking with our married
partner about how our families can follow the Lord more closely. The
Lord promises that He will show us the path of life, leading to
fullness of joy in His presence.

   "And you shall talk of them...when you lie down, and when you rise
up." Lying down represents an obscure state, when we are thinking about
something, trying to figure out what is right, and what we should do.
If we talk about the Lord's laws in such a state, then perhaps we will
wake up with a clearer sight of where the Lord is leading. Ending the
day with family worship and reading from the Word turns our thoughts
away from ourselves and the passing concerns of the day, and back to
the Lord, who gives us eternal life.

   Rising up stands for a clear perception of the truth, when we have
decided what we should do and are getting up to do it. Ideally, this is
a state in which we are uplifted by the Lord, a state in which we are
talking about the words of the Lord, in our hearts if not with our
lips. If we begin each day by reading the Word, it will be easier to
remember the Lord throughout the day.

   Thus the spiritual sense confirms the plain teaching of the literal
sense that the Lord's commandments are to rule every aspect of our
lives. New Church education--at home or in school--is not a separate
doctrine, a separate part of life applying to children and young
people. It is simply one of the threads in the fabric of the life of
religion. Instruction in the Lord's laws and conversation about them
does not begin or end with formal education, but is a basic requirement
of following the Lord, from birth to eternity.

   This is reflected in the word used for "teaching diligently" in the
text. It emphasizes repetition, because all the important lessons in
life require repetition for a person to learn them well. Children love
repetition. They love the reliability, consistency and familiarity of
hearing the same patterns repeated to them over and over. We too, as
adults, love to see patterns of order and consistent laws in the world
around us. In learning moral and spiritual laws, where not only our
understanding but also our will must be affected, repetition is even
more important. How often we see young people seeming to butt their
heads against the walls of the established rules and values. It is the
only way to test the reliability and certainty of one's perception of
truth, and to refine it, much as a scientist will subject a hypothesis
to repeated tests in various circumstances. A mark of a good parent or
educator is the willingness to be patient and continue to work with a
child through his testing, repeating to him diligently the Lord's laws
to make it clear what they are and why they are. The Lord Himself
treats us this way, introducing us to the reality of our fallen nature
and the need for change, and to His constant mercy, through repeated
lessons, little by little. "For precept must be upon precept, line upon
line, here a little, there a little" (Isaiah 28:10).

   Parents have the primary responsibility--that is, the primary
ability to respond to the needs of their children--in regard to the
spiritual and moral life. Instruction in the Word and the life of
religion at home, and the example of family worship and conversation
about the Lord and His laws and what they mean for our lives, feed a
child's remains and establish a child's patterns of life in a way that
no other institution can match. A home is the peaceful haven where a
child is most free to be himself, to think his own thoughts, and so to
be most deeply impressed with the good and true things of spiritual
life. A child loves his parents more than anyone else on earth. They
represent the Lord to him in many ways, especially by their love, their
wisdom, and their strength. We are taught that the father's instruction
and example plants the holy things of the church especially deeply with
a child (see AC 2180:5).

   If there is a vacuum of religious instruction at home, this also
sets a deep and powerful example which can be hard for the children to
rise above, no matter how good a school or community they may belong
to. But on the other hand, if parents are diligent in teaching the
words of the Lord to their children, and are just as diligent in
seeking this instruction for themselves as adults, then New Church
schools, religion lessons, New Church communities and social life can
confirm and enrich the lives of the families. Both the adults and the
children have a life of moral integrity because their lives are unified
and focused on the one Lord.

   So let us bind the Lord's commandment of love upon our hands and set
it constantly before our eyes, in every aspect and state of our lives.
"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; and
you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of
them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when
you lie down, and when you rise up" (Deut. 6:6-7). Amen.

   Lessons: Deut. 6; Matt. 7:7-12, 18:1-5, 28:16-20; AC 1038:1b, 8a
Preached in Mitchellville, Maryland on August 11, 1985
