X-Anonymously-To: alt.startrek.creative
Subject:       Nerd Trek II:  I HATE Sequels!  So here it is.. :)


     Some time back...  
     Nerd Trek was posted.  
     While this in itself may be regarded as a small event, it marked 
     the beginning of a saga that cries to be completed.  I feel that 
     the fate of the Weasal, err..  Wes, must be resolved.  And that's 
     ain't the half of it, folks...  :)  By the end of this saga, 
     your mind will be destroyed...  SO WHAT?!?  I never really cared 
     about you!  MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!   Oops, I'm beginning to slip, 
     time for that Thorazine injection...    


     BE WARNED!  This parody is a lot steamier than the last one.  My 
     sex drive is kicking in.  Go figure.

     COPYRIGHT Stefan K. Mclean, Author.  May be distributed in whole 
     or in part, but be sure to include my name, and please, don't 
     edit for the purpose of redistributing!  Thanks...




                      And The Adventure Continues...
                      
                  STAR TREK: THE REVENGE OF THE NERDS II
                  
                 
     PICARD (voice):  Space... the final frontier.  These are the 
     voyages of the Starship ENTERPRISE; its continuing mission:  To 
     exploit strange, nude girls.  To freak out new life, and neuter 
     civil libertarians.  To perkily go where others have gone before!
     
     (ENTERPRISE does the rubber-band thingy, and enters the Plaid 
     Zone.)
     
     PICARD:  Blast it!  Reduce speed!
     
     (ENTERPRISE re-enters normal warp space.)
     
     PICARD:  That's much better.  We can't have this silliness 
     about.  As you know, I like a good laugh.  But this is just 
     plain-
     WAAAGGH!!!
     
     CRUSHER:  Sorry, folks.  Jean-luc is... occupied at the moment.
     
     LAFORGE:  Is it time for the commercial?
     
     DATA:  I believe it would be appropriate.
     
          
                        FADE TO COMMERCIAL 
 
                           FADE TO SHOW
     
     (View of the Enterprise cruising at warp)
                           
     PICARD (voice over):  Captain's Log.  I give in.  It's a log 
     after all, I'm told.  Stardate 45678.3.  We are proceeding to  
     Starbase 23 for some recreational leave after our encounters 
     with the Tri-Lam culture.  The loss of Commander Riker has 
     saddened the crew, most notably Counsellor Troi.  Mr. Data has 
     been promoted to the rank of First Officer, with the rank of 
     full Commander.  Mr.  Barclay has been promoted to the position 
     of third in command, on the recommendation of Mr. Data.  I am 
     hopeful that he will make a fine command officer...
     
     CUT TO BRIDGE
     
     PICARD:  Estimated time to Starbase 23, Ensign?
     
     ENSIGN:  Three hours at current speed, Sir.
     
     PICARD:  Very good.  You have the Bridge, Numb.. (pause) Number 
     One.
     
     DATA:  Aye, sir.
     
     PICARD:  Oh, and, Mr. Data...  When I get back up here I want a 
     SWIVELLY CHAIR!!  In 10 minutes!  No, make that 5...     
     
     DATA:  Right away, Sir.  
     
     DATA begins twisting the chair, until it turns freely.  He looks 
     satisfied.  For an encore, he gives it a raised platform, yeah, 
     JUST LIKE KIRK'S!!!

     CUT TO PICARD'S QUARTERS
     
     (Dr. Crusher enters just as Picard sits down to read a book.)
     
     CRUSHER:  Jean-Luc, you haven't talked about Wes since the 
     incident.  I know, you feel bad about it.  So do I.  I WISH 
     SOMEONE HAD TAKEN OUT THE LITTLE ASSHOLE SOONER!
     
     PICARD:  I know.  it's just so damn peaceful without the little 
     bastard annoying Geordi or myself all the time.  Although, I 
     must say, he was right about Commander Riker.  He was turning 
     into a fat arrogant bastard.  I almost (shudder) think he was on 
     his way to becoming another Kirk. 

     BEVERLY:  No!  Don't say it!  The only reason any of the women 
     on board were ever safe was because Troi found him appealing.  
     If he had turned into Kirk---

     PICARD:  Yes, I know.  Even the old women and young girls      
     wouldn't be safe!  Still, I miss him.  He had a flair, a style.  
     I hope Commander Data is able to fill his shoes.

     CRUSHER:  Me too, Captain.  But right now, it's time for.. 
     (licks lips) our therapy session.

     
     FADE OUT AS PICARD AND CRUSHER DIVE AT THE BED

     FADE TO BRIDGE
     
     DATA:  I must speak with Mr. LaForge about the warp systems.  
     Mr.  Barclay, you have the bridge.
     
     BARCLAY (who his practically shitting himself): Y-y-y-yes Sir.
     
     BARCLAY stumbles on his way to the command chair, even though it 
     is a very short walk from the Helm.
     
     CUT TO MAIN ENGINEERING
     
     DATA:  Computer, locate Commander LaForge.
     
     COMPUTER:  Commander LaForge is in the Starboard nacelle control 
     room.
     
     DATA:  Data to LaForge.
     
     We hear heavy panting coming over the intercom.  Then suddenly 
     we hear a scream, and the words "Yes! Yes!  Go to Warp 9!  
     OOOHH!!!     

     DATA:  Computer, scan Mr. LaForge!
     
     COMPUTER:  Commander LaForge and Ensign Tsu are engaged in 
     sexual activity on the nacelle control panel.
     
     DATA:  I'm going up there.  Lieutenant D'Sora, come with me.
     
     D'SORA (excitedly):  Yes Sir!
     
     CUT TO NACELLE CONTROL ROOM
     
     Geordi and Tsu are buck naked, plonking away at each other in 
     the 69th Position.  Data and D'Sora arrive unobserved, and they 
     try out the 'fully functional' portions of Data's programming...
     
     ABOUT 3 HOURS LATER...
     
     D'Sora can no longer walk upright.  Data has discovered that he 
     DOES have some emotional capacity.  Now, he declares his undying 
     love for Geordi, as they try to find out if Data has an asshole.
     Definitely not for the faint hearted audience members.  No 
     descriptions will be given, it's not THAT kind of story!
     
     CUT TO PICARD'S QUARTERS
     
     PICARD:  Beverly,
     
     CRUSHER:  Hmm?
     
     PICARD:  Face the camera for a moment.
     
     CRUSHER stands to face the camera; She is still naked, nad we 
     get a great view of her body.  GOD what a body!
     
     PICARD:  Well, that settles the flame wars on 
     alt.startrek.creative.  You are DEFINITELY sexier than Troi.
     
     CRUSHER:  Thank you Jean-Luc! (blushes; her nipples are at full 
     attention; frankly, as I write about it, so are mine...)
     
     PICARD gets aroused; We can see that he is quite hard through 
     that open-front pajama thing.  They melt into each other and the 
     camera fades out...  Sorry, no graphic details!
     
     AUDIENCE:  Fuck you!  
     
     WRITER:  Tell ya what.  Just write me a flame!  Send to my real 
     address if you want a prompt reply.  On with the show!
     
                          CUT TO COMMERCIAL
                         
                            BACK TO SHOW
                            
                            
     TIME TO GET SERIOUS FOLKS!  HERE WE GO!!!
     
     FADE to the Genesis Nebula.
     
     We see a small, translucent amber cube being buffetted at the 
     edge of the protomatter nebula.  An energy pulse careens through 
     the Nebula; it strikes the cube, propelling it into space, 
     sending with it a small cloud of suddenly transformed normal 
     matter.  it forms a cloud about the cube.  An energy pulse from 
     the holocube, generated by the ionization effects sorrounding 
     the Nebula, set up a very special wave front.  Energy and matter 
     merge, blend.  Fire leaps forth, consuming all matter and all 
     energy about the cube.  It glows red, and the matter begins to 
     take form.  The cube transforms into something resembling a 
     human brain, before it is sealed withing the outer layer of 
     matter.  This protomatter shell begins to alter in shape and 
     appearance.  Finally, it resembles a human form, in a pressure 
     suit.  The form floats through space, drifting...
     
     A Tri-lam star vessel cruises past.  Their sensors pick up the 
     form, and they send out a party to bring it in.  
     
     It is Wesley Crusher.  He is back...
     
     CUT TO TRI-LAM SHIP
     
     LEADER:  My Gods, what is this?
     
     NERD #2:  I think it's a human, duuh.
     
     NERD #3:  Oh jeez, he means what is he doing on our ship?  We 
     picked him up on the edge of the Genesis Nebula, Sir.  He 
     appears to be alive and well, whover he is.  
     
     WESLEY (Opening eyes):  The ship--Out of danger?
     
     LEADER:  Huh?  You sound like that Vulcan from the first 
     Enterprise!  What is this?
     
     WESLEY:  I am Ensign Wesley Crusher, Starship Enterprise.  You 
     seem familiar, but I do not seem to recall...  It's as if part 
     of my mind were--erased.  
     
     NERD #2 (whispering to NERD #3):  Say, wasn't Wesley the name of 
     that being that placed itself inside the Enterprise computer?  
     The one that saved us from Riker and his cohort Barf?
     
     Nerd #3:  That's WORF.  He's a cling-on, remember?
     
     WESLEY:  Yes, he does behave like one, doesn't he?
     
     LEADER:  So, Wesley..  How did you regain human form?  Why were 
     you drifting in an environment suit in the Genesis Nebula?
     
     WESLEY:  I was sent off as punishment.  I killed Riker.  this 
     was my punishment.  They placed my holo-cube in the shuttle, and 
     ran the program.  I flew the shuttle out of the ship, on a 
     course towards Tri-Lamba.  But the Enterprise launched a tractor 
     beam, shoving me off course.  I was propelled into the nebula.  
     My craft broke up, and my cube was thrown clear.  Some freak 
     reaction brought about by the shuttle's warp core caused a 
     Genesis wave to engulf me.  It read and translated my      
     holographic matrix, and, here I am.  I remember putting on    
     an enviro suit just before the craft went in, so that I could 
     repair a portion of the hull in flight.  Guess that saved me.  
     Wow, I'm BACK!!!  MWUHAHAHAHA!!!!  NOTHING can stop me!  I'm 
     INVINCIBLE!  I will return to the Enterprise as soon as I can.  
     Can you take us to Starbase 23?  That's where the Enterprise was 
     headed before I was shoved off.  Well, DO IT!  I'm just to 
     PERFECT to disobey!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!    

     NERD #3 (whisper):  I think he's gone a little gaga.  The matrix 
     may have been contaminated.  We gotta watch him close.  He 
     shouldn't be trusted.

     NERD #2:  I agree.  But let's not raise suspicion.  Tell our 
     Leader that we should go, and tell him what you suspect.  We 
     gotta let him think we trust him, for now.

     WESLEY:  I must go and rest now.  I need to think about how I 
     will take my rightful place on the Enterprise...  
     
     WESLEY leaves the Bridge.  We see worried expressions on the 
     faces of the nerds, as they prepare to do what they know must be 
     done.
     
     LEADER:  Open a channel to the Enterprise; we need to talk to 
     Picard.
     
                           FADE TO BLACK
                           
   Part II to follow soon, the more that people ask, the sooner it 
   happens, for those that like this deranged lunacy...  :)          
                 

   
  
Mclean, S. K, your Captain for this flight into fantasy...

     "What's this world coming too?  Just yesterday, I was held up by 
my father!"
    -Me.  Ain't it grand?
     "You need a fuckin' better sig!"
    -Ravnos
    
Can Be Reached At:  an81340@anon.penet.fi
Or, my Actual Address, for faster responses:  S06I@CSDNOV3.UNB.CA
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