                        MASTURBATION

Backstroke roulette             Bash the candle
Beat off                        Beat the bishop
Beat the meat                   Beat the dummy
Beat the stick                  Bleed the weed
Blow your load                  Bludgeon the beefsteak
Bop the bolgney
Buff the banana                 Burp the worm
Butter the corn                 Choke the chicken
Choke the sherrif and wait for the posse to come
Clean your rifle                Crank the shank
Crown the king                  Cuff the carrot
Diddle                          Drain the monster
Fist fuck                       Fist your mister
Five against one                Flog the dog
Flog the hog                    Flog your dong
Flute solo                      Fondle the fig
Gallup the antelope             Give it a tug
Grease the pipe                 Hack the hog
Hand job                        Hand work
Have it off                     Hitchhike under the big top
Hump your hose                  Jack hammer
Jack off                        Jazz yourself
Jerk off                        Jerk the gherkin
Loop the mule                   Make tye bald man puke
Manipulate the mango            Manual override
Milk the lizard
Nerk your throbber              Oil the glove
                                One man show
Pack your palm                  Paddle the pickle
Paint the pickle                Paint the walls
Peal the carrot
Please your pisser              Plunk your twanger
Pocket pinball                  Pocket pool
Polish the rocket               Polish the sword
Pound off                       Pound your flounder
Pound your pud                  Pull off
Pull the pole                   Pull the pope
Pull your taffy                 Pump the python
Ram the ham                     Ride the great white knuckler
Rope the pony                   Shaking hands with the unemployed
Shine your pole                 Shoot putty at the moon
Slam the hammer                 Slammin' the salami
Slappin' pappy                  Slapping the clown
Slingin' jelly                  Snap the monkey
Snap the whip                   Spank the frank
Squeeze the lemon               Strokin' it
Stroke off                      Stroke your poker
Tease the weasle                Tenderize the meat
The five knuckle shuffle        Toss the turkey
Thump the pump                  Tickle your pickle
Toss off                        Walk the dog
Wank                            Wax the dolphin
Wack off                        Whip the dummy
Whip your dripper               Whizzin' jizzim
Wonk your conker                Wrestle your eel
Wring out your rope             Yank off
Yank the crank                  Flogging the frog
Mangling the midget             Choking Ko Jak
