Subject: FAQ for alt.choad  **LAST POSTING**
Date: 24 May 1994 05:30:46 GMT

Due to circumstances beyond my control I will not be able to continue
posting this FAQ.  It would be "cool" if someone else would take over
the duties of FAQ maintenance.  Good luck.

 -EMC


Frequently Asked Questions for alt.choad


Q: What is a choad?

A: 'Choad' is a word with several meanings.  If you hail from central
Michigan, a choad is either a 'floater,' a loaf that is floating in the
bowl, or it is the tip of the penis, known to scientists as the glans
and to circumcised men as the firehat.  (The uncircumcised head is an
anteater.)  If you are from California, a choad is a human penis in its
entirety.  Some dedicated porn hounds report that in blue films 'doad'
actually denotes the total human penis, while 'choad' is either the load
of semen ejaculate itself, or else the tender skin stretching between
the vagina and the anus.  This last is also known as the 'chin rest.'


Q: Who is C. Joad?

A: C. Joad was an English philosopher and prolific author who lived dur-
ing the middle, meaty part of this century.  He is best remembered for
initiating the formal study and codification of Gamesmanship by his in-
vention and employment of Joad's Gambit to win a pre-war game of lawn
tennis.  See the works of Stephen Potter for information on Gamesman-
ship.  C. Joad is under no circumstances to be confused with the common
choad.


Q: What is a chard?

A: A chard is a leafy green vegetable with a high nutritional value. It
is not to be confused with a choad.


Q: What is smegma?

A: Smegma is a sebaceous cheeselike substance exuded from the tip or
choad of the penis.  It makes uncircumcised men's lives that much more
of a hassle.


Q: What is a taint?

A: The word taint is an abbreviation of the phrase "It ain't a pussy and
it ain't an asshole!" and it refers to the 'chin rest' mentioned above.
Another name for the taint is 'shit wipe plate' and this rather intimate
area is the anatomy on which episiotemies are performed.  If you look
closely you will notice a slight concavity in the inner female thighs
surrounding the taint.


Q: What is a grogan?

A: A grogan is a healthy shit.  Rare in some areas.


Q: What is felching?

A: Felching (also 'feltching' in some states) is the act of removing se-
men from an anus using either a tongue or a plastic straw inserted care-
fully into the rectum.  The liquid so removed from the anus has vari-
ously been known as 'felchate,' or just 'way fucking gross.'  The Irish
have been arguing about the meaning of felching for years.


Q: What is snoodling?

A: Another term with wildly differing definitions.  The word snoodling
does double duty both as the name for the practice of 'foreskin fucking'
and as the moniker for a form of nasal sex wherein semen is squirted up
into the nasal passages, usually following intense ejaculation as a re-
sult of masturbation or fellatio.


Q: What is rimming?

A: In general American use and according to Iarla Byrne of Dublin, rim-
ming is the licking of another's anus.  Apparently the Irish believe
that rimming in the US means the masturbating of one man by another, but
this is a false belief.


Many thanks to kwd@netcom.com (Kurt W. Dekker), jlauer@npac.syr.edu
(Jim Lauer), peter@mcpew7.lsi.tmg.nec.co.jp (Peter B.C.), Stephen
Potter (RIP) and also another guy whose name I didn't bother to keep.

