.Reasons Dead Men are Better than Live Men

1)  They stay with you afterwards.

2)  They are always hard.

3)  They don't ask you to swallow.

4)  They don't lie to you.

5)  They always listen to you.

6)  Birth control is not a necessity.

7)  They don't talk about it with their friends.

8)  They let you come first.

9)  You can always find them when you need them.

10) They don't make you sleep in the wet spot.

11) They don't snore.

12) They don't fall asleep on you.

13) They are never obnoxious at parties.

14) They never cheat on you.

15) They never ask to borrow your toothbrush.

16) They never leave the seat up.

17) They don't ask to take pictures.

18) They don't ask, "Did you come?"


.Reasons Dead Women are Better than Live Women

1)  Any kind of sex is OK.

2)  They don't expect you to be sensitive.

3)  They don't expect you to stay after.

4)  They're always tight.

5)  They never ask you to clean up.

6)  They never have PMS.

7)  You can share her with your friends.

8)  They don't mind 'another woman'.

9)  She will let you come in her mouth-- and she won't bite when you do.

10) Their nipples are always erect.

11) They never "just want to snuggle."

12) You don't have to buy her dinner.

13) Dry ice is cheap.

14) They won't fake orgasms.

15) You never have to say "Oops" or "I'm sorry."

16) They don't leave stuff all over the bathroom.

17) They don't mind if you haven't shaved.

18) They never give you a hard time about your Hustler subscription.

19) They don't care how big you are.

20) They let you take pictures (and post them :-)


That's it for the long lists, but we just had to come up with something
for the converse situations.  Thus:


.Reasons Live Women are Better than Dead Women

1)  You can use the space in your fridge for something else.

and
.Reasons Live Men are Better than Dead Men

1)  There are none.


David, Laura, Mark and Shyly

