Nntp-Posting-Host: newton


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Sexist Jokes
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How many men does it take to do the washing ?
None - its a womens job.

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Why did God invent lesbians ?
So feminists wouldn't breed.

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How many orgasms does a woman have during a good fuck ?
Who cares ?

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Jim:  "Joe, I hear you just got married again."
Joe:  "Yes, for the fourth time."
Jim:  "What happened to your first three wives?"
Joe:  "They all died, Jim."
Jim:  "How did that happen?"
Joe:  "My first wife ate poison mushrooms."
Jim:  "How terrible!  And your second?"
Joe:  "She ate poison mushrooms."
Jim:  "And your third ate poison mushrooms too?"
Joe:  "Oh, no.  She died of a broken neck."
Jim:  "I see, an accident."
Joe:  "Not exactly.  She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

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A giant truck stops to pick up a
hitch-hikeress.  The driver opens the door
and says:
-"Come on in.  I'm not like the other ones,
that only let the good-looking Girls have
a ride."

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-"I'd like my wife to be beautiful, well-behaving, smart
and rich.", the bachelor said.
-"Oh, well, then you have to get married four times."

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What is a macho man ?
After getting a blow job, he asks the woman, 'Was it as good for you,
as it was for me ?'

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What is a more macho man ?
At the critical moment, he can't get it up, he asks the woman,
'Does this happen to you often ?'

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Why do women have periods ?
Because they deserve them.

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A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says,
   "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
his mom replies,
   "The bride is in white because she's happy and this
is the happiest day of her life."
The boys thinks about this, and then says,
   "Well then why is the boy wearing black..."

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What do you call a woman with 90% of her intelligence gone ?
divorced

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What do you call a woman without an asshole ?
Divorced.

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A women described that one night, while she and her husband were making love,
she suddenly noticed something sticking in his ear.  When she asked him what it
was he replied 'Be quiet, woman!  I'm listening to the cricket.'

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A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute....
The feminist was argueing over the different pay scales that her women were 
receiving...
FEM: Ok why are women payed less than men for doing the same job that a man 
does.
NEG: Well It says in the bible that women are worth less than men.
FEM: Where does it say that I don't think so.
NEG Well you do agree that woman was made from a rib correct?
FEM: Yea So?
NEG: Well there you have it A rib is a cheaper cut of meat!

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So, God made Adam.  Adam was walking around one day and realized that he
was lonely, so he asked God for a companion.

God said,"I can make a woman for you.  She will cook and clean and do 
everything you ask her to.  She will wait on you hand and foot.  She will 
be so beautiful that you won't be able to take your eyes off of her.  
It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg, though."

Adam said,"Well, what can I get for a rib?"

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Q:  Why did the woman cross the road?
A:  Who cares? What the HELL was she doing out of the kitchen?!!

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Three women were granted one wish each,
The first wished to be 10 times as smart, she became 10 time as smart.
The second wished to be 1000 times as smart, she became 1000 times as smart.
The third wished to be 1000000000 times as smart, guess what?
"She became a MAN"!

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A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their
car breaks down.  They are unable to get repairs completed and it appears
that they will have to spend the night in a motel.

The only motel in this town has only one room available so they have a
minor problem.

PRIEST:  Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the
circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room.  I'll
sleep on the couch and you take the bed.

SISTER:  I think that would be okay.

They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room.
Ten minutes later...

SISTER:  Father, I'm terribly cold.

PRIEST:  Okay, I'll get up and get you a blanket from the closet.

Ten minutes later...

SISTER:  Father, I'm still terribly cold.

PRIEST:  Okay Sister, I'll get up and get you another blanket.

Ten minutes later...

SISTER:  Father, I'm still terribly cold.  I don't think the Lord would
mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.

PRIEST:  You're probably right...........Get up and get your own damn
blanket.

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A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the
man I sure wish I had bigger tits.

Well the man responed by saying she should rub toilet paper all over
them.

The woman looked at him and said "Toilet Paper, what will that do?"

The man said I don't know but look what it's done for your ass.

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