Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
A #1: She's a woman.
A #2: She's dead.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?
You would to if your name was  AAAHHHAAARRRHHARH!!!!

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other side?
They called back.

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
A #1: Rearrange the furniture.
A #2: Put Saran Wrap on the toliet. 
A #3: Put the plunger in the toilet.
A #4: Glued doorknobs to the walls

Why has Helen Keller got a yellow leg
Her dog is blind too.

How Many hands does it take Helen Keller to Masturbate ? 
2. One to do it, one to moan !

INTRODUCING - the new Helen Keller Doll. Wind it up and watch it walk into the
.      patio doors.

What did HK do when she fell out of the tree?
She screamed her hands off.

How did HK break her arm in the car?.
Trying to read stop signs.

How did HK get pock marks on her face?
Learning to eat with a fork.

Helen Keller on the game show "To Tell the Truth:
"Contestant Number 1, what is your name, please?"
"My name is Helen Keller."
"Contestant Number 2, what is your name, please?"
"My name is Helen Keller."
"Contestant Number 3, what is your name, please?"
"Brjkguadb hsh i jopw qusbhw."

What happened when Helen Keller fell into a well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How did Helen Keller burn her face?
Bobbing for french fries.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
Trying to read a waffle iron.

What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book?
"Around the block in 80 Days"

Define true love.
Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Why didn't Hellen scream when she fell of a cliff?
She was wearing mittens.

