My ex-wife is so fat, she has to get her dresses made by
Barnum and Bailey.

One time we went to the zoo, and the elephants started throwing
her peanuts.

When we went to the beach, and the Greenpeace people kept trying to
push her back in the water.

Last Sunday at church, nobody would leave until she sang.

My ex-wife is so fat, my freinds call her the Badyear Blimp.

The other day she was standing on the corner, and the cops came
along and said "Hey! Break it up!"

She's so fat, one time she stood on a talking scale and it said 
"Hey, one at a time!"

I kept trying to leave her, but I couldn't escape her 
Gravitational pull.

She's so fat, she even has her own asteroid belt.

The other day, she went for a walk and it registered
6.5 on the Richter scale.

When she hauls ass, she has to make 2 trips.

She's so fat, when we had sex I had to roll her in flour just to find
the wet spot.  What's even worse, was when she had a yeast infection.

Her first husband past away.  His last words were "Sit on my face, Baby."

My wife is so fat that whenever she sits on my face, I can't hear the 
phone ring!

She's so fat that she can kick start a 747 !

My ex-wife was so fat, she died in the fire of our house and there was
a smell of french fries.

My wife is so fat, if she was 2 feet taller, she'd be spherical.

My wife is so fat, one day she hurt herself by walking on her belly-button.

My ex-wife was so fat, she was kidnaped by a canibal tribe... They all
died of cholesterol.

My wife is so fat, last time she was getting a tan at the beach, the 
GreenPeace people tried to put her back into water. 

My wife is so fat that a picture of her would weigh 15 pounds.

My ex-wife was so fat that she couldn't seat.

My wife is so fat that when she wants me to help her putting her belt, I
use the car. (I even ran out of gaz once).

My wife is so fat that she's even more fat than my ex-wife.

She's so fat, whenever she wants to haul ass, she has to make 2 trips.

She's so fat, the other day she was standing on the corner, and
the cops came by and said "Hey, break it up!"

Her butt is so big, you can even see it from the front.

When we went to the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

My freinds call her the Bad Year Blimp.

She has her dresses made by Barnum and Bailey.

The other day she went for a walk, and it registered 6.5 on the Richter scale.

She tried NutriSystems, but they gave her her money back.

I kept trying to leave her, but I couldn't escape her gravitational pull.

She's so fat, she even has her own asteroid belt.

When you do 69 with her, you better have a snorkel hanging out of her ass,
otherwise you'll be dead meat.

She's so fat she get a ticket for walking the wrong way in a one way.

She's so fat she doesn't sit, she spreads.

Your feet are not that big, but, please will you remove your shoes
so that your dad take the car out of garage!

What an hose!  I mean, what a nose (but where's the difference for you?)

I'm so afraid of crowd that I have no mirror on wall at home.
