Subject: Sexual Equality Repealed by Government 
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 1993 22:08:33 GMT

         Canadian Government Announces Repeal
         Of All Women's Rights Legislation


(UPI) Ottawa.  In a surprise move today, the Canadian Parliament
repealed ALL equal rights legislation pertaining to women.

"We hate to admit it, but it was ALL a big mistake," said a
spokesman from the Prime Minister's Office.

A sociologist from the University of Ottawa, when reached for
comment, had this to say:

"It is not reasonable to expect women in general to meet the
demands of equality that society places on people.  Equality
is NOT, I repeat, NOT a free ride, as some females seems
to think.

"Think about it:  after at least 200 centuries of oppression
you're going to see some mental damage.  It's ludicrous to
expect that 70 years of equality will bring the female mind
up to snuff in many cases."

"And in the mean time, society breaks down, and both men and
women are disoriented and extremely unhappy."

"Of course, this begs the question of whether the gross illogic
and general intellectual and emotional impairment that
characterizes a significant number of females is the RESULT of,
or the CAUSE of their oppression by men."
 
"I call this the 'Chick or the Egg Theory'," he smirked.

According to employment experts, the widespread belief among
working females that employment is simply how you "mark time
between gestation periods" was a significant factor in the
backlash.

Prime Minister Kim Campbell announced her resignation, effective
immediately.  "I'm fat, stupid, ugly, AND I'm a two-time loser,"
she said referring to her two failed marriages.  "If I can't
even run two marriages properly, how can I run a country?"

"It's all Brian's fault -- that alcoholic bastard!  He told me
that all I needed to qualify for government office was vaulting
ambition and a perverse lust for power at any cost.  He said
that it had worked very well for him."

"The Feminist Movement has now been officially added to the
Guinness Book of Records List of 'Great Disappointments', 
right along side with Quebec Nationalism and the Toronto
Maple Leafs."

