                      Common Sense Word Problems


INTRODUCTION
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     This file contains word problems that can be solved by using your
common  sense  (assuming  you  HAVE   any;   avid   Dedaparamaxxaginos
Productions  readers  can  safely  assume  they  will FAIL this exam).
Think before you answer the questions.  There will be a quiz  on  this
material sometime within the 21st century.

And now, on with the show.

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COMMON-SENSE WORD PROBLEMS

1).  Suppose  you  are on an elevator on the 16th floor of a building,
     when the cable breaks.  As you plummet  toward  the  ground,  you
     recall that you once heard that by jumping up FAST at the instant
     of impact, you can escape death.  You also recall that the floors
     are  twelve  feet apart and that the speed of a falling object is
     32 feet per second per second. When should you jump?

SOLUTION:  You would impact between the 2nd and 3rd second  after  the
cable  broke,  so  you  would  want to jump 2 seconds after the break.
However, considering the calculations involved, you would probably end
up as a heap of screaming bloody fucking mess at  the  bottom  of  the
elevator shaft.  Besides, there's no telling if jumping really works.


2).  A light year is 5.9x10^12 miles and Alpha  Centuri  is  2.5x10^14
     miles away.  If your friend stood on the surface of Alpha Centuri
     and  waved,  how long would it be until you could see it from the
     earth?

SOLUTION: From now until hell freezes over.  NO telescope yet invented
has THAT kind of magnification.  Besides,  Alpha Centuri is a star and
your friend couldn't get within miles of it without being vaporized.


3).  Buildings A and B are adjacent buildings.  The floors in Building
     A are 12 feet apart,  and  it  is  16  stories  high.  If  Ronald
     McDonald  jumped out of the 20th story window of Building A,  how
     far would he fall before hitting the roof of Building B?

SOLUTION: Far enough. . .


4).  The chance of rolling snake eyes is 1 in 36.  If you  roll  snake
     eyes eight times in a row with the same pair of dice, what is the
     chance of rolling snake eyes on your ninth roll?

SOLUTION: Pretty Good!  The dice are obviously rigged.


5).  The human body holds nine  quarts  of  blood.  Suppose  you  were
     alone  in  the  desert and accidently cut a major artery.  If you
     bleed at one cup a minute,  how long will it take you to bleed to
     death?

SOLUTION: Apply a tourniquet and you won't!
