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			      The Art of Begging 
			      ------------------ 
 
 
	Begging is a method by which one can procure the funds necessary to 
sustain one's self virtually indefinitely, at almost no personal cost, except 
humiliation.  By utilizing proper begging technique, very good yield can be 
obtained.  The main discourse which will be covered in this tutorial, and by 
far the most important in the actual begging procedure, will be the proper 
mental manipulation of the Funder (he who funds the Beggar) by the truly  
skilled Student of Procurement Arts, or the Beggar.  These skills have long 
proven themselves invaluable when exercised in the correct locale, at the  
proper time interval. 
 
 
		Part 1:  (in)Famous Beggars 
 
	The art of begging is not a new one, but one which has been practiced 
for many a year, by many a once poor, (or even once rich) and currently  
extremely prosperous soul.  Many a Beggar have found within begging the means 
to obtain houses otherwise unavailable to their childhood friends who decided 
to choose the unfortunately straight path in life, and actually work for their 
income.  These suckers now live in the trash neighborhoods, while the Beggars 
are able to afford mansions in the plush, inner-city playgrounds of the rich. 
 
	Case Study #1:   
	Locale:  San Fransisco, California 
	Beggar Type:  Beat Box Dancer 
	Beggar Name:  Unknown 
	Beggar's Racial Background:  Black 
	Information:  This Beggar dances in San Fransisco on the harbor, on a 
milk box.  He has a boom box playing rap tunes, and whenever someone drops 
money within the overturned box at his feet, he does a little "robotic" dance 
to the rap tune, complete with servo and engine noises emitted from his mouth. 
This probably mainly works because of his black racial background--he is able 
to keep to the beat of the tune, and not mess up his dance.  He dresses  
slightly shabbily when he works, but it is known that he owns a mansion in 
wine country, as well as a yacht in the harbor.  This man is a true example 
of proper begging skills. 
 
	Case Study #2: 
	Locale:  Denver, Colorado 
	Beggar Type:  Story Teller 
	Beggar Name:  Unknown 
	Beggar's Racial Background:  Apparently White 
	Information:  While traversing the 16th Street Mall in Denver, we came 
across several Beggars of all types, yet none seemed to know proper begging 
skills, and would simply request money of our party.  Eventually, we were 
approached by a man who did, in fact, know his skills, and was very proficient 
at the practicing thereof.  Instead of requesting monetary funds immediately  
of our group, he began with a story of his demise, beginning with a horrible 
drug addiction, highlights in clinics, and the military, and ending when his 
social security was no longer redeemable, and he was finally forced to live  
out his days on the streets.  He claimed to have finally reformed, and kicked 
the drug habit, and just wanted a few dollars to buy a meal.  How could anyone 
refuse someone like this after he took the time to tell a story like that?   
(Took over 4 minutes!)  Excellent technique. 
 
	Case Study #3: 
	Locale:  Washington, D.C. 
	Beggar Type:  Pamphlet Seller 
	Beggar Name:  Unknown 
	Beggar's Racial Background:  Black 
	Information:  Free pamphlets are available throughout the D.C. area for 
tourists, such that they can know which tourist sites to visit while they're  
in the area.  This Beggar took advantage of the situation, and turned it 
around such that these "free" pamphlets would give him much income.  By 
obtaining large stacks of these free pamphlets from their distribution 
centers, and then offering them for sale on the street, he was able to create 
his own personal business opportunity.  He approached our group wearing a 
brightly colored outfit, and offered us pamphlets for $5 each.  Seeing that 
these were the same pamphlets I could obtain from my hotel, I declined his  
offer, but realized that most tourists would not, as they have not the  
intellect to do so.  Doing some quick calculations, I determined that in 
a good location, during the day, with only 100 tourists passing per hour, 
and 75 of these purchasing the pamphlets, our Beggar could make $375 per  
hour!  In a better location, such as in between some of the Smithsonian  
buildings, our Beggar may be able to encounter as many as 400-500 tourists 
per hour, perhaps with a bit lower tourist:purchase ratio, and make as much 
as $1250 per hour!  This technique is obviously enhanced even more greatly  
when our Beggar reinvests his funds and creates an appearance for himself  
as if he works for the city, such that he will gain the trust of the 
Funders.  This technique is, perhaps, the best available for quick 
profiteering through semi-legal, and/or begging means.  By working in a 
prime spot for only two-three hours a day, this Beggar could procure more 
funds in one day than a large percentage of the population makes in one MONTH!  
 
	Case Study #4: 
	Locale:  Denver, Colorado 
	Beggar Type:  Gimme A Quarter 
	Beggar Name:  David 
	Beggar's Racial Background:  Apparently White 
	Information:  David has enough money provided by his parents to afford 
medial needs, and definitely lives well above sustenance level.  However, when 
pocket cash becomes low in supply, David has found a way to purchase what he 
needs without breaking into his bank funds.  By asking for a quarter--no more, 
no less, from those he passes in the hall of George Washington High School, he 
is able to appeal to the fact that most don't consider amounts less than one 
dollar to be of great value.  David has been able to make up to five dollars in 
less than ten minutes, a very nice yield for a small-time, low-level Beggar. 
David is also a good example of how a Beggar must present the correct 
atmosphere to his Funder for good usage of his begging skills.  Recently, 
while begging, David accidentally opened his hand, which happened to be full  
of funds he had procured, while soliciting a possible Funder.  This was his 
major mistake, as, upon seeing that David already had sufficient funds in hand, 
the Funder had a change of heart, and gave David instead, an offer to kiss  
her ass.  Small time begging is great for those moments in which the Beggar  
has plenty of funds in the bank, but isn't in the mood to visit the ATM 
 machine. 
 
 
		Part 2:  Begging Methodology 
 
	Now that we have reviewed some techniques of frequent, and skilled  
Beggars, we will break these down and form a general plan from which all 
begging solicitation can take place.  This plan will enable the prospective 
user to form his own mold, specific to his particular situation and begging 
needs. 
	As seen in Case Study #1 and Case Study #3, the Dancer and the Seller, 
respectively, Funders who have large pockets want to get something in return 
on occasion.  The Dancer gave his Funders a bit of entertainment value, namely 
the music from his box, and his robot dance, which can be seen to be of slight 
interest to those with nothing better to do with their time.  The Seller, on 
the other hand, offered his funders a tangible good, the pamphlet which he 
attempted to pawn off upon them.  This allowed the Funders a feeling that they 
had actually procured something of value for their money, and were not simply 
putting it into an empty expenditure.  This helps when begging, because many 
Funders wish to know where their Funds are headed. 
	We can break down these skills even further, by stating that most 
basic skills that a potential Beggar may posses can be utilized for purposes 
of fund procurement.  I'm sure that most who will read this have, at some time, 
seen a low-level Beggar utilizing these techniques, performing in the street 
with a guitar, or with one's voice.  This is very effective, but has inherent  
errors in most basic techniques.  Mainly, this is derived from the fact that  
the said Beggars usually leave their gained funds out in the open, for any  
potential Funders to take a glance at.  This will inherently endanger the 
Beggar if too many funds are left to view, or if not enough are seen.  Too 
many, and the Funder will assume that enough has been given to the Beggar  
already to placate his needs.  Not enough, and the Funder will tell himself 
that if indeed no one else has donated to the said Beggar, why should he?  
Thus, when offering service as the begging technique, a certain amount of  
funds, usually specific to the target Funders, and/or the locale, should  
be displayed in order to prompt further fund generation.  In addition, 
services provided should be simple, and extremely easy for the Beggar to 
reproduce, such that not too much work will have to be done in order to  
prompt the Funder into generosity. 
	Case Study #2, the Story Teller, shows that one of the most effective 
forms of begging come from appealing to the basic human need to feel  
compassion.  By telling his life's story, a disaster in the making, he is able 
to perfectly fit into this niche, and create an atmosphere in which the Funder 
can all but give the beggar his entire wallet, else he will feel bad about not 
having helped the Beggar for the rest of the day.  This technique is excellent 
in that a given story is not hard to generate, and within a few nights, it can 
be memorized such that it will sound completely natural, and can be very  
effectively told in order to correctly fool the Funder into granting the very 
funds which the Beggar hopes to receive.  To further enhance this method, the 
Beggar may utilize Dirt, Grime, and Oil in order to soil his clothes and self, 
presenting a great atmosphere of need about him, causing the Funder to feel  
that without funds, the Beggar will fail to survive.  Very few possible 
Funders want to feel as though they have allowed someone to die because of 
their lack of generosity. 
	Case Study #4 is by far the most unskilled form shown within the Case 
Studies.  However, it shows that by using small monetary values in one's  
technique, one can appeal to Funders who would previously not have been so 
generous to the Beggar.  It is very important, however, that one not mix up  
the techniques presented in Study #4, and those presented in Studies #1 and  
#3. The prime difference in these solutions is that under Cases #1 and #3, 
a service is offered, and there is a necessity for showing that some service 
has already been granted (however, not too much), by allowing the Funder to 
see a certain amount of income.  Under Case Study #4, if income is shown to 
the Funder, the Funder will surely feel that he need not continue the income 
flow of the Beggar, thus eliminating himself from the Funder/Beggar chain.  
By not showing any funds, or furthermore, by stating that absolutely no funds 
exist, and that he has been very unlucky, the Beggar using Case Study #4 to 
his benefit can convince the Funder that he is absolutely necessary to the  
short-term livelihood of the Beggar.  This, of course, presents an opening, 
as the Funder is only granting a very small amount of money to the Beggar,  
which gives him the feeling that he is helping someone, without having to 
manipulate him much, as well as giving him the feeling that he is the only 
one who can help the Beggar, making him even more susceptible to giving  
funds to the Beggar. 
	Certain methods of different Case Studies can be intermixed within  
others, but sometimes this should not be done in order to correctly manipulate 
the Funder for maximum Funding.  For instance, Case Study #4 can very easily 
be intermixed with Case Study #2, in that the wearing of soiled garments can 
aid in the begging process of both.  However, Case Study #4 and Case Study #3 
should not be intermingled, in that no funds should be shown to the Funder  
when using Case Study #4. Case Studies #2 and #3, also, should not be used  
as one.  This mainly relates to the clothing used, as in Case Study #2, 
grungy clothes help the cause, yet in Case Study #3, in order to gain the 
trust of possible Funders, clean, city-worker-type clothes will be much  
more acceptable. By using one's common sense, it is determinable which  
methods should be used under a given situation. 
 
Conclusions: 
 
	By using one's begging skills, great deals of income can be generated, 
if needed; or, if needed, only small amounts can be gained.  Whatever one's 
needs, whatever one's situation, begging can be used. 
 
	I'd like to thank all the Beggars who I was able to analyze in order 
to aid in the breakdown of begging technique, with a special thanks to David, 
who's begging gave me inspiration to write this guide. 
 
 
			* 
		    MoRP/HEuS 
			* 
		    iN_EFFECT 
 
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