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=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  = 
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                          Loki's BBS Guide 1.3 
                          -------------------- 
                   
     Written/Typed by Loki. Inspired by Mel North's BBS Etiquette,  
                         whoever the fuck he is. 
 
           Sysops have my permission to post this on their boards  
                   as long as they follow these rules: 
            As long as they leave the integrity intact, they may  
             substitute fartknocker for shit (the noun), heck 
             for fuck, buttwipe for asshole, farting for fucking, 
             galldarnit for goddamnit, etc.  
     
    These are some general rules that, were they followed, would for  
       the most part make bbsing life much easier.  I've developed  
       these from general observations, experience, and from friends' 
       personal experiences.  I've also made a few points in here on 
       the bbsing community as well, or at least those members who are 
       assholes.  If I offend anybody, I can be reached at the Immortal 
       Hate BBS in Lubbock or a few sellect boards in Houston, Montreal,  
       and Berlin.  I welcome replies and if they are intelligent or at 
       least make a good point or argument for or against what I have 
       said then they will be considered for BBS Guide 1.942. 
       This seems quite offensive but I'm writing it for a college/high 
       school crowd.  I'm dead serious about most of it. It's meant to  
       be humorous but also is a critique of BBS society.  You may even 
       see yourself in there.  Some of it may seem to be a contradiction 
       but read it all first and then think about it. 
       (Maybe Boards could start asking for my seal of approval <G>) 
     
 
                           Hang-Ups/Dropped Carrier 
                           ------------------------ 
 
    If somebody drops carrier on a board, what's the big deal?  Some 
       Sysops have said they will delete users who do it.  Granted, 
       it does appear rude, but it could be accidental.  On BBS's where 
       the board posts your name if you drop carrier, I like to drop 
       carrier just to have it post my name and let people know I'm still 
       alive.  Perhaps it is rude, but this is the 90's.  If your board/ 
       computer crashes because somebody drops carrier then perhaps it's 
       time you get a clue and change your software or computer.  Back in  
       the 80's with the Commie 64's, TI's, and Apples that may have been  
       a genuine problem, but most software can take care of itself now. 
 
                                Posting 
                                ------- 
 
    Don't post stupid.  If I see some little shit saying "please reply to 
       me or leave me e-mail", well he's gonna be crying after he reads 
       what I send him. 
     
    Correlation : Post intelligent.  Try to use decent grammar and spelling. 
    Correlation : Don't reply to something that's over 2 weeks old unless 
                  it's really important or you've been gone. 
    Correlation : Don't use "ph" in place of the "f" unless you know where  
                  the "ph" came from.   
     
    Don't post on a public domain BBS looking for the newest "warez".  You  
       are making it obvious to the world what your true intentions are, 
       the SysOp may do something about it, and it makes you look like a 
       leech.  Plus it may add your name to a list somewhere. 
 
    Don't have the same message bases that everybody else has.  Every board 
       does not need a sports base, a car base, plus 20 other bases. 
       There are BBS's that are dedicated to nothing but Sports, etc. 
          Bases necessary to a BBS: 
               SysOp/System Announcements 
               General Messages 
          Bases that make a nice addition 
               New Users to the BBS 
               Debate 
               BBS Adds 
               Bases dealing with popular online games that are present 
                     and are played actively on the board. 
               Anonymous 
        After that, be creative, see how your board runs, poll the users 
        and then add bases, or add bases that fit into your central theme 
        if you have one.  If you have the same bases everybody else has, 
        then the same shit gets posted by the same users. 
 
    There are really only two types of boards that should have a no-swearing 
        policy: 
                  Religion-oriented 
                  Family boards 
        If people are offended by other people's use of words, then don't  
        call.  Somebody telling somebody else what they can't say in the 
        form of language content is censorship.  The only limit is when 
        people are targeting somebody specifically and abusing their  
        privilege, and they are that indeed, of using the BBS.  SysOp's 
        should be clear up front and have a disclaimer saying there are 
        children or women(pretty rare on that one) present or that they 
        are religious oriented.  There are plenty of boards without bans 
        on speech out there. 
 
    If a board goes high speed (above 2400) then chances are they are 
       going to be dealing in only files or smaller message bases.  Most 
       good message/text boards are at 2400 because that's all that's 
       needed.  If a board has a lot of files and LD (Long Distance) 
       callers then it is worth the extra bucks.  If not, then 2400 is  
       fine and dandy as most people I know can't type that fast anyway. 
       There are still many fine message boards at high speed, but it's 
       not necessary to have high speed for a good bbs. 
     
    Correlation : One good hs board with messages is of course, the hq for  
                  this series of text files. 
    Correlation : The faster the modem, the more files transferred, the 
                  less messages posted. 
 
    ANSI : It sucks when abused.  If there is a lot of ANSI present, make 
       a base for it.  Just because somebody thinks they're cool because  
       they mastered The Draw 4.x doesn't mean regular users need shit  
       scrolling all over their screen and fucking with their color.  All 
       it does in regular bases is slow people down.  It gets old.  If done 
       properly it can be impressive, but I don't want flashing red all 
       over my screen at 3 in the morning. 
 
    Ragwars/Arguments : Get a life.  Just because somebody disagrees with 
       you doesn't mean you have to get all pissed off and say you have 
       a blackbelt or a gun and know where somebody lives and are gonna 
       kick their ass/kill them.  Grow the fuck up.  Just because you were 
       wrong or think you have a better system doesn't mean you have to 
       get all riled up over something.  I get tired of logging on to a  
       system and see people slamming each other back and forth over  
       something trivial like which game was better or who is a better  
       player or hacker or who is tougher.  It shows your immaturity when 
       you say your gonna have to kick someone's ass.  When it gets into 
       name calling, then it's obvious your really wrong or very insecure 
       and your dispute is lost.  Just because you have a handle and a phone 
       line between you and them doesn't mean you have to question their 
       sexuality or say you have a bigger one or get laid more or whatever. 
       I see this a lot in high school kids who for some reason still think 
       they're in jr high or they have to have their egos stroked and think 
       they are superior to others.   
     
    Correlation : The wonderful thing about BBS's is that everybody is 
                  equal and nobody needs to prove themselves.  All that's 
                  asked is decent posting and a few ul's now and then. 
                  If your running a 486dx-66 with a CD-ROM, a USR 16.8 Dual, 
                  with 12 megs of RAM and a GIG hard drive, so what? 
                  Somebody with an IBM 8088 and a 2400 and a 20 meg hard 
                  drive can be just as intelligent and contribute just as 
                  much to the bbsing community as you. 
 
                            SysOp/User Relations  
                            -------------------- 
    Don't chat unless it's really important, but if you do just wanna shoot 
       the bull, ask if he's busy.  If he is don't persist.  Don't ask  
       stupid questions about age, or the system, etc.  If you show intell- 
       igence, then it's alright.  I can recall some funny times sitting 
       at the keyboard chatting with a user and playing around with their 
       minds and souls. 
     
    Correlation : Don't ask the SysOp stupid questions.  Post them in a  
                  public place so everyone can ridicule you. 
    Correlation : There are newbies who don't know that much about bbsing. 
                  In that case, dl a BBS guide such as this and also dl a 
                  good acronym's list such as one of the 10 meg Jargon files 
                  off the internet (which is a whole `nother text file). 
                  btw: dl = download, BBS = Bulletin Board System,  
                       btw = by the way, SysOp = System Operator. 
                  Also, it helps a great deal to download a system help file. 
    Correlation : SysOps are there to keep the system going, and partially 
                  to help users on the board.  They do have jobs and lives 
                  outside of bbsing which means they can't be there to hold 
                  your hand every step of the way. 
    Correlation : If your gonna criticize a board, be creative, don't say 
                  "they suck".  Use examples.  Granted not all boards run 
                  TAG BBS or Renegade BBS, but cut other boards some slack. 
                  If you don't like a board, don't call.  The world is not 
                  gonna stop just because you tell some SysOp his board  
                  sucks the Big One and he doesn't have to change it to 
                  suit your needs.  His BBS and life go on without you. 
                  If you have a problem with a board, let the SysOp know 
                  in private and be reasonable in your explanation.  It 
                  doesn't need to be brought into the public. 
     
    If a board that has a loyal user base goes subscription, SysOp's  
       shouldn't require their faithful, long-time users to subscribe 
       because these people along with the SysOp made the board what it 
       is.  If they do require them to pay, at least make it really low, 
       more symbolic than anything and pass the expense along to new users. 
 
    If you want to piss a SysOp off real fast, log on as new, go straight 
       to the file section or BBS list.  While your at it, go to the message 
       base and cancel out all bases in your new scan.  Unless the BBS is 
       set up specifically for files or is really lame, spend a few minutes 
       in the message section at least.  Get a feel for the board. 
 
    SysOp's/CoSys's, don't abuse your privileges and change over to somebody 
       and then make them look bad and don't give out their info publicly. 
       If somebody's a leech, don't post a log of what they dled publicly. 
       If they're a leech, chances are they won't see it anyway.  It's better 
       to reprimand in private or you'll get ragwars going (see above). 
       A leech is someone who dl's and doesn't ul.  If somebody stays within 
       established ratios then they are not a leech.  (See ratios in the  
       Files section below). 
 
                                 Handles 
                                 ------- 
    All BBS's should allow handles except : Boards where the theme encourages 
       real names, such as a politically themed boards or a business-oriented 
       board where bbsing and the exchanging of things such as GIF's, MOD's 
       and off-the-wall ideas are not the main issue.  In other words, boards 
       your parents might call, although there are a few of us out there,  
       including myself, who like a change of pace and setting every now and  
       then.  In some cases where there is a subscription involved, it's 
       acceptable depending on material available. 
     
    However, on 95% of the other boards, Handles should be welcome,  
       especially when there are message bases dealing with 101 ways to have 
       sex with Nazi Lesbian Hooker Eskimo's from Detroit and file bases 
       dealing with pygmy blonde women with 3 eyes.  Seriously, handles 
       are invaluable.  In many cases, people who are "hiding", which is 
       a bad choice of words, behind their handles are able to bring out 
       their real emotions, their real thoughts on subjects which they 
       might not even profess an interest in in the outside world.  If I 
       had to use my real name, or at least a variation of it, I for one, 
       would not be talking about the sexual habits of Nazi Lesbian Hookers. 
       Really, though, people who seem shy or anti-social or whatever in 
       everyday life can let out their true emotions, feelings, and what- 
       nots behind their handles.  I've met many of my friends thru the 
       boards, okay 98% of them, and to be honest I would have passed  
       most of them up on the street, in the classroom, or whatever as 
       being weird, loners, psycho-paths, boring, etc. had they not let 
       their real personality shine thru.  Of course, I come across as one 
       whom regular people would try to jail under the stalking laws or 
       perhaps as being one who someday, after constant harassment from 
       various friends, walks into the bottom of a dorm and opens up  
       with semi-automatic weapons.  Yes, I do have a subscription to  
       Soldier of Fortune, collect semi-automatic weapons, and hope to  
       work for the postal service someday, but because of the boards 
       my friends didn't find all of this out until after we had met in 
       person and I already knew where they lived. 
    Got off topic there..sorry. 
     
    Make your handle unique and creative and then stick with it.  I've had 
       mine for several years and see no reason to change.  I've used 
       what I call sub-handles, that is, handles that I use on boards 
       which I don't want people to know who I am, and where I can dl my  
       GIF's of blonde pygmies in peace and quiet.  I see people changing 
       handles more often than a lot of people change underwear.  It just 
       shows that they have an identity crisis, can't make a decision on 
       something (like a certain President Elvis), or that they keep  
       pissing SysOp's off and keep getting their names banned.  It's a 
       pain in the ass to keep up with them.  Also don't take your name 
       from a game that just came out, because everybody and their dog 
       does it.  The same goes for a movie.  The exceptions are that it's 
       obscure, Monty Python, or anti-social.  If I see one more "Little 
       Mermaid" or "Aladdin" out there I'm gonna punch a hole in my monitor. 
 
    Don't say your a veteran bbser or modemer unless one of the following  
       conditions is met: 
            #1  You've been doing it for more than 3-4 years. 
            #2  You've an extensive grasp of bbsing and are recognized 
                for it. 
            #3  You remember the days of the Commie 64, TI 99's, Apples 
                and PC Jr's and when 300 was good enough and 1200 was 
                kick ass and cost as much as a 14.4 today. 
            #4  You remember when 64k was a lot memory and to hack was 
                to code elegantly, not to destroy things. 
     
    Handles say a lot about a person.  Don't use "Pirate".  Nothing needs 
       to be said about that.  Don't use "Hack" or "Hacker" in your handle 
       unless you can back it up.  Don't use the handle of an expert/well- 
       known hacker/phreaker/pirate/bbser unless you are one of those.   
       Those kind of people are not the kind you want to screw with. 
       Don't use "ph" in place of the "f" unless you know where the "ph" 
       came from as mentioned earlier. 
     
    Correlation : Don't use "PigFucker" as a handle unless you do indeed 
       engage in sexual intercourse with pigs.  If it's a joke, it's funny 
       but watch it as you can get identified with it. 
    Correlation : Don't say your a programmer unless you can program in 
       something other than a variation of basic and you haven't spent 
       more than 2 days straight going thru a helluva lot of code looking 
       for a misplaced ";". 
     
    If you log onto a system and see that somebody else is using your handle 
       and that they used it first in town, then change.  There should be 
       only one person with a given handle at any one time in any one town. 
       It confuses people. 
 
    SysOp's shouldn't ask for a lot of info.  More than once I've seen people 
       give their real names and it comes back to haunt them.  If somebody 
       hacks a board, they have access to some potentially damaging stuff. 
       Same goes for other information.  I get bored seeing a list of callers 
       from the same town.  I'd kinda like seeing a little variety, and like 
       it when I see callers from Imaginary places or even other planets or 
       eras.  Same goes for real names.  Granted, "Anon E. Mouse" is stupid 
       but names like "I.P.Freely" or "Jack Me Off" or "Biggus Dickus" or 
       "Huge Erection", while juvenille in nature, are amusing.  Some SysOp's 
       are just outright paranoid about this stuff.  Some may have reason to 
       require real names such as boards that don't use handles, but others 
       who think they need real info, if they need it bad enough then they 
       perhaps should get to know their users personally.  Personally, I think 
       a first name, a valid phone # where they can be reached, and a handle 
       are all that are needed. 
     
    Correlation : Second Accounts. Don't get one unless it's run by a busi- 
                  ness or it's a subscription board and they have multiple  
                  lines and you are intent on dling every GIF of every  
                  mountain in the Yellowstone National Park or every scenery 
                  file for MS Flight Simulator 4.0(tm) they have on their  
                  CD-ROM.  Most fake accounts are easier to spot than users  
                  think.  A good SysOp can go through and look and logs and  
                  accounts and pick them out so save everybody a lot of time  
                  and effort and don't get second accounts unless deemed  
                  necessary or you don't want people knowing what you dl  
                  or ul. 
 
                                 Files 
                                 ----- 
    Oh boy.  I have a problem with the way files are handled by a lot 
       of SysOp's and a lot of users.  Here goes: 
 
    Don't upload pirated material to a pd (public domain) board and then 
       turn the SysOp into the Secret Service.  It may be the goddamn 
       funniest thing in the world and the look on the SysOp's face is 
       priceless and definitely a polariod(tm) moment and you may make 
       some needed cash by doing it, but pretty soon everybody is doing  
       it and it gets really old and pretty soon there are no boards left,  
       or at least boards with file bases. 
     
    Don't keep several versions of programs online.  I doubt most of us 
       need PkZip 1.01 or Scan v74 or ARJ v.98.  SysOp's should keep, at 
       most, the latest version and the next to latest version in case 
       the latest has bugs.  I don't like seeing half a dozen versions of 
       one program in one directory and I'm sure others don't. Plus it  
       wastes valuable space. 
     
    Correlation : It is alright sometimes to put up really old and obscure 
                  software, so that people can dl it and keep it for  
                  obscurity points and posterity's sake but thats it. 
 
    Don't advertise a ton of files and then keep 90% of them offline. 
       Don't advertise/post that you have 50 or a 100 megz of files and 
       then bitch about people dling all of the time.  If you didn't want 
       people to dl, then you shouldn't have advertised files.  Don't put 
       up a lot of files and only a few bases.  Trust me, it's not gonna 
       work and your board will turn into leech central. 
     
    Correlation : If I see a CD-ROM or 100 megz of GIF/MOD/Sound stuff, 
                  I'm there.  You bought the CD-ROM or filled the HD so 
                  live with it.  CD-ROMs are rare and so some people will 
                  call just because of that. 
 
    Don't advertise to be a hacker's or underground board.  If you post 
       publicly about it then your either not a hardcore underground type 
       or you receive a paycheck from Uncle Sam.  Just because you have 
       the Anarchist's Cookbook, which by now is probably available on a  
       shareware CD-ROM, doesn't make you some kind of badass.  If, under 
       general user security levels, users have access to Anarchy texts,  
       your not an underground board, or you specialize in it.  Anarchy  
       texts are not that big of a thing as most of them are legal under 
       freedom of the press.  And if your stupid enough to make that stuff 
       like bombs in your own home and you don't have a background in  
       chemistry then you deserve to blow your fingers off and your pet 
       through the wall.   
     
    Correlation : Files don't make the board, attitude and the SysOp do. 
 
    Time Limits : If you bitch about users getting on and spending all of  
       their time in the file base, then lower their time.  If you give 
       somebody 2 hours of access a day, then your saying in effect they 
       have 2 hours of dl/ul time if they want... 
 
    Don't have shitty files.  Nobody wants monochrome/CGA stuff.  I don't 
       think any of us wants 15 different databases or disk catalogue  
       programs.  Get rid of games that are under 100k.  SysOps should  
       ensure that they or their Co-Sys's make sure that files are useful, 
       up-to-date, and that there are not duplicates uled under different 
       names.  Nothing is more aggravating than dling for an hour or so and 
       finding out you already have that file under the proper name. 
 
    Don't ul files that you renamed.  That's plain fucking rude as mentioned 
       above.  Also, label your ul's with descriptions that make sense 
       and aren't a bunch of acronyms.  Also don't ul obsolete software 
       unless the board has strict ratios. 
 
    Don't ul cheesey GIF's (i.e. bad scans or blurry), unless there is a  
       file area specifically for a collection of bad scans.  Don't ul 
       GIF's below 256 color unless they are really cool, Nagels, Cartoons, 
       Animations, etc.  Don't ul GIF's that saw their hayday back in the 
       80's.  Don't ul crappy sound files that are all distorted.  Upload  
       quality stuff.   
     
    Correlation : Don't ul a file until you think about whether or not you'd 
       want to dl it in the first place unless the board has strict ratios 
       and then ul whatever the hell you want to. 
 
    Ratios : Now we come to something very important.  Ratios.  They defeat 
       the purpose of quality files.  When a SysOp puts a strict ratio, i.e 
       less than 7-10 dl's per ul, they are in effect saying : "Upload  
       whatever you have in your directory that's handy.  I don't care if 
       it's shit or not.  Just give me files."  I have seen boards where  
       there is less than 5 dl's to every 1 ul, and they have the shittiest 
       files.  The boards with the best file bases I have seen, have either 
       no ratios or ratios well above 10-1 dl/ul.  The reason being that 
       people will ul things they find worthy and not something to beat the  
       ratio.  I find that I ul more to these types of boards simply for the 
       fact that there is no pressure to ul and therefore I only ul that  
       which I think others would dl and enjoy.  I have no problem uling at 
       all, but when there is a strict ratio and I run into it, whether its 
       ul/dl numbers or size uled/dled, I find myself hitting ALT-J, dropping 
       to DOS and zipping up whatever sound file is handy in my soundblaster 
       directory or looking for a gif to ul.  I don't care what it is as long 
       as I can ul it.  If somebody dl's all of the time and doesn't ul, then 
       penalize them, not the majority of us who are good users and ul without 
       being told.   
     
    Correlation : If you have shitty ratios, then be prepared for my shitty  
                  files. 
    The Internet doesn't have any ratios and for just a few minutes longer  
       a lot of us can get the most up-to-date software there is plus we  
       can find file bases that most people can't imagine.  Put strict  
       ratios up and you probably won't be seeing us ul a lot of those files 
       as we'll ul whatever is zipped or has a GIF extension in our  
       directories. 
 
                                 Closing 
                                 ------- 
 
    I'd like to thank Dr. Angelo & Admiral Jabba (for that one little  
       example about logs), Damanstian, Max Headroom, OverDriver (of course) 
       for providing examples plus the rest of the guys at F.U.C.K. 
       I'd like to also thank my Chia Pet & Billy Idol's Cyber Punk CD.  
    Special thanks  go to my binoculars, my parents for giving me a second  
       floor room and for having a camcorder with a zoom lens, and my  
       neighbors who leave the curtains of their bedroom open, for many  
       enjoyable hours.   
    Btw: I'm thinking of selling several adult videos (amateur action).   
       They are a bit blurry and the lighting isn't too hot but I will vouch 
       for their being amateur. 
    Oh yeah, lest I forget, thanks to all of the boards and users out there 
       who gave me such a rich collection of bad bbsing to use here. 
 
                                 loki(r) 
 
       Please Direct comments/questions about this file to me on the  
       Immortal Hate BBS listed below. 
 
       For the curious : Typed in MS-DOS 6.0 Editor 
                         Spellchecked with EzSpell 1.0 
                         Started : 10:30pm, July 20, 1993 
                         Ended   : 5:45am, July 21, 1993 
 
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