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=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  = 
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                               Small Town Rant          
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        I can safely say that living in a small town sucks.  I can say this  
because I've lived in several over the course of my life.  Bah.  What I've  
found is that all small towns have a few things in common that make them 
the vacuos hell that they are.   
        First all really bad small towns are at least twenty miles from  
the nearest big city where some form of entertainment is.  The town I live  
in now is Lexington.  I live twenty-five miles from the nearest large city  
which is Columbia.  The last small town I lived in was thirty miles from the  
nearest big city.  I can't seem to escape.  Yea.   
        Another thing about small towns is that they are filled with people 
that look like extras from western movies.  They all look alike.  If you have 
ever lived in a tiny little hell like this one you know what I mean.  The  
ones I am talking about drive in pick-up trucks, have the sleeves ripped off  
of their t-shirts, and look like they shave every three days or so.  They  
drive around with one arm out of the pick-up looking like they enjoy a good 
family evening around the bug zapper watching moths die. 
        The Dead Milkmen summed it up quite well in the song "Tiny Town". 
        "This is a tiny town, and we don't want you around."   The looks  
I get driving around with a Texas plate in South Carolina are great.  I can  
just see the cog wheels spinning in their heads.  "Texas?  Must be a Yankee." 
"Big stereo system in his car?  I bet he deals drugs and hangs out with those 
negros."  Predjudice is just a little worse the farther south one goes.  Yet 
another one of those thigs that small towns share. 
        Small towns have nothing to do.  A truism that shall rank with some of  
the great sayings of Eastern philosophers.  To do anything here I have to  
drive for twenty minutes, and spend gas I can't afford.  A quick list of what 
to do in town without driving too far:  Go to the Waffle House.  That's it. 
Going to the Waffle House to watch a bunch of people who look like their 
brother was their father sit around and talk about things that suck. "I hate 
things that suck" to quote Beavis and Butthead. 
        But that's enough of my petty rants against little pissant towns.   
I just hope I can keep some reader of this file from moving to a small town  
and thinking that the scenery will soothe his or her nerves.  And if you live 
in a small town, run.  Run as fast as you can.  Find the big cities.  Go to  
the places of glass and chrome and steel my son.  Go in peace. 
 
-fastjack 
 
 
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