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              + doomed to obscurity + extra valuable info file +

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                          S  s"     $   .$ss"       $s
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                + "you are the son of a mother fucker" - ct +

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 + your basic disclaimer nonsense

        let's make this quick and painless, eh?

        disclaimers.  nobody likes 'em, but they gotta be done.  you 
 understand?  good.  now, shut up and listen.

        offended by anything published in dto?  yeah?  well, tough nookies.
 we have the right to say whatever the fuck we want and you pantywaists can't
 do a flippin' thing about it.  i laugh in your face, you putrid slimeball.
 
        if you don't like what you're readin' - stop readin' it.  it's that
 simple.
 
        however, i do encourage hate-mail.  i gobble it up.  i love it.  so,
 if you really are offended by anything you've read in dto, and feel the need
 to vent - drop me a line.  i'm there for you, baby.  24/7.

        blow your hand off reading anything published in dto?  yeah?  well,
 you're pretty fuckin' stupid since we don't publish any anarkee bullshit.
 anywho, if you happen to lose an appendage due to something you've read in
 our nice little family-fun 'zine, it's not our fault.  not one bit.  you 
 know why?  because it's all, say it with me, for informational purposes 
 only.  you blow off an ass-cheek messing with a recipe we gave you?  you
 have nobody to blame but yourself.  don't come cryin' to us expecting us to
 buy you a new ass, boy.  we'll just laugh at you and possibly kick you a few
 times.

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 + stuff for writers

        hey, you wanna write for dto?  faboo.  i'm thrilled.

        there are a few things you should know before you send your 
 submissions up to us, though.  consequently, here they are ;

        1) all submissions become property of doomed to obscurity 
 publications.  we can't give your shit back.  although i don't know why the
 hell you wouldn't have a copy laying around or could just cut it out of the
 'zine yourself, everyone else has that in their writer guidelines, so i 
 guess we should, too.  it makes me feel more 'zine-ish.  oh yes.

        2) all submissions may be subjected to my (bF) rigorous editing
 procedures.  this includes screwin' around with the format, justification,
 minor grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and makin' everything lower  
 case.  if the mistakes are purposely thrown into the article, make sure you
 let me know.  got me, slick?  good.  now, submit away!

        3) everyone who submits gets a free cookie (while supplies last).
        
        oh, wait a minute.  i'm not done, yet.

        stuff we don't accept 'round these parts ;

        a) poetry.  unless you're gumby, we don't give a rat's fuzzy ass 
 about your poetry.  and, believe me, rats sure do have fuzzy asses!
        
        seriously, don't waste my time with your poetic bullshit.  send it to
 someone who cares.  like - angst, revolt, or some similar horse hooey.

        b) sexually explicit stories.  i'm sure i don't have to explain this
 one.  just keep it to yourself and keep it in your pants.

        i think that's it.  eh-yup.  i'm pretty sure it is.

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 + stuff for people who want "distro. sites"

        we don't give 'em out.  'nuff said.  if you seriously want the zero
 day warez _that_ badly, just grab 'em off paste or peep the dto ftp site.
 (all listed at the end of this here file, baby.)

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 + the doomed to obscurity staff

        eh.  this is a rather large list, but i'm sure it interests 
 _somebody_ out there.

        one of the president guys & head editor - black francis
        another one of them president guys & submissions director - mogel
        yet another one of them president-type guys - eerie
        finally, the last of the president-type guys - murmur

        life is swell.

        writers include (we love these guys.  we really do!) - gumby, black
 francis, shadow tao, mogel, murmur, dead cheese, lobo, acid warlock, 
 eightball, fake scorpion, eerie, whoops, maynard, james hetfield, morph,
 & im2k.
 
        without these guys, like, we wouldn't have any writers.  yeah.

        that's from the heart, too.

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 + correspondence, sites, & miscellaneous wacky info

        correspondence, yay!

        general dto i-net mailing address for all your feedback, submission,
 and cybersex needs ;
        
        dto@tnce.com

        the many i-net address of black francis 'cause he's supercool ;
        
        francis@tnce.com,
        francis@lavadome.jetbbs.com

        mogel mogel, he's our man!  mail 'em.  he's lonely ;
        
        mpg4681@rit.edu,
        mogel@phantom.com.

        i'm sure eerie and murmur have addresses, too, but i'm just to gosh
 darn lazy to ask 'em.  um.  mail 'em up to me, fellahs!

        i'm you're looking to contact a certain writer, just send whatever up
 to one of those address and we'll pass the buck!

        peep the goods over at paste.  dto whq.  zero day t-files.
        paste - 215-862-5894.

        if you're too cheap to pay long distance fees, there's a nice little
 guest account you can use to cut down on those pesky phone bills.
        
        too cheap even for a guest account?

        holy fuck, you're a cheap bastard.

        peep the phat doomed to obscurity ftp site!
        
        ftp.fc.net - pub/deadkat/humor/dto

        it's fun for the whole family.

        the homepage will be up shortly.  i suppose.  i never was a big 
 homepage fan, but, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, i suppose.

        check that ass later.

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+

  this doomed to obscurity info has been brought to you by the letters p, q,
                             and the number five.
    for the latest in dto propaganda, call dto whq - paste - @ 215-862-5894
         all correspondence should be directed towards - dto@tnce.com

       d2o nfo / all rights reserved - 1995 - doomed to obscurity press

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