MKII FAL (Fairly Asinine Lies)

That's right; it's here.  If you heard something from the ten-
year-old standing by the machine, look for it in here.  If you
see it, it's not real.  What could be easier?  And so, we begin. 
Things that are NOT real:

   VERSIONS ABOVE 3.1:
     Not legally, anyhow.

   FIVE/ELEVEN/TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-ONE FATALITIES PER CHARACTER:
     Three for Shang, two for the rest.

   LIU KANG'S TIGER:
     Liu, and everyone else, has no animality.  This
     includes him turning into a tiger / white horse.

   LIU KANG'S RED DRAGON:
     Liu can not turn into a red dragon and burn the
     opponent at fatality time.  The two guys in the
     background of the pit, who appear regularly throughout
     this list, do not mean squat as far as anyone knows. 
     As a footnote, it looks like this is from a fatality in
     the Game Gear version of MKII.

   LIU'S GREEN DRAGON VOMIT:
     Also, Liu can not cough up the top half of the opponent
     after swallowing him.

   LIU KANG'S GIGUNDO FIREBALL:
     D,D,F,D,F,B,DB,B,HP will not do a big fireball
     fatality.

   KUNG LAO'S HEAD BOP FATALITY:
     D,D,B,D,U,U,HP + HK + Block will not punch your
     opponent on the head. (With Kung's two real finishing
     moves being wicked already, why would you ever do
     something weak like this?)

   A WAY TO DO CAGE'S RED SHADOW KICK:
     Rumors here include connecting repeatedly with normal
     shadow kicks and, alternately, not using shadow kicks
     for a while, thus "storing up" his shadow kick energy. 
     Neither of these is true, because I've seen a red kick
     done at the very beginning of a match.  Accelerated
     machines do not count.

   CAGE'S FLAMING SHADOW KICK:
     Cage cannot set you on fire with a shadow kick.

   CAGE'S SUPER-RACK FATALITY:
     So far, Cage cannot kick someone in the crotch and have
     their insides fall out for a fatality.

   CAGE'S STOMACH PUNCH FATALITY:
     D,D,D,F,F,D,DF,F,HP will not punch a hole through your
     opponent's stomach.

   REPTILE GOES SUBURBAN:
     This is that bizarre rumor that, for a fatality, you
     can make Reptile run off screen and he comes back on a
     riding mower, and a little Reptile bites off your
     opponent's head.  Um, I doubt it.

   REPTILE'S MELTING FATALITY:
     F,F,D,D,B,DF,F,HK will not melt your opponent with
     spit.

   MAKE IT SNOW WITH SUB-ZERO:
     People taking Sub-Zero can not make it snow before the
     match.

   SZ GRINS AND BEARS IT:
     Subbie can also not turn into a polar bear and bite off
     the opponent's head (No, not even the coveted
     F,F,D,D,F,F,HP.)

   POT OF GOLD AT SHANG TSUNG'S FRIENDSHIP:
     This rumor consists of hitting HK and LK while Shang is
     making his rainbow, and a pot of gold will appear next
     to him.  Tried it; doesn't work.

   SHANG AS A TIGER:
     Shang can not turn into a tiger for a fatality.

   SHANG AS SHAO KAHN:
     Shang can't, yet, turn into Shao Kahn for a fatality.

   SHANG AS A GARBAGE TRUCK:
     Shang Tsung can not morph into a garbage truck for a
     fatality.

   HANG THEM ON THE HOOKS AT THE DEAD POOL WITH JAX:
     Usually this rumor involves Jax, but some say it works
     with anyone.  It says that, for a fatality, you can
     hang them on the hooks and chains in the dead pool. 
     Doubtful.

   JAX ANIMALITY:
     Jax can not turn into a grizzly and bite off the
     opponent's head.

   MILEENA'S NUDALITY:
     With all the ten-year-olds that play this thing?  Shah
     right.

   MILEENA'S PHOENIX:
     Mileena can not turn into a phoenix and roast the
     opponent for a fatality.

   BARAKA AKA DIVIZIO'S KANO TRIBUTE/FATALITY:
     D,F,B,D,B,HK + LK will not rip out your opponent's
     heart with Baraka.

   HELL WITH SCORPION:
     B,B,B,F,F,F,B,B,B,D,B,HK or D,D,D,B,B,D,DF,F,LK will
     NOT send your opponent to hell.

   BURN DOWN THE LIVING FOREST WITH SCORPION:
     Double flawless, "toasty" fatality in the right-hand
     corner of the living forest, and the place is torched? 
     Sorry.

   SCORPION SQUARED:
     Scorpion can not turn into a scorpion for an animality.

   RAIDEN'S THUNDER FATALITY:
     B,F,D,D,F,D,DB,B,HP does not kill your opponent with
     thunder. (How?  Blowing out their eardrums?)

   RAIDEN'S BEAM OF LIGHT:
     F,F,F,B,B,D,DB,B,LK doesn't make a beam of light come
     suck up your opponent.

   ANIMALITIES:
     I know I included these above, but I would like to
     reinforce it by saying "NO!"

   KANO:
     The oldest form of this rumor is that if you do his old
     fatality (that is, BL (B,DB,D,DF,F), HP) while you're
     Tsung, you'll morph into Kano.  That is WRONG.  Also, a
     rumor went around in this very forum not too long ago
     that, if you're Shang and do U,UF,F,DF,D + HP, then
     you'll turn into Kano.  This is also wrong, although if
     you can do it quickly enough, you WILL turn into
     Reptile. (I admit, that the first time I tried that and
     heard the morphing, I almost died of shock before I
     realized it was Reptile and not Kano.)  You can also
     NOT get to Kano by doing Baraka's impalement fatality
     right in front of him (on Shao's Arena).  Also no good
     is getting a double flawless on the first two rounds
     using only LK, and then doing a Dead Pool fatality. 
     This rumor said that Kano would throw open the doors on
     the left side of the bridge at the pool and fight you. 
     Plus, as far as I know, morphing into him six times in
     one round won't do it either.

   SONYA:
     There was a rumor that spread like a virus about her. 
     It said that if you beat Jade flawlessly with Kitana,
     and then picked Kitana again, and THEN got a double
     flawless on Shang and did a friendship between Shao
     Kahn's legs (!) then he would hit the ground with his
     scepter and Kitana would turn into Jade, and Sonya
     would be free, and you would be Sonya fighting Jade. 
     Wrong.  Nor can you get to Sonya by doing Jax's arm rip
     in front of her, or Shang's ear entry-explosion thing
     in front of her.

   KANO *AND* SONYA:
     People now say that if you do Jax's ground smash on
     Shao Kahn's level eight times, then Sonya and Kano are
     both freed.  Doesn't work in a two-player and I sure
     doubt if it'd be different on a solo.

   GORO:
     False Shang morphs include B,B,B,F,F,B,B,HP and
     B,B,F,F,B,B,B,HP (these will Flaming Skull).  Also
     F,F,B,F,F,F,HP and F,F,F,B,F,F,HP.

   SUB-ZERO THE FIRST:
     As far as we know, the original Sub-Zero is STILL DEAD. 
     There is not a way to fight him or play as him.

   ERMAC:
     Ermac stands for "Error Macro", a programming term, not
     for another Scorpion clone, or for the guys in the back
     of the pit, or "Eliminate Raiden, Mileena, And Cage".

   INFERNO/FIRE/FLAME:
     Just who is the burning guy in the back of the pit? 
     Not a fightable character, that's for sure.  Not EVEN
     if you beat your opponent flawlessly on the Pit II
     using only HK (or HP) and knock them off from the exact
     center.  Neither will beating Smoke double flawlessly
     with only HP accomplish it. (You just TRY beating Smoke
     double flawlessly with only HP...)

   IRATA:
     "Atari" backwards, nothing more.

   SHAWN:
     "Shawn Attacks," listed on the audit screen, are a type
     of attack that could crash the machine.  The
     programmers put that on the audit screen to keep track
     of how many times that occurred, so they could phase
     them out while it was in development.  They're called
     "Shawn Attacks" because they were discovered by Shawn
     Liptak, the same as the hidden guy in NBA Jam.  Shawn
     is NOT the green figure OR the burning guy in the back
     of the Pit, and you can NOT fight him.

   EMERALD:
     Beating Jade double flawlessly using only LK will not
     get you to someone named Emerald.

   SHOKAKU LAO:
     This one was given to me by JamGod, who got this sheet
     from a guy in Hawaii (I think...something like that.)
     Anyhow, it says that if you get a double flawless
     fatality right in front of the Portal, you will meet a
     hidden character named Shokaku Lao in the High Priest's
     Chamber, wherever THAT is.  You are challenged to fight
     him and pass the "Test Your Might" test, and if you
     win, he tells you how to beat:

   SHIRASTO:
     To get to this guy, you had to do two pit fatalities
     flawlessly without using Block.  You then met him,
     fought him, and, if you won, got the:

   FLAMEBOLT SPELL:
     F,F,HP + LP, which shot a huge, very damaging fireball
     with any character, and of course you would need it,
     because right after Shirasto, you skipped Kintaro and
     Shang Tsung and went right to the pit of lava at the
     bottom of the mountain, where you fought:

   THE REAL, EVIL GOD:
     Jeez.  If you beat this guy in the lava at the bottom
     of the mountain after defeating Shokaku Lao and
     Shirasto and mastering the flamebolt spell, then you
     got to see an ending for every character and got your
     initials in the Hall of Mortals.  The fact that the guy
     who made up these last four or five items lives in
     Hawaii is one reason Hawaii scares me.

   SHANG'S SORCERERS:
     The purple-robed guys in the background of the Portal
     and Sky Palace.  You CAN'T fight them.

   OUTWORLD CASTLE:
     Kitana's father's castle is not used as a fight scene.

   PORTAL FATALITIES:
     A way has not been found to knock someone's head into
     the portal.

   ARMORY FATALITIES:
     A way has not been found to pick up the weapons in the
     armory and hack someone to death with them.

   TOWER FATALITIES:
     A way has not been found to throw someone out the
     window.

   LIVING FOREST FATALITIES:
     Yes, I agree that that tree looks suspicious, but there
     is NO known way to throw or torpedo someone into it. 
     Speaking of which:

   THE KEEBLER ELVES:
     Good LORD!  Are people actually THIS bored, that they
     have to come up with rumors about fighting the f*****g
     Keebler Elves?  If you figure out some way to throw
     your opponent into that tree, the Elves will NOT come
     out and fight you, I PERSONALLY guarantee.

   ELVIS:
     Definitely not.

   BARNEY:
     His fatality is hugging you, and his moves are singing
     his song and blowing kisses?  To steal a quote from
     someone's library file, "Ha ha ha...NO."

   BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD:
     You can not fight these two, nor can you turn your
     opponent into one of them at fatality time.

   POPEYE:
     No.

   THE SIMPSONS:
.No.

   THE AMERICAN GLADIATORS:
     No.

   SEX CHANGEALITIES:
     No.

   REALITIES/HYPER FATALITIES/GRUDGEALITIES/RUMORALITIES:
     What on Earth are these supposed to be?

   REVERSALS:
     Hitting D+HP while you're stunned and waiting to be
     fatalitied will not uppercut your opponent.

   THE MOUNTAIN:
     To the right of the sixth or seventh picture up the
     mountain on the battle plan, there is an oddly formed
     space that someone theorized might be another path up
     the mountain.  Huh-uh.

Well, I hope this is enough for you.  There's plenty more where
that came from.  If I missed anything, EMail me at 76260,216. 
Thanks!

    KRALOR
