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                                             (ASCii By AD!) 
 
                            Damned Fucking Shit 
 
                                Issue #33 
                     Title: The Game 
                     Date: 6/7/94 
                     By: Access Denied 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
                            The Game 
 
     Dust flew across his face.  He gazed out upon the dead world 
that he once called home.  Looking across the horizon he saw a 
speck of light.  His eyes ventured downward and he saw the 
skeletons lying at his feet.  He kicked at the skull of one and it 
rolled into the deep chasm a few meters in front of him.  Was this 
the world he once called home?  It couldn't be.  But in his heart 
he knew it was.  He also knew that the terror that had befallen 
this world was created by one person. 
     The skull rattled down the chasm.  It made thumping noises as 
it bounced off the walls.  Hours passed and the sound finally died 
away.  The speck of light was bigger now.  It was coming closer. 
     Light encompassed him.  It surrounded him like the life of 
something he once knew but had lost.  It was him.  He knew it to be 
true because it had told him so.  Yet, he was afraid.  This light 
wasn't alive, yet it was a living being.  Fear overcame him and he 
ran.  Ran for his life.  It was too late.  The light was him and 
they could never be separated.  He then realized what he really 
was. 
     He stood up.  He journeyed across the destroyed landscape,  
wandering through piles of dust and bones.  He was the light.  The 
light was him.  It had always been this way.  In his wandering he 
came to many conclusions, all irrelevant.  He saw even closer into 
himself.  Darkness encompassed him and he wept.  Not a tear for the 
world that he had destroyed, but a tear for the time he had wasted 
when he knew what he really was, that time being his entire life, 
everything before that, and everything after. 
     So he had destroyed a world.  What did he care?  He knew what 
he was and now no one could stop him.  No one ever could stop him.  
That was irony of the whole situation.  He stopped his pitiful 
weeping.  He lied down for an eternal slumber.  He could afford it.  
Time was nothing to him.  When he decided to wake up, everything 
would be the same.  Of course he would fix it.  That was part of 
the game.  The game never ended.  He was the game. 
     No!  It was too easy.  Nothing was that easy.  He wouldn't let 
it be that way.  Why was this happening to him?  He had done this 
forever.  It was his little game.  Why was it this easy?  There had 
to be a catch somewhere.  He wasn't so completely ignorant that he 
couldn't figure that out.  He painfully realized that there was 
someone else.  Someone more powerful.  Someone who controlled him.  
But why would this someone let him know about the someone?  It 
didn't work properly in his mind.  It couldn't work this way.  
Sleep never arrived for him.  In an instant he was up again.  Damn 
this intolerable sunshine. 
     That was it.  He wasn't the light.  It was so disgustingly 
obvious to him now.  He wasn't the light!  After all this time, he 
felt betrayed.  Why wasn't he the light?  It just didn't work out.  
The light was part of him.  It always was.  Always.  It always 
appeared on the horizon after he finished his game.  He didn't know 
why it was on the horizon.  He took it as a given: After the game 
is played, the light is there.  No questions asked.  It was just a 
part of the game.  But now he saw the light as it really was.  Some 
sort of a higher being.  But why did he know this?  Wouldn't a 
higher being not let the lower ones know about itself?  He would 
never let the lower ones know what he was, especially during the 
game.  It was impossible.  This light had to be stopped.  It had 
made a mistake.  It shouldn't have let him know.  Now it would be 
destroyed. 
     He faced the light.  It was now next to him, as if summoned.  
Yes, it must be more powerful than he, it knew when to come.  He 
gazed at it.  It wasn't just light this time.  All the times before 
it had been just been the light.  Now it had shape.  Nothing he 
could describe, but it had shape.  How he cursed it, so obviously 
evil.  One evil must always despise the other evil.  Those were his 
rules.  But this evil didn't hate.  It was beyond hate. 
     "Why do you appear to me now?" he addressed to it. 
     The light came closer. 
     "Why do you bother me?  What have I done to you?  You are the 
evil so I hate you." 
     "Don't you know what I am?" it said in a quiet voice. 
     "No I don't.  I don't care.  I don't have to care.  This is my 
game.  You don't exist.  The rules do not allow it." 
     "I exist." 
     "You don't." 
     "You still do not know who I am?" 
     "If I knew, I would destroy you." 
     "You shall now know.  I am you.  The game is over.  We are 
one." it said in a tone that calmed him. 
     Indeed the game was over.  They joined.  This was nothing new 
to him.  It had happened every time before, and it had happened 
every time after.  He was the supreme power and the game continued. 
 
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