Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (Part 1 of 3)
Date: 20 Apr 1996 03:01:01 -0500
Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and
.their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman.
.New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this
.FAQ list before posting.

The alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list
Version: 9.11 
Part 1 of 3


                     Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) 
                               for the 
                       alt.fan.letterman Newsgroup

.
From New York: You have new mail ... but someone STOLE it already ...

It's the FAQ LIST for David Letterman!

with

the A. F. of L. newsgroup ...

and

FAQ compiler Aaron Barnhart ...

plus

Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra ...

and now ...

the 30-year-old college senior who majored in cyberporn ...

DAAAAAAVID LLLLLETTERMAN !! 

.




                                   *   *   *                         

              Top Ten Questions Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup.

                                   *   *   *                         

10..Where can I write to get free tickets to the Late Show?

.ANSWER:  Send a postcard (no letters) with your name and 
.address to

..Tickets
..Late Show with David Letterman
..Ed Sullivan Theater
..1697 Broadway
..New York, NY  10019

.Requests are limited to 2 tickets.  Only one request per
.six months is allowed, and a response is not guaranteed.
.Ordinarily, requests for specific dates cannot be accommodated,
.but it doesn't hurt to ask.

9..Where can I find today's Top Ten List?

.ANSWER:  Send mail to topten@infomania.com and you'll receive
.it by autoreply mail.  Or check out the CBS Home Page at
.http:/www.cbs.com/ (that site has a complete and searchable
.archive of CBS Top Tens).

8..I understand there is a mailing list for the Top Tens.

.ANSWER:  There is.  To subscribe to the Top Ten List Server, 
.please send mail to listserv@listserv.clark.net with this
.message only:
..    SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name

7.      Hey!  When did they move the home office to Grand Rapids,
.Michigan?

.ANSWER:  Oh, look, Tom Smothers got e-mail.

6..Can I send e-mail to Dave?

.ANSWER:  Yes!  Lateshow@pipeline.com is the official mailbox
.of LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN and is manned by head
.researcher Jay Johnson.  Bear in mind that Jay spends a lot
.of time researching heads and that your mail may not get the
.most timely reply.  It will, however, be instantly
.acknowledged by a mailbox "robot" at the LATE SHOW.

5..I feel like I've just gone through the electronic version
.of being "pants-ed."

.ANSWER:  I guess you posted something to the alt.fan.letterman
.newsgroup you later wished you hadn't.  Fortunately, Stephen
.Pace has written a guide to safe and happy posting on the
.A. F. of L. and it's now part of the FAQ.  See part 3.

4..Are you going to answer my question or not, Mister Shiny-
.on-Top?

.ANSWER:  All right then: Dave was a guest during June on
.CNN's Larry King Live.  A caller asked if Dave would move
.the office to Grand Rapids, Michigan, and Dave said, "Done."

3..Do Letterman's people read this newsgroup?

.ANSWER:  A number of Worldwide Pants, Inc. staffers are
.online, but even those who aren't can get insight into the
.workings of the collective cyberbrain each week, when a
.thick packet of messages posted to this very newsgroup is
.circulated to staff at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

2..That Stephanie Miller -- do you think she can grab enough
.of that all-important 18-to-24 male demographic when her
.new late-night show debuts this fall?

.ANSWER:  With or without her top?


And the Number One Question Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup:

1..Does Dave use FTP in his gas tank?

.ANSWER:  Ha ha ha ha ha ... you must be one of those rabbis
.or dental hygienists Jay Leno pays to write his jokes.  If
.you're referring to the Letterman archive, it's accessible
.by FTP at ftp.mcs.net; complete details are at the end of
.part 3 of this FAQ list.


                                   *   *   *                         

              Questions People Ask About David Michael Letterman.

                                   *   *   *                         

Was Dave born to an actual American family?

.On April 12, 1947, to Joe and Dorothy Letterman.  Dave's dad
.was a florist and had what Dave calls a "big personality.  He
.was loud and liked to goof off and say funny things and do things
.to provoke you and get under your skin."  By contrast, Dave's
.mom, as we have all witnessed, "is the least demonstrative person
.in the world."  When Joe died 20 years ago, Dave said it was
."the worst time in my life."  Dave's mom was church secretary
.for many years at Second Presbyterian Church in Broad Ripple,
.Indiana, then a suburb of Indianapolis, which is where the
.Lettermans (including Dave's two sisters) grew up.

                                       *                             

I understand that during his growing-up years, Dave was pretty much,
and I'm quoting now, a "dork."

.Over 30 years ago, Dave worked during high school in the Atlas
.Super Market, an Indianapolis institution even then.  Caroline
.Latham's book _The David Letterman Story_ shows Dave standing 
.next to an enormous side of beef.  It is fair to say that in the
.photo Dave looked "like a 16-year-old serial killer."  In his 
.own defense, Dave has said, "I think there's something wrong if 
.high school is the greatest experience of your life."

                                       *                             

Where did Dave attend college? 

.Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana.  He was a TV/Radio
.major with a minor in speech, and pledged Sigma Chi.  Some of
.his frat brothers described Dave as very funny and self-confident.
.Dave has been generous with donations to the university and was
.largely responsible for the new Sigma Chi building at Ball State.
.In 1985 he endowed the David Letterman Scholarship there, an
.annual gift to a telecommunications major based solely on his
.or her creativity, *not* grades.

                                       *                             

Is Dave married?

.Dave was married to his college sweetheart Michelle Cook, but
.they divorced in 1977.  For several years he and Late Night head
.writer Merrill Markoe were engaged, but that fizzled and Merrill
.took off for California and a writing career.  Dave is presently
.in a relationship with former Late Night staffer Regina Lasko,
.who is also active in Dave's professional life (she's currently
.helping out on the Bonnie Hunt sitcom project).

                                       *                             
I heard that Dave used to be a weatherman in Indianapolis.

.From 1969 to 1974, as an intern and later a full-timer, Dave
.worked for his hometown Channel 13 as booth announcer, host of
.a Saturday morning kids' show and of the late-late movie, and
.yes, as weatherman.  Dave once reported that the city was being
.pelted with hail "the size of canned hams" and he also
.enthusiastically congratulated a tropical storm when it was
.upgraded to hurricane status.  Viewers of the _Late Show_ were
.recently treated to some old weather-report footage brought by
.Diane Sawyer, and here's what Dave said on the old report:
."Let's take a look at the cloud-cover photograph made earlier
.of the United States today and I think you'll see that once
.again we've fallen to the prey of political dirty dealings.
.And right now you can see what I'm talking about: the higher-
.ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making it
.one giant state!  Personally, I'm against it."

Didn't he have a radio show, too? 

.For about a year following his t.v. job.  It was at WNTS,
.back when it was all-talk.  This gig did not go so well
.for him.  "I was miscast because you have to have somebody
.who is fairly knowledgeable, fairly glib, possessing a
.natural interest in a number of topics," he later told an
.interviewer.  "That certainly is not me.  I don't care
.about politics. ... The Nixon-Watergate nonsense was the
.perfect example of something about which I knew nothing
.and couldn't have cared less."  So Dave got bored and
.started making stuff up.  According to Caroline Latham, he
.once told listeners that their beloved 230-foot-tall Soldiers
.and Sailors Monument "had been sold to the island of Guam,
.whose government planned to paint it green in honor of
.their national vegetable, the asparagus."  >>> It has been
.rumored that Dave got fired for his on-air remarks at
.Channel 13 or WNTS.  In fact, the only place he ever got
.yanked from was Ball State's pathetic ten-watt all-classical
.campus radio station.

                                       *                             

What else can you tell me about Dave's career in show bidness?

.As you may know, when Dave arrived in Hollywood in 1975 he found
.work as a comedy writer for Jimmie Walker and Paul Lynde, and
.as a player on Mary Tyler Moore's short-lived variety show.
.Because of his friendship with game-show legend Allen Ludden,
.Dave landed a guest-star spot on Dick Clark's _$10,000 Pyramid_
.and Ludden's own _Liars' Club_ (as a "guest celebrity").  In
.his career, Dave has also played a Werner Erhard-alike in an
.episode of _Mork and Mindy,_ reportedly played a sleazy Hollywood
.agent-type in a _Laverne & Shirley_ episode, made several
.appearances in _Open All Night_ (a t.v. show which lasted
.the season between the morning and late-night shows), and
.appeared in a murder mystery called _Fast Friends_ that
.starred Dick Shawn as a talk show host who drops dead and
.is replaced by Dave (later Shawn would actually keel over on
.stage and expire, and it would be a couple of minutes before
.the crowd realized he wasn't acting).

.More recently, Dave has made small appearances in the 1993
.sitcom vehicle he produced with Bonnie Hunt called _The
.Building_ (he and Bonnie will take another crack at this
.sitcom thing this fall on CBS, so look for a cameo or two
.from Dave), _The Larry Sanders Show_ (playing himself, he
.leaked to Larry that the 12:35 show on CBS would be given
.to Tom Snyder, which in fact turned out to be true), and
.the Adam Resnick-Chris Elliott feature film _Cabin Boy_
.(1994).

                                       *                             

I wonder why Dave doesn't do more movies?

.In fact, Dave was under contract to Touchstone Pictures,
.but has since extricated himself from it.  What happened
.was Michael Eisner, the chairman of Walt Disney Company,
.signed Letterman to *not* do movies for other companies.
."Eisner's kid had gotten ol' Dad to wrangle some tickets
.when Dave was in L.A.," recalls Bill Jones, who saw Eisner
.interviewed by Bob Costas on _Later._ "Eisner ... got
.excited when he got there and saw the huge lines and
.movie-premiere atmosphere.  He's thinking, this guy is like
.a movie star/rock star already. What could we do if we
.actually put him in the movies?  Delighted to find the next
.day that Dave had no movie obligations, they contacted
.Dave's people.  They were shocked to find that our TV Pal
.wanted no part of any movie deal. He was pretty sure he
.would suck, and told them so many times. ... Dave suggested
.they go look at his screen test for _Airplane!_ in the role
.eventually played by Robert Hays.  After the contract was
.signed, they finally did, and Eisner said he turned white
.as a ghost -- Dave really was that bad." Eventually, as
.Bill Carter reports, the contract was terminated and Disney's
.money more or less cheerfully refunded. 

.Dave named his movie production company Cardboard Shoe.
.Before that, he had a production company for his NBC morning
.show (1980) called Space Age Meat, and his 1981 HBO special
."Looking for Fun" was a Recreational Poultry production.
.Dave owns the rights to his current program on CBS, his
.morning show and HBO special, but not to _Late Night._

                                       *                             

What the hell is this thing Dave's got for Tom Snyder?

.Dave was a big _Tomorrow_ fan and has claimed to have seen
.between 80 and 85 percent of the shows (Merrill Markoe,
.his live-in at the time, says Dave "revered" Tom).  So
.although strictly speaking he is the man who displaced
.Snyder in 1982 -- but NBC accelerated Tom's demise by
.pairing him with Rona Barrett and turning the pleasant
.chatfest into the obnoxious _Tomorrow:  Coast to Coast_ --
.Letterman has always said publicly that Snyder ought to be
.on network television again.  Bill Jones notes that Dave
.has proven he is a man of his word:  "Much of the first
.ten Carson years of the Tonight Show were erased [1962-72,
.the New York years].  They were going to do same thing to
.the Tomorrow tapes after Snyder was gone, but they were
.stopped by -- David Letterman!  One of the reasons that
.... Tom described Dave as a true friend."

                                       *                             

I've heard it said that had Dave gotten the _Tonight_ gig, he would've
abandoned the _Late Night_ format entirely -- not just honed its rough
edges like he did on CBS -- and done a show very much like Carson's.

.The writer and infomaven Mark Evanier, who knows Leno,
.Letterman and many of the people who work for them, says,
."One of Dave's current writers even told me he was glad
.D.L. didn't get the gig because he thinks Dave would have
.dumped most of the staff, moved to Burbank and done something
.that more resembled a variety show."  Yet it's hard not to
.draw the conclusion based on a year and a half of _Late
.Show_ broadcasts that Dave *did* make a significant change
.by switching networks and venues.  He may not do a variety
.show but whatever that is he's doing, it ain't the old
._Late Night._  Merv Griffin once said that all talk show
.hosts must freshen up their format every few years.  He
.said he did it by switching networks and time slots, while
.Johnny Carson did it by firing his staff.  If those are
.the primary choices, then it seems Dave has chosen to take
.the Merv road.

.The end of the matter is this.  Johnny Carson, in his final
.season at NBC, averaged a 5.2 Nielsen rating.  Two years
.later, Jay Leno had taken that down to 4.4.  Dave Letterman,
.whose NBC valedictory averaged 2.5 at a later hour, is now
.coasting along at something near Johnny's old rating.
.Who's got the Carson attrition?  Dave does, and a whole
.lot more.  Bottom line, had Letterman gotten the NBC gig,
.a 6 or better rating would be the reality today, and he'd
.still be working four-day weeks.

                                       *                             

I have wondered if Dave was a recovering alcoholic.  He had John
Larroquette on the show one night, who is recovering, and talked about
the days when he used to drink heavily.

.Unfortunately, Dave is just the kind of enigmatical,
.jealously guarded private person that the media looove to
.speculate about.  He is not forthcoming at all about his
.personal life in this or any other department.  For the
.record, Dave used to drink a lot but gave it up not long
.into his _Late Night_ run.

                                       *                             

Who was the woman who kept breaking into Dave's Connecticut home claiming
to be "Mrs. Letterman"?

.Margaret Ray.  And she still breaks in from time to time,
.according to Dave in his January 1994 _Playboy_ interview.
.He says he has tried to get her some psychiatric help,
.because the state has let her case "fall through the cracks."

                                   *   *   *                         

         Questions People Ask About _Late Show with David Letterman_
                           (CBS, August 30, 1993- )

                                   *   *   *                         

Wait!  I forgot to order tickets and I'm going to be in New York.  Are
there standby tix available?

.You may get standby tickets for the show each tapeday at
.the box office at the Ed Sullivan Theater.  Standbys are
.distributed on a first-come-first-served basis, and are
.limited to one per person.  Standbys do not guarantee
.admission.  _You must be 16 or older to pick up a standby
.ticket and attend a taping._ And the consensus among those
.who've tried is that you had better get there early in the
.morning to have a shot at standby tix.

.The actual giveaway of spare seats occurs at 12 noon.
.According to numerous a.f.l. posters, CBS staff have
.instituted a procedure of numbering standby tickets as they
.give them out.  That way, recipients can enjoy the afternoon
.in beautiful Midtown without having to stand in line.

                                       *                             

I've got tickets to the Big Show!  When should I show up to get good
seats?  Any other tips?

.The tapings start at 5:30 p.m.  Seating is on a first-come-
.first-served basis, and tickets are numbered when you
.arrive.  Try coming at about 1 p.m.  (Some attendees say
.come a little later, like about 2:30 or 3, to avoid getting
.seated right up front, where one's view can be obstructed
.by all the equipment.)  After your ticket is numbered you'll
.be told to return at 3:55 p.m.  At that time ticket holders
.line up by their numbers and are eventually escorted inside
.the building.

.Some former audience members endorse *not* getting advance
.tix but waiting in line for standbys instead, the advantages
.being you have a lot more control over what day(s) you see
.the show (provided the line isn't too long), and you'll
.probably get balcony seats, which feature unobstructed
.views.  Standbys discussed above.  But if you want any
.chance of getting on camera, swapping gifts for t-shirts,
.or participating in the fabulous prize giveaways, you need
.to show up early and get a front-row seat.

.The Ed Sullivan Theater typically is chilled to between 48
.and 52 degrees Fahrenheit.

                                       *                             

Remember every night in the early months of _Late Show_ when Dave would
get a standing ovation?  Whatever happened to that?

.Mercifully, the practice has for the most part ended.  Dave
.now comes out before the taping begins to get his standing O,
.and warmup guy Bill Scheft advises the audience to keep in
.their seats when it's air time.  Dave's participation in the
.warmup is kept to an absolute minimum; if you're lucky, he'll
.be on stage by 5:28.

                                       *                             

How are the nightly Top Tens put together?

.Writer Jon Beckerman says:  "Every day each (or almost each)
.writer turns in a few topics.  Rob Burnett [now Donick
.Cary, the head writer] pitches a few to Dave, who picks
.one.  At about 2:30 or 3:00 we get the topic for the night's
.list, and everyone turns in a page of jokes (anywhere from,
.say, 5 to 20) by 3:45.  [The head writer] (selectively)
.pitches jokes to Dave and composes the list from jokes that
.Dave approves.  As you can see, it's pretty last-minute."
.Kind of like the warmup.


                                       *                             

When exactly did Dave start referring to himself as "Regis Philbin"?

.The earliest reported sighting I've made of Dave naming his
.alter ego was the 1989 broadcast from the Chicago Theatre,
.when Penn Jillette asked Dave to write his name on a playing
.card as part of a magic trick.  There's really nothing more to
.this than to Dave paying respect to his favorite broadcasters,
.a pantheon that includes Philbin, Toms Brokaw and Snyder, and
.of course his brother-in-law, Marv Albert.

                                       *                             

Well, finally Dave is back to reading multiple letters during the "viewer
mail" bit.  Why'd it take so long?

.Early in the show's CBS run, head writer Rob Burnett told
.a reporter that this was one of many "improvements" that
.needed to be made to the show to make it feel more fast-paced
.than the NBC version, since it was the consensus of Dave's
.staff that the earlier airtime for _Late Show_ required a
.tighter, peppier format than the old _Late Night._ There
.was probably also a practical consideration in that the
.writers no longer had Monday off, like they did at NBC, to
.plan multiple elaborate gags for the rest of the week,
.including viewer mail bits.  My guess is that no one was
.very happy with wagering the whole Letters segment on a
.single gag and that, despite the extra work involved, they
.figured out a way to shoehorn more letters in.  >>> By the
.way, if that "Letters, We Get Letters" theme that bookends
.the segment sounds familiar, you probably remember watching
.Perry Como on t.v. back in the 1950s (e.g., Kraft Music
.Hall).  That was *his* viewer-mail theme.

                                       *                             

The audience laughter sounds sort of canned.

.First of all, the theater is heavily miked.  Second, the
.show clearly has more energy than the old _Late Night_ did
.(see previous question).  Third, audiences seem to be
.falling out of their seats at even the lamest monologue
.jokes, in stark contrast to the audience across America
.sitting in stony silence before their sets.  It's not fake
.laughter and applause you hear, but the excessive noises
.of an overhyped and giddy studio audience, and as far as
.my ear is concerned there's little difference between the
.two.

                                      *                             

Has anyone else noticed that the show seems to be running a little long?

.Perfectly normal.  The show runs from 11:35:00 pm till 12:36:30
.pm Eastern time.
                                      *                             

These days the show seems to have some pretty noticeable edits made to
it on a regular basis.  I don't remember the program being edited for
time quite so much back at NBC.

.Our pal Mr. Donz5 provides this eyewitness account:  "The
.first show I was lucky enough to attend was in 1984. There
.was a recurring shtick before each segment (or after, I
.forget which) where a model sang some insipid song. But
.the show ran too long, and every bit with the singer in it
.was taken out when it broadcast that night.  Shows are
.routinely edited for that very reason: it went on too long."

                                       *                             

Does the Microphone on Dave's Desk actually work, or is it just a prop? 
(Thanks Mark Weber)

.Yes, the microphone (an old RCA DX 77) does work, but is
.usually reserved for special occasions, such as when Dave
.is "playing along with the band" by hitting it with a
.pencil.  The crew at NBC gave him the mic when he left.
.Dave's primary mic is the wireless "tie-clip" variety.

                                       *                             

You know that billboard painted on the backdrop directly behind Dave
when he does his monologue?  Is the face on there that guy from the
Church of the Subgenius?

.Chris Lang:  "Yes, it's definitely J.R. (Bob) Dobbs, the Avatar 
.of Slack hisself."

                                       *                             

What time do they tape the show?

.From 5:30 to 6:30 pm, Eastern time.  Says Dave, "Everything I
.do is designed to help me do the best job I can between 5:30
.and 6:30." The thing is done live, as Dave has always felt the
.energy would drain out of the show were everything subject to
.retakes.  

                                       *                             

Why are there *two* guest chairs?

.Siskel and Ebert.

                                       *                             

I have a bet with my friend.  He says the Top Ten List grew out of
the "Book of Lists" that were so very popular in the late 1970s and
early 1980s.  I say it was a spoof on Casey Kasem's _American Top
Ten_ t.v. show.  Who's right?

.You're both wrong, according to Donz5.  "Actually, when
.Dave debuted the Top 10 on September 19, 1985, he preceeded
.it by mentioning McCall's [magazine's] October, 1985 'Top
.10 Sexiest Men' list. It grew from there."

                                       *                             

What kind of ratings is the big shoo getting versus Jay et al.?

.For the 1993-94 season, Dave averaged a 5.8 rating, Ted
.Koppel a 5.0, and Jay Leno 4.4.  That is, 5.8% of all t.v.
.homes in America were watching Dave -- this despite the
.fact that at season's end some 10% of t.v. markets were
.making their viewers stay up later than the "live clearance"
.time (11:35 Eastern/Pacific, 10:35 Central/Mountain) to
.watch him.  During the Winter Olympics, all CBS affiliates
.were obliged to carry the Late Show at the correct time.
.As a result, ratings averaged a blistering 8.8 for the
.two-week period, and the night of the Kerrigan-Harding
.skateoff Dave attracted nearly as large an audience as his
.opening night on CBS.

.As you no doubt know by now, ratings have cooled since
.then.  Koppel has gained 15% and Leno 4% in audience.  Dave
.is down 20% this season.  It's too early to tell, though,
.whether CBS is to blame for not delivering any young viewers
.to late night (ratings for the late newscasts of the
.network's largest affiliates are in most cases appallingly
.low), or a big chunk of Dave's first-year audience simply
.lost interest.

--
Aaron Barnhart
letterman@mcs.net
