Subject: The alt.sex.bondage FAQ list (part 3 of 3)
Date: 26 Mar 1996 17:59:03 -0800
Summary: This posting contains a list of frequently asked questions in
    the alt.sex.bondage newsgroup, and a list of non-judgmental,
    frank, and in many cases sexually explicit answers.  You are
    encouraged to read the sections that interest you and avoid
    the sections that do not.


The alt.sex.bondage FAQ List
Where the kinky knowledge resides!
Part 3 of 3

This list is posted monthly, on or around the 11th.
Last-modified: 10 October 1994
Please send additions, suggestions, etc. to robj@unreal.com
If this posting appears truncated or damaged, contact me, also.

The World Wide Web version of this FAQ is at
.http://www.unreal.com/adult/asb/faq.htm
Please make links to this page, rather than posting separate
Web copies of the text of this FAQ.

This FAQ list is copyrighted.  The full copyright notice appears at
the end of each part of the list; please respect it.

Books could be and are being written about these questions; remember,
this is a thumbnail FAQ list.  If you learn anything from this list,
hopefully it will be how many questions there are to ask, and how much
there is to learn!  If you're concerned or curious about issues that
you feel are breezed over here, see the very end of this FAQ for a
list of wonderful books and sources of more information.  And if you
want more ideas or discussion about anything, well, what else is
alt.sex.bondage for?

This document contains explicit sexual information.  If you do not
wish to view such information, I advise you to skip this document.  If
you believe this document itself is obscene, I ask you to read my
response to question 20 in part 2 (you can search forward for the
number "20" without needing to read the intervening material).

Questions answered in this list (answers which include safety infor-
mation are flagged with **):

PART 1:
   1.  What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean?
   2.  What is a "scene", and what is "negotiation"?
** 3.  What is a "safeword"?
   4.  When is pain not pain?
** 5.  What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically?
   6.  Is everyone either a top or a bottom?
   7.  How can I learn to be a good top?
   8.  How can I learn to be a good bottom?
** 9.  Why is bondage fun?
** 10. Why is whipping fun?
** 11. What is body piercing?  What is "C&B" play, or "genitorture"?
** 12. What is cutting/burning/branding/electrical play?
** 13. What is it about breath control?  Is it safe to make someone
       pass out?
** 14. What are "golden showers"?  How about "scat"?

PART 2:
** 15. Is anal sex safe?  Why do people do it?
** 16. What is "fisting"?
   17. Does the way I play qualify as "real" SM?  What is "real" SM,
       anyway?
   18. What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes?
   19. What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing?
   20. Why am I defending SM?
   21. Is SM degrading or abusive?  Were most SM people abused?
   22. Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural,
       immoral, unethical, or unhealthy?
   23. Isn't the bottom always in control?
   24. Can someone _really_ be someone else's slave?
   25. What are the "codes"?

PART 3:
   26. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?
   27. I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it?
   28. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?
   29. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff?
   30. Are SM people being politically and socially harassed?
   31. Why are there so many postings about {whipping/pain/slavery/gay
       sex/nonconsensuality/etc} on a.s.b?  Doesn't that stuff belong
       somewhere else?
   32. I'm sick of certain topics on a.s.b. How can I avoid them?
   33. I don't have access to alt.sex.bondage; what can I do to get
       information about the scene?
   34. What are some books/magazines/organizations/stores/news archives
       where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the
       scene?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

26. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?

Sometimes people who are attracted by some aspects of SM worry that
they will immediately go from enjoying spanking and light bondage to
fisting and golden showers.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

SM is a blanket term for a huge variety of alternative ways to make
love.  This FAQ list has outlined some of the possibilities.  No one I
know enjoys _everything_ on this list; _everyone_ has their own
preferences and levels of tolerance.  Some like bondage but dislike
pain; some like latex but dislike leather; some enjoy piercing but not
whipping; some like tickling and nothing else!

This means that negotiation is always important in SM; you never know
what someone's tastes will be until you ask.  It also means that
whatever your level, however hard the play that you enjoy, there are
people out there who share your tastes.  Be a dabbler or be a life-
styler, or be anywhere in between!  And don't worry; the operative
word with all of these practices is _pleasure_.  If you don't like it,
you won't enjoy it, and you won't do it!

Some people have fantasies about heavier SM trips than they would
enjoy in real life.  To those people, I say this: fantasies are not
reality.  It is well documented that many women have rape fantasies
from time to time; this does not mean that those women want to be
raped.  SM can involve playing on the edge between fantasy and
reality, using that fantasy energy to create something fantastically
strong and passionate in the real world; but this does not mean that
fantasies are anything but imagination, or that fantasies will become
real without your choosing to make them so.

If you feel that doing SM might make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe,
or make it harder for you to maintain your sense of self-worth and
pride, those are excellent reasons to avoid doing SM--or at the very
least to only do those sorts of play that don't tear you down but
instead build you up.  SM is an intense form of relating, and not
everyone is ready for that; if you don't think you are, don't do it
that intensely--and if you're not sure, go slowly.  What's the rush?
Do what you honestly want to do, and what you feel ready for.

Some people getting into the scene almost have a mental checklist of
stuff they want to try.  They spend a year or two burning through the
checklist, having a great time, always desperate for the next
experience.  Then they get to the end of the list, and suddenly they
don't know what's next.  This can be a very empty feeling.  SM is not
an end in itself, but a means to connect with others; it is ultimately
about relating, and about developing yourself.

If you are worried about getting "too into SM", it means that you are
sensitive to your spiritual and sexual development, which in itself
means you have less to worry about.  Trust your instincts.  SM is
nothing but opening up the the powerful energy within us all, and
being willing to experience that energy with and through others; it is
intimate and loving.  Even a hard scene, involving ruthless domination
and serious pain, is an act of love, and a very deep one at that; it
takes a lot of trust and a strong connection between the people
involved to create such a scene.  The more aware of Sex Magick you
are, the better a communicator and lover you will likely be--and you
don't have to be a heavy player to understand Sex Magick.

People who think that all BDSM behaviors are unhealthy or destructive
sometimes come out with a claim like, "Just you wait, you may start
off by enjoying being spanked, but before long you'll be liking being
bruised, dismembered, flayed, and murdered!"  This is, simply,
ridiculous.  While many people do find their tolerance for pain
increasing as they do BDSM, many others find no such effect, or even
have no interest in experimenting.  It seems that for most people,
their internal "thermostat," the level of stimulus which makes them
hot, is pretty much constant.  And certainly I know of no one
practicing consensual SM who perpetrates serious injury on their
lovers.  The SM scene is rife with information about how to inflict
intense sensation without causing permanent or unintended damage of
any kind.  Recognize these kinds of alarmist claims about BDSM as the
scaremongering that they are.

And finally, after all is said and done, you may _still_ have some
fantasies that you recognize as too intense or too contrary to your
nature to actually perform in a real-life scene.  This is quite
common, as well; we all have desires which we recognize are not safely
fulfillable.  Do not do anything that you feel you should not or
cannot do, even if the desire remains strong; or at least, if you do
choose to explore that desire, go very carefully and be prepared to
back off if you find your suspicions confirmed.  If it hurts not to
fulfill the desire, that's part of what maturity is about--rejecting
desires that pull you into things that are no good for you, while
choosing that which will affirm you.  And in any case, the process of
introspecting, of asking yourself what you want (and what you will
permit yourself) and why, can be vital to your growth and your sense
of yourself.  Life is change, and every choice carries _some_
risk... decide for yourself what path you want to walk.


27. I want to throw a play party; how can I go about it?

Occasionally on alt.sex.bondage there is a flurry of email about some
event that recently occurred (often in the SF Bay area) at which many
net.folks were in attendance, and about the tremendously enjoyable
things that transpired there.  Then others around the country post,
wishing they lived out here too.  Well, you don't have to live out
here to have a play party!

What is a play party?  A party where your guests can (and hopefully
will) play with each other!  It can be as simple as a backrub circle
which turns into more intimate activity, or it can be one person who
gets clothespins applied to them while others watch and contribute
energy before going off into their own scenes, or indeed anything at
all.  The idea is to enjoy each other, to communicate and share the
pleasure that touching and playing can bring.  If there is a common
interest in SM, that's convenient, as lots of things can be initiated
with a simple pair of handcuffs or a whip that looks like it'd feel
good; also, if the guests have played with SM, they will understand
the need for negotiation, and they will know what it is to respect
another's limits.

Some tips: Don't encourage alcohol; make it BYOB.  This makes the
party safer, and the drunker you get the less likely you are to really
be able to fully negotiate and communicate.  Minimize video and loud
music; this causes people to interact with each other, which is the
whole point, rather than sit back and stay out of the action.  (Good
party music can help set the mood, though.)  Keep condoms, dental
dams, latex gloves, lube (water-based!), betadine (if piercers or
cutters are present), bleach (for cleaning toys), and paper towels
handy; this makes people aware that they can easily play safely--a
matter of life and death--as well as expressing the hosts' concern for
the guests.

If possible, have several playspaces (i.e. rooms where people can
recline and play with each other); this lets the exhibitionists
exhibit, while the more private ones can be more private, and the
heavy players can play heavily (serious whippings, candles, etc.)
without freaking out the folks with lighter tastes.  Have some
knowledgeable people take turns as safety monitors; if anything's
going on that looks unsafe or nonconsensual, give those people
authority to take action.  Establish a party safeword (a great one is
"Safeword!").  In general, make your place into a safe space, a haven
where people can unwind and enjoy each other to whatever extent they
want to, without feeling pressured or uncomfortable.

Possibly the most helpful tip: if you can, try to get a group of
people in your area together, and try to get activities planned
between parties--lunches, group shopping trips to your local toy
stores, movies, etcetera.  It's hard to overcome the barriers to
trusting someone enough to have sensual or sexual contact with them,
especially in our pleasure-negative society; therefore, things may not
get off to the rollicking start you could wish for at your first
party.  If there are a couple of exhibitionists to break the ice,
though, it helps; and as people get to know each other better and get
to be friends, it will increase the level of fun everyone will have!


28. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?

The simplest way to fit in in a play party is to behave politely.
There will be people right in front of you who are doing very sexual
things.  They are doing them for _their_ pleasure, not for yours.
Stay away from the action unless invited to participate-- and a glance
in your direction does not constitute an invitation.

The people who really interfere with the energy of a party are the
people who seemingly assume that just because the scene is taking
place in a semi-public context means that comments from the audience
are okay fine.  They're NOT.  The top in the scene is concentrating on
the bottom's pleasure, and the bottom is almost certainly in a very
private mental space.  Neither the top nor the bottom will appreciate
being yanked back to reality by a loud suggestion or greeting.  If you
want to compliment them on something, WAIT UNTIL THE SCENE IS OVER and
they're circulating and being sociable again!  Interfering with a
scene in progress is inexcusably rude, and if I were dungeon-mastering
I would throw you out of the party for doing it.

Once you understand that scenes are private even though they're taking
place in public, the question then becomes, how can you watch without
detracting from the energy of the scene?

There definitely are people who interfere just by watching.  They've
been dubbed "energy vampires" in the past.  These people are watching
the action as though it was a porno movie--as though the intense magic
taking place in front of them was no more than a bad fuck flick where
the actress is half asleep.  They have no empathy, no sense of
connection to what's going on; they might as well be in a movie
theater.

If you have the ability to watch what is happening with an open heart,
if you can pick up on the energy and send your own good wishes towards
the participants in the scene, you will be much more valuable as a
watcher.  Public players never object to an enthusiastic audience
which can appreciate the way they're playing!  An audience which
values the gift of being allowed to watch, and which contributes its
goodwill towards the play, can be a delight; an audience which watches
without giving and without connecting takes the life and spirit out of
the scene.  (And remember, a good audience does NOT make comments that
the players can hear--an audience doesn't interfere with the
performance!)

You can be a part of the magic without playing yourself.  All it takes
is an honest enjoyment of what's happening combined with politeness
and tact.

If you _do_ want to play, and there's someone you want to play with,
you can ask--but be prepared to accept a "no, thanks" gracefully.  If
you are comfortable mingling and making small talk, you'll be more
likely to find someone with compatible desires--after all, everyone
else there has similar tastes!  There often will be rooms for heavy
play and rooms for hanging out and socializing; don't try to do one
activity in the other activity's space.

(It helps if you dress sexily, even if you're not playing--the more
leather and lace there is to look at, the better!)


29. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff?

There are many people who post to alt.sex.bondage through the wizvax
Anonymous Posting Service, and many others who post from pseudonymous
accounts.  The reasons are obvious; "kinky sex" in our society is
stigmatized, and being openly interested in sexuality or alternate
sexual practices can result in personal and professional consequences
including losing one's job, losing one's friends, and if child custody
is involved, losing one's children.  Yes, in America today, you can
lose custody of your child if it becomes known that you practice SM.
(This is not merely anecdotal; people on the net have had these things
happen to them.)  Oral sex is a crime in some states!  After reading
this FAQ, it (hopefully) should be clear how twisted this situation
is, when acts of love can be used as evidence of psychological damage.

This is why many choose to write and post anonymously.  By using a
pseudonym, they can say what they want to say, while remaining free of
the nastiness that could ensue were their coworkers to discover their
interests.  Homosexuals know what it's like to be ostracized for their
romantic and sexual preferences; SM devotees are, in some ways, in the
same boat.  It's a strange world, where love is perceived as evil, and
beauty as ugliness....

Anonymous posters are not cowards.  The consequences I have outlined
are enough to make anyone question whether posting under their own
name is worthwhile.  Those who choose to do so are not necessarily so
much courageous as lucky--lucky to be able to be out, to declare their
lifestyles openly.  (Note that pseudonyms are sometimes used in real-
life situations, as well; there are many netters who go by their net
names even at social functions.)

This means that it is rude to inquire as to someone's actual identity
if they choose to use a pseudonym.  It is also rude to tell others of
their real name, if you somehow become privy to it, without first
asking them; they have entrusted you with something that they don't
want commonly known.  DON'T OUT SOMEONE IF THEY DON'T WANT TO BE
OUTED.  You yourself may not need a net.name; that doesn't mean you
can take others' anonymity any less seriously than they themselves do.
This goes for the net and for real life.  If you meet someone at a
party who you've known from the net, they'll probably still want to be
known under their net name, and if you're writing about that party
later, make sure you have their permission before describing them or
scenes in which they participated (even if you use only their net
name).

It is an open question whether the world would improve if everyone
outed themselves.  Some say that we need to get all kinky people out
of the closet, so everyone'll realize how many of us there are (and
there are many!).  Others, myself included, believe that everyone
should be free to choose how they want to live their life--including
choosing to be anonymous.


30.  Are SM people subjected to political or social harassment?

Like all alternate sexualities, SM is stigmatized in many ways by most
of society.  In extreme cases, SM players are prosecuted legally.  or
persecuted by people who would _like_ to so prosecute them.  This
section of the FAQ describes some of these ongoing battles.  (See
question 22 for a brief mention of one recently-vanquished challenge.)

First, the most serious anti-SM action in years: the Spanner case.  In
Britain in 1992, sixteen men who had attended an SM party were
convicted of assault, despite the fact that everything that happened
at the party was fully consensual.  The sentence was four to six years
in prison.

The defendants appealed, and eventually reached the highest court in
Britain, which issued a judgment rife with the worst and most
inaccurate popular misconceptions about BDSM, ignoring everything that
is now widely known about how it is safe and consensual.  This
judgment is a travesty of human rights, and flies blindly in the face
of medical and psychological fact, in favor of prejudicial ignorance.

The men involved are now pushing to take the case to the European
court of human rights.  They need any and all assistance.  An
organization named Countdown on Spanner was formed to pursue the
appeal as far as necessary.  Countdown on Spanner can be reached via
Snail Mail; C/O Central Station 37 Wharfdale Road London N1 Great
Britain Please include a SAE.  Or contact via e-mail:
phas@siva.bris.ac.uk

Another situation demanding attention is the censorship being
practiced by Canadian customs.  Canada has no First Amendment, and
Customs has been seizing gay and lesbian erotica, especially
SM-related material, and preventing it from reaching bookstores in
Canada.  This arbitrary action has made it very difficult for many of
these bookstores to survive.  The Canadian government, via Customs, is
silencing the voices of those who want to talk about their sexuality.

Little Sisters Bookstore in Vancouver is suing Customs, asserting that
Customs should not have the right to seize books on suspicion of
obscenity.  If the case is won, obscenity will have to be determined
by the courts, not by Customs.  It is not at all certain that the case
will be won; a recent Supreme Court decision in Canada used language
from American anti-porn activist Catherine MacKinnon to define
pornography as material that is "violent" or "degrading" to women.
Such laws can be used to keep ANY SM-related material from ever being
published--which is exactly the intent.  MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin
have repeatedly pushed for such legislation in the United States as
well.  The Canada case is thus very relevant for Americans into SM.

If you can contribute, please write to Little Sisters Defense Fund,
1221 Thurlow Street, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada V6E 1X4.  The
case will be expensive, and help is badly needed.

America has its share of official persecution of SM, though not so
seriously as in the Spanner case.  SM clubs are still associated by
the media with unsafe sex, whether or not the club requires safe sex
(as almost all do).  Of course, the current ignorance of consensual SM
in America leads to regular prosecution of people producing erotic
material, whether videos, magazines, or pictures.  Legal fees from
obscenity proceedings brought by the government can put a small
producer or publisher out of business before the case ever comes to
trial.  For example, movies involving bondage together with sex are
essentially censored in this country, because of such government
action.  Self-righteous dictators such as the Rev. Donald Wildmon
exploit untruths about SM to help them determine what may and may not
be shown in the media.

Most of all, learn for yourself about the realities of SM, as opposed
to the myths.  And speak out against oppression born out of ignorance.


31. Why are there so many postings about {whipping/pain/slavery/gay
sex/nonconsensuality/etc} on a.s.b?  Doesn't that stuff belong
somewhere else?

Every now and then, someone posts to a.s.b asking why there are so
many postings about some topic that's not straightforward bondage.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to split the group, so the {gays/heavy
players/people into whipping} could go off and be by themselves?
Wasn't alt.sex.bondage created for the purpose of discussing bondage?

The answers are no and no.  a.s.b was created in response to a joke
that turned serious.  The group has no explicit charter, and no set of
guidelines as to what is and is not appropriate.

What a.s.b has evolved into (and actually has always been) is, as the
intro to this FAQ states, a group for discussing "ways to have sex
that are outside the mainstream".  This is an awfully wide descrip-
tion.  There is room underneath it for discussing everything from "how
do I tie someone up?"  to "how can I play with razors safely?" to
"what's it like to love someone of your sex?"

The inevitable consequence of this is that people sometimes get
exposed to material that squicks them.  That's life in the big net.
There is no guarantee that everything on a.s.b will suit your personal
interests.  The general rule of the net applies here in spades: if you
don't like it, hit "n" and ignore it.  It's guaranteed that there are
many many out there who _do_ like it.  Remember, limits are relative;
many of the "heavy players" you read about started as novices them-
selves, and the person who just described their intense whipping scene
may be unable to handle even the lightest tickling... food for
thought!

I just finished reading a few stories about nonconsensual rape and
sadistic murder that were posted netwide.  I personally disliked those
stories.  Do I think they're appropriate for a.s.b?  Not really.  Can
I stop them from being posted?  Nope.  Can I ignore them?  Hell yes.
Remember, a story is a fantasy that someone bothered to write
down... and fantasies can't hurt anybody--if you don't like it, ignore
it!  That is certainly more productive than flaming the person who
wrote it.

Can the ferment of different topics and views on a.s.b degenerate into
chaos?  Yes, and it sometimes does.  But more frequently, the mixing
of interests and ideas generates a really wonderful dialogue out of
which new knowledge and fantasy is born.  Novices pipe up with
questions that spark an insightful reply by an old-timer.  Old-timers
post about some experience that gets lurkers' juices flowing
everywhere.  Someone who knows a lot about one kind of play tries
something new and posts about it.  And the words flow on and on.

a.s.b works, like no other group I know of on the net.  So don't be
too hasty with that "n" key... you might learn something!


32. I'm sick of certain topics on a.s.b. How can I avoid them?

a.s.b, like all Usenet groups, has its share of flame wars.  Many of
them revolve around questions of whether particular BDSM activities
are healthy or not (the usual answer: "They're risky, but it's
possible to do them safely and beneficially, and many people do"), or
whether alt.sex.bondage is a heterosexist group or not (I'm not gonna
tackle _that_ one here, yet).  One common feature of all, though, is
that some people get burned out on reading all the hundreds of
articles in the thread.

The solution?  Most newsreading programs support a tool called a "kill
file", which is a list of subjects and/or authors that you are NOT
interested in and never want to look at.  Different newsreaders have
different ways of using killfiles.  I use rn, so my example will refer
to it.  (If you use a different program, see the documentation for
that program.

To add a particular subject (say, "FAQ List") to your killfile in rn,
go to alt.sex.bondage When you are reading the group, type ^K
(control-K).  This will put you into an editor which is editing your
killfile for alt.sex.bondage.  Type the following:

/FAQ List/h:j

then exit your editor.  What that line says is "junk any articles
which contain the text `FAQ List' in the header."  Replace "FAQ List"
with the subject you dislike or the user ID of the person you no
longer wish to read, and presto, your blood pressure will be much
happier.

I've been told the following about the "gnus" newsreader: "In gnus,
from the subject buffer, on an article from the person you wish to
kill: type meta-k [gnus-Subject-edit-local-kill], C-c C-k C-a
[gnus-Kill-file-kill-by-author], C-c C-a [gnus-Kill-file-apply-
buffer], C-c C-c [gnus-Kill-file-exit]."  "C-a" stands for
"control-A", and "meta-k" stands for "escape-K."  The text in brackets
isn't stuff you should type; it's just explanation of what each set of
keystrokes means.

If you use nn, track down a post written by the victim to be
killfiled, and just hit 'K' (capital-K).  Follow the somewhat cryptic
prompts, and respond according to your needs.  For example:
 
    nn gives you                              you respond
        ------------                              -----------
   AUTO (k)ill or (s)elect [...]                   k
 
   AUTO KILL on (s)ubject or (n)ame [...]          n
 
   KILL Name: (=/)                                 /
 
   KILL Name (regexp):                             FAQ List
 
   KILL in (g)roup 'alt.sex.bondage' or
          in (a)ll groups                          a
 
   Lifetime of entry in days (p)ermanent [...]     p  [or 21915 to 25568]
 
   CONFIRM KILL Name perm regexp: FAQ List          y
 
If you use tin, you can either hand-edit .tin/kill (instructions
should be given in that file), or you can hit control-K while reading
any article.  This will toss a nice menu on the screen.  Just follow
the prompts.  For example:
 
    tin gives you                       you respond
        -------------                       -----------
        Kill type: Kill                     [return/enter]
 
        Kill text pattern:                  FAQ List [return/enter]
 
        Apply pattern to:                   [spacebar until "Subject: & From: 
                                                   lines" appears, then hit
                                                   return]
 
        Kill Subject [...]: No              [return/enter]
 
        Kill From [...]: No                 [return/enter]
 
        Kill pattern scope:                 [spacebar until appropriate
                                                   choice appears, then
                                                   hit return]

Two pieces of jargon related to kill files: Sometimes you will see
someone responding to something egregiously stupid (in the responder's
opinion) said by someone else.  The response may look like, "Ho, hum.
<Plonk.>" What is plonk?  Plonk is the sound of someone being dropped
into a kill file; the respondent is announcing that they are
permanently killfiling the original poster.  Other times, a poster may
be annoying lots and lots of people on a.s.b, and someone will post
something like "Everyone PISS on this guy!"  PISS stands for Passive
Intentional Silence Strike, and basically means that everyone should
just ignore the poster, rather than arguing and/or flaming.  The idea
is that if the person can't get a rise out of anyone, they will get
bored and leave.  It very often works, too... or at least it reduces
the wasted bandwidth.


33. I don't have access to alt.sex.bondage; what can I do to get
information about the scene?

A question I've been getting more and more often as my FAQ spreads
outwards into the world is, "I can't read alt.sex.bondage, but the
stuff you talk about in your FAQ sounds really interesting.  Are there
any ways for me to access alt.sex.bondage, or do you know of any SM
groups or BBS'es near me?"

First off: unless you have access to a system which gets USENET news,
and alt.sex.bondage in particular, there is no way for you to read
alt.sex.bondage.  There are no mailing-list gateways or FTP archives
of alt.sex.bondage.  There may be public-access net sites in your area
which you could use to access a.s.b.

Second: I don't track very many local SM organizations, beyond the
ones I mention at the end of this FAQ.  So please don't ask me for
information beyond what's contained here.

HOWEVER: There is a way you can get answers to your questions!  If you
have email access to the Internet, you can use an "anonymous posting
service".  A posting service is a program running on some
Internet-connected computer.  You can send email to the service, and
it will remove your userid from the email, append a newly-generated
anonymous userid, and post your email to alt.sex.bondage!  Anyone can
send you mail in response, and the service will forward it to you.  So
if you have questions about SM resources in your area, use an
anonymous posting service to send your question to a.s.b (for example,
"I can't read alt.sex.bondage, but I'd like to know whether there are
any SM groups in Vancouver.  Please reply by email").  You will
definitely get more responses than you would any other way.

(Of course, if you _can_ read a.s.b but don't want to post under your
real name, you can use a posting service for that; that's what they're
mainly for.)

Anonymous posting services come and go, but here is the big one (as of
September 1994): "help@anon.penet.fi" "???WIZVAX???".  Send mail to
this address for more information.  You can apparently post articles
non-anonymously by sending them via email to
alt.sex.bondage.usenet@decwrl.dec.com or alt-sex-bondage@cs.utexas.edu
(or just about any other group for that matter...at least the ones
that are common/current).



34. What are some books/magazines/organizations/stores/news archives
where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene?

First off, I don't have the time to track electronic resources--
archive servers, FTP sites, etc.--since they come and go on an almost
daily basis.  If you want to reach any archive servers or suchlike,
you'll need to post to a.s.b (anonymously, if you wish) to ask where
they are this week.

That said, read on to find out where you can get SM stuff or learn SM
tricks or meet SM people!

This list is (permanently and congenitally) incomplete and needs all
the entries it can find--address corrections especially appreciated.

Other groups that are in some ways related to a.s.b are alt.sex.
spanking (for folks who are into that in particular), alt.sex.fetish.
fashion (for lovers of sexy clothes), alt.sex.stories (often there are
SM-related stories posted there), and so forth.

Nonfiction books: (If you liked this FAQ, you will very likely enjoy
these books.  These describe consensual SM as I have been using the
term in this FAQ, and are all excellent resources for learning.)

Pat Califia, _Sensuous Magic_ (New York, Masquerade Books, 1993).
ISBN 1-56333-131-4, softcover.  Pat Califia is a legendary writer
about SM behavior and SM fantasy.  This is her latest book and I
recommend it unhesitatingly.  It is in my opinion hands-down the best
how-to book about SM, combining fictional vignettes with sincere,
quality information delivered as effectively as possible.  If you are
into SM, you will learn from this book; and if you liked this FAQ but
want more details, this is THE BOOK for you.  Order it from Good
Vibrations (see the store list below).

_Different Loving_, by Gloria G. Brame, William D.  Brame, and Jon
Jacobs (Villard Books, New York, 1993, ISBN 0-679-40873-8), is a
thorough, non-judgmental work describing all aspects of SM sexuality.
There are hundreds of interviews and lots and lots of accurate
information.  If you ever wondered whether there was anyone out there
as kinky as you, buy this book, and know you're not alone.  It's a
survey, not a how-to, but there's lots of safety information in it
anyway.  539 pages!  The more of it I read, the more impressed I've
become.

A brief and excellent introduction to safe SM is _The Lesbian S/M
Safety Guide_, edited by Pat Califia and published by Lace
Publications (an imprint of Alyson Publications).  There is
information in here on everything from physical safety to emotional
issues to negotiating with bottoms to consensual slave contracts.
It's written about lesbians, but very little of the information is
actually gender-specific.  Excellent.

Larry Townsend's _The Leatherman's Handbook II_.  This is fairly
widely available, and is by all accounts the best resource for gay
male SM information.  I personally have never read it, but it's widely
known.  (The first edition is still available, but II contains more
information about AIDS and safer sex, so it's probably what you want.)

_On the Safe Edge: A Manual For SM Play,_ by Trevor Jacques, with Dr.
Dale, Michael Hamilton, and Sniffer.  ISBN: 1-895857-05-8 (pbk.)  This
new book comes recommended by many reputable and knowledgeable people
in the scene.  It's a how-to with lots and lots of safety information.
To order directly, call WholeSM Publishing (SAN S1196111) at: (416)
962 1040 (after October 17th.) or you can reach the authors at
72624.3533@CompuServe.com

_Coming to Power_, by SAMOIS, published by Alyson Press.  This is a
book about lesbian SM, written by a former Bay Area women's
collective.  It has a huge spectrum of pieces from hot fantasy to
personal history to political pronouncement.  Very worthwhile for all
who are interested in SM, lesbian or otherwise.

Mark Thompson (editor), _Leatherfolk_, Alyson Press.  An EXCELLENT
anthology about the SM scene in America, from the 1930s through the
present.  Focuses mainly on the gay and lesbian SM communities, but
contains much worthwhile material for anyone interested in any aspects
of SM.

_Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M Lovemaking_, by
Race Bannon, Daedalus Publishing Co., 4470-107 Sunset Blvd., Suite
375, Los Angeles, CA 90027.  Available by mail from the publisher @
$12.95 + $2.50 s/h (CA residents add 8.25% sales tax).  Race is a
well- known figure in the SM scene, and by all accounts this book is
quite comprehensive, describing all aspects of safe SM from the
physical to the spiritual.  If you liked this FAQ, I'd guess you'd
like this book.

_SM 101_, published by Jay Wiseman, PO Box 1261, Berkeley, CA 94701.
$19.95 will get you this book, which is one of the most thorough and
in-depth explorations of SM safety and SM practice I have had the
pleasure to read.  I would consider this book very valuable for anyone
who is wondering "how do I get started?"--Jay has many relatively
specific examples and tips on how to make your scenes delightful and
memorable.  He's an opinionated guy, but then aren't we all?

Jack Morin, _Anal Pleasure and Health_, Down There Press, Burlingame,
CA.  This book has the complete lowdown on all aspects of anal sex--
safety, hygiene, emotional issues, you name it.  Extremely valuable
information, well presented.

Robert J. Stoller, _Pain and passion: a psychoanalyst explores the
world of S&M,_ 1991, New York et al.: Plenum, X, 306 pp.  ISBN
0-306-43770-8.  I've heard that this book does an excellent job of
revisiting (and refuting) the common Freudian biases against SM, in
spite of several far-from-objective judgmental sections.

Two other psychoanalytic books dealing with SM (neither of which I've
read) are _Dark Eros_ by Thomas Moore and _Masochism_ by Lyn Cowan.

_Sadomasochism in Everday Life: The Dynamics of Power and
Powerlessness_, Lynn S. Chancer, 1992, publisher momentarily unknown
(but soon to be added), ISBN 0-8135-1808-3.  Chancer's book takes a
long, hard look at the many social contexts in which one group
exercises power abusively over another.  It's a fascinating
perspective from which to analyze racism, sexism, etc., and there is a
fair amount of material about BDSM in the sense it's been described in
this FAQ.

_Ties that Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style_ by Guy Baldwin,
M.S.  I'm lacking complete bibliographic information for this book,
which is too bad, as it's a standout.  Baldwin is a therapist who sees
many people in the SM community.  He has a unique healer's perspective
on many of the emotional and psychological issues that arise for
people in the scene.  If you are doing a lot of thinking about whether
SM is right for you, or if you're working on your SM with your partner
and you want another point of view, do yourself a COLOSSAL favor and
buy this book.  (You can order it from Mr. S Leathers, or from QSM.)

_The Sexually Dominant Woman, A Workbook for Nervous Beginners_, by
Lady Green. (Lady Green's book is supposed to be very good for those
who barely know where to begin.)

Fiction books: (Not all of the scenarios in these books are what I
would call consensual SM, but as stated earlier, fantasies are not
reality, and neither are erotic stories.  Don't take these books as
seriously as you would the ones above.  Hopefully everyone is now
thinking, "Well, duh!  Obviously!")

Anne Rice has written a number of books with SM themes.  As A. N.
Roquelaure, she released the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy: _The Claiming of
Sleeping Beauty_, _Beauty's Punishment_, and _Beauty's Release_, in
which the hero and heroine are subjected to all kinds of wonderfully
sensual torments.  Something for just about everyone.  Also widely
available is _Exit to Eden_, under the name Ann Rampling; the first
part of the book is the most SM-y.

Anything written by Pat Califia (_Macho Sluts_, _Doc and Fluff_,
_Sapphistry_, and her new book _Melting Point_).  Alyson Publica-
tions (40 Plympton St., Boston, MA 02118, (800) 8-ALYSON) publishes
her stuff.  She's very well known in the scene and she is a hot (as in
boiling-glowing-volcanic-nuclear-SUPERHOT) writer.  Be warned, though;
_Doc and Fluff_ in particular is not for the faint of heart!  If what
you want is SM erotica, _Macho Sluts_ or _Melting Point_ are the
ticket.

_Leatherwomen_, edited by Laura Antoniou, Rosebud Press, ISBN
1-563-33095-4.  $4.95 at most book stores or direct order from
(800)458-9640.  This new paperback is an anthology of S/M fiction by
women.  It's very very hot stuff!  Some of the fiction in this book
rivals Pat Califia's work, which is high praise indeed.  Get it.

_The Slave_, Sara Adamson, Rhinoceros Press, 1994, ISBN 1-56333-173-X.
A surprisingly straightforward look at a woman's search for--and
discovery of--a dream life of servitude.  I enjoyed it greatly, and
not only was it hot, it made me think.  Recommended.  Her earlier book
in the trilogy, _The Marketplace_, is also excellent.

Some guest recommendations:

"_Masochism_ (New York: Zone Books, 1991).  This book consists of a
translation of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's _Venus_in_Furs_, prefaced
by a long essay, 'Coldness and Cruelty,' by the French philosopher
Gilles Deleuze.  To quote the dust jacket: 'Deleuze's stunning essay
is an attempt to restore to Masoch's work the rigorous and informed
philosophical examination that is due it.'....  I think Deleuze shows
that Masoch has a lot more to say to the BDSM community than Sade
does."

"Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality (Carol Vance, ed.)
The Scholar and Feminist Conference at Barnard in 1982 was almost
ripped apart when politically correct feminists tried to suppress
feminists who wanted the freedom to enjoy power exchange.  This is a
collection of papers and talks from this watershed of the Woman's
Movement.

"S&M: Studies in Sadomasochism (Thomas Weinberg and G.W. Kamel, eds)
This is a collection of essays on the nature, origin and development
of what they call sadomasochism.  Some are decent; some have points of
interest; a number are so far off the mark as to be laughable.

"A Taste for Pain: On Masochism and Female Sexuality (Maria Marcus)
The author, a self-admitted masochist, explores the existing
literature on sadomasochism from a very personal, insightful point of
view."

Three sources for people who are into spanking in particular:

CF Publications, PO Box 713, E Setauket, NY 11733.
    Newsletters, stories, fiction.

CD Publishing Corp., 213 Valley St, Ste 228, South Orange, NJ 07079
    Information, newsletters, personal ads.

Shadow Lane, PO Box 1910, Studio City, CA
    One of the best, with lots of materials, videos, et al.

Videos:

_Safe, Sane, Consensual SM_ is a documentary consisting of interviews
with 20 experienced SM players, discussing their experiences and
viewpoints.  I know several of the people interviewed, and what they
have to say is very worth hearing.  $49.95 + $5 S&H; California
residents add applicable sales tax.  You must state that you are over
21.  B&D Video Production and Distribution Company, 2215-R Market
Street #214, San Francisco, CA 94114, (415) 863-0199 (call for
quantity discounts).

Jay Edwards Collection/Close-Up Productions/John Floyd Productions,
P.O. Box 691658, Los Angeles, CA 90069.  These companies release
various heterosexual bondage videos, mostly with women as the bottoms.
Very popular.

_Learning the Ropes,_ Ona Zee Productions, P.O. Box 9951, Marina Del
Rey, CA 90295.  Ona and her husband Frank have put together seven
(going on eight) instructional videos about BDSM, on topics from
bondage to dildoes to whips and hot wax.  I've heard they're very
worth getting.

Act quick and get in on this: "We (Corporation for Multicultural Arts
and Entertainment Broadcasting, a new non profit orginization) are
currently producing a television program called Alien Death Squad. It
features bondage/fetish gear from around the world, bondage/fetish
mags i.e <<O>>, Skin Two ect.., Bondage fetish clubs from around the
world, Anime, Live Action, Computer animations and demo's, music
video's, and other cyberculture items.  If you have any video footage
, magazines, periodicals, news, or info we would like to see it and
possibly air it. Also if you would like to join the Alien Death Squad
send us email to Cybortronik@pan.com to keep up to date on the TV
show, plus other special offers. Video formats we accept are 3/4 inch,
VHS, SVHS. Printed material will be scanned and put into computer
slide show."

Magazines:

_Sandmutopia Guardian_, by Desmodus, Inc., P. O. Box 410390, San
Francisco, CA 94141-0390, (415) 252-1195.  $24 for six issues
(US/Canada).  A very good how-to magazine, focusing on the basics of
SM play (lots of reader articles and B&W pictures), with lots of
listings of clubs around the US.  The magazine was having trouble for
a while, but a new editor (Pat Califia) is once again making it into a
factual, detailed reference magazine like no other.  Get all the back
issues you possibly can.

_Skin Two_, Freepost, 23 Grand Union Centre, Kensal Rd, London W10
5BR.  A VERY classy magazine, all glossy with excellent articles and
photos, with lots of emphasis on latex but good material for anyone
into SM, as well as a HUGE section of magazine, book, and store
listings in the back of every issue.  They take credit card orders at
081 968 9692.  Highly recommended.

_Brat Attack_, P.O. Box 40754, San Francisco, ,CA 94140-0754.  A
magazine by SM dykes, and mostly for SM dykes, though the writing is
smart and funny no matter what your crotch looks like.  Subs are 10
bucks/3 issues.  Fish, the founder, was looking to sell it, last I
heard.

_Body Play and Modern Primitives Quarterly_, Insight Books, P.O.  Box
2575, Menlo Park, CA 94026-2575.  This magazine, published and edited
by the celebrated Fakir Musafar, has monthly articles on subjects from
corseting and wasit training to tattoos, piercings, and intense SM
practices.  Very well produced.  Subs are $45/4 issues.  [May be
defunct.]

_Frighten the Horses_, Heat Seeking Publishing, 41 Sutter St. #1108,
San Francisco, CA 94104.  FtH has only gotten bigger and more inter-
esting with every issue; each has a good balance of non-fiction (quite
often actively political) pieces, sexy fiction for ALL kinds of
tastes, and news and reviews of the sexual revolution.  Subs are $16/4
issues.  Unfortunately spotty publication record recently.

_Bad Attitude_, P.O. Box 39110, Cambridge, MA 02139.  Bigger than
_Brat Attack_, and mostly fiction, again by SM dykes.  Some very
strong and gripping stuff.  $24/6 issues.

<<O>>, c/o Dream Dresser, Inc., 1042 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., Washington,
DC 20007.  <<O>> is for those who love latex.  Some of the most
beautiful fetish photography I've ever seen.  Subs are $150 for six
(legal-size, full-color glossy, 80-page) issues.

_Venus Infers_, 2215-R Market Street, Suite 294, San Francisco, CA
94114.  $8/issue.  This is a new, smart, hot S/M magazine by lesbians
for (mostly) lesbians.  It's got art, it's got writing, it's got good
design.  It's got what it takes.  Recommended.


Organizations:

First of all, people who read a.s.b or other SM mailing lists often
form social groups in local areas.  Sometimes these groups have
meetings which are open to anyone who wants to swing by.  The best way
to find out about these is to post to a.s.b (see question 31 if need
be) and ask whether there's one in your area.

Science fiction cons also often have play parties, which are usually
announced on the net beforehand, and sometimes discreetly advertised
at the con.  This is another reasonable way to meet people in the
scene.

There are various regional organizations which continually fluc-
tuate.  Look in the back of the _Sandmutopia Guardian_ or _Skin Two_;
they generally include a list in every issue.  And look up your local
adult toy store or leather store; they may have leads on any SM groups
near you.  Look around--there are lots of people out there who like
this stuff!  Here are some of the best-known and most-established SM
organizations:

QSM, PO Box 882242, SF CA 94188.  QSM is the best organization in the
world for learning about SM.  QSM holds many different classes and
workshops on all aspects of SM.  Write to them to get on their mailing
list or to preregister for classes--they also have an extensive list
of books and magazines available by mail order (all the books and
magazines listed above, and then some!).

The Southbay Leather and Uniform Group (SLUG) is an omnisexual club
whose purpose is to promote educational, social, and charitable
activities among people with an interest in Levis, leather, and
uniforms--and all that usually goes with them!  The address is SLUG,
Billy De Frank Center, 175 Stockton Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408)
929-SLUG.

The Eulenspiegel Society, PO Box 2783, Grand Central Station, New
York, NY 10163-2783, 212-388-7022.  A long-running club for SMers on
the right coast.  Well known.  They put out a quarterly 64-page
newsletter, as well as another magazine for leatherfolk of color.
Weekly meetings.

The Society of Janus, PO Box 426794, San Francisco, CA 94142.
Organization in the SF Bay Area, open to all genders and persuasions.
Janus is a very safe organization for novices to join.  They are aware
of anonymity issues, and hold a variety of workshops and social
events, as well as publish a monthly newsletter.

Threshold, 2554 Lincoln Blvd, Suite 381, Marina Del Rey, CA 90291,
(310) 371-6504.  This LA-area group is the best-known pansexual SM
organization in Southern California, and holds a variety of events
from educational to social to political.

C-Space Educational Forum, PO Box 28021, Seattle WA 98118, (206)
292-8764 (New number.  Please note!)  Where the C stands for
Consensual.  Probably the best resource to start learning about SM in
the Puget Sound area.  Pansexual and very helpful.  I encourage you to
use this resource if you're looking for the S/M community of Seattle.

BackDrop Club,PO Box 390486, Mountain View, CA 94039-0486.  Office:
415-965-4499, BBS: 415-964-3100, FAX: 415-964-3879.  A 4,000-member
club, with their own large clubhouse, BBS, and reference library.
They say they are open to people of all sexes and sexualities who
share an interest in SM; play parties, social events, support and
discussion all take place through BackDrop.

The Black Rose, in the Washington DC area.  (301) 369-7667 (voicemail
number with address information).  A pansexual SM support group with
meetings every Tuesday night.  They hold a social event once a month,
open to those who've attended at least two weekly meetings.  There are
also subgroups (one is women-only).

Chicagoland Discussion Group, 3023 N. Clark St #806, Chicago, IL
60657-5205, 24-hour info-line 312-281-1097.  A pansexual SM/fetish
group, with events, a newsletter, parties, and outreach.  A wide
variety of interests are represented.

LUXURIA, PO BOX 53063, Ottawa, ON, K1N 1C5; (613)567-9033.  A
pan-sexual-orientation & kink group whose main focus is networking and
info exchange.  There's a magazine, phone line, and BBS echo dedicated
to it.

APEX, the Arizona Power Exchange, 5821 North 67th Avenue, Suite
103-276, Glendale, Arizona 85301.  We are a pansexual, panfetish
support and social group, for people with dominant/submissive desires,
treating the S/M, B&D and fetish experience with acceptance, respect
and dignity.  For meeting locations, please call (602) 906-0851.

The National Leather Association, 584 Castro Street #444, San Fran-
cisco, CA 94114-2500, (415) 863-2444.  A nationwide group open to
everyone into leather/SM.  The NLA has many local chapters; there's
probably one in your area!  They hold social events, support groups,
political rallies, and lots more besides.  If you want to meet other
like-minded people, the NLA's a fine place to start.

San Francisco Sex Information, (415) 621-7300.  SFSI is a volunteer
information and referral service for all aspects of human sexuality--
SM included!  If you have a question about some scene you've done or
are considering doing, and you want to talk to someone who can answer
your questions anonymously and nonjudgmentally, give us a call!  (I'm
a volunteer, and it's really great!)  In fact, if you have a question
about ANY aspect of human sexuality, we can help.  The lines are open
3 to 9 p.m.  Pacific time, Monday through Friday, and from 3 to 9 most
Sundays as well.

Atlanta S/M Solidarity, P.O. Box 8361, Atlanta, GA 31106.  A Georgia
group of SM enthusiasts, with workshops, socials, etc.

The D&S Society of Baltimore, DSSB@aol.com, P.O. Box 20248, Towson, MD
21284-0248.  Information line (410) 385-3331.  A Pansexual BDSM
support group with events and meetings the first 2 Friday's of the
month and a members only Social on the 3rd Friday of the month; also a
newsletter.


Mail-order houses:

Most of these places require you to state that you're 21 or over when
ordering.  (This list in particular could use all the expansion it can
get, since I know little about toy stores outside the SF Bay Area.
Send me your favorite local shops' addresses, and I'll put 'em in
here!)

As I mentioned above, QSM does mail-order of books and magazines.

Good Vibrations, 1210 Valencia, San Francisco, CA 94110, (800)
BUY-VIBE (289-9423), goodvibe@well.sf.ca.us (yes, they are on the
Internet!).  An excellent non-sleazy erotica store, woman-owned, with
lots of good books and magazines about sex and a nice selection of
basic sex toys.  If you want to order any of the books in this FAQ,
you could likely get them from here--and if not from here, from QSM.
Not an SM store, but a good one nonetheless.  Send them $5 for
first-class-mailed catalogs of their books and toys.

Mr. S Leathers, 310 7th St., San Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 863-7764.
Possibly the best-stocked store for SM equipment in the world.  Lots
and lots of really well-made bondage gear, including metal shackles
and leather straightjackets, and a HUGE handcuff selection, not to
mention amazing amounts of leather and rubber clothing.  They have
just completed a two-volume 160-page gorgeously-photographed catalog
of all of their wares; it's available for $15.

Leather Masters, 969 Park Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408) 293-7660.
Leather Masters is a toy store featuring custom leather, cleaning and
alterations, novelties and cards, body piercing, B&D equipment,
videos, and latex.  Mail order catalog and newsletter are available.

Northbound Leather, 19 St. Nicholas St., Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1W5.  +1
416 972-1037.  This is an up-and-coming leather store with an
excellent reputation for quality and for unusual latex and leather
good.  Two *very* nice catalogues (one clothing, one toys) at $10
each, applicable towards purchase.  Fit guaranteed for mail order if
their (very detailed) measurement instructions are followed.

Slimwear of America, P.O. Box 997, Eastsound, WA 98245, (206)376-5213
(machine), (206)376-5231 (fax).  A widely-known supplier of rubber-
wear and assorted latexery.  Clothes catalog $17.50, hood/gag listing
$6.00, both $22.00 postpaid.

Heartwood Whips of Passion, 412 N. Coast Hwy. #210, Laguna Beach, CA
92651.  Some of the best leather whips and floggers to be found,
anywhere.  Jeanne's whips are works of art, whether they're being used
or not.

Bondage, James Bondage, Inc. 7926 Woodvale Cir., Tampa, FL 33615,
(813) 443-3658.  Purveyors of assorted bondage gear, videos, and
magazines, I believe.

JT Toys, Inc., (800) 755-TOYS, jttoys@world.std.com.  JT (Joel Tucker
by name) has an excellent selection of quality SM equipment and prices
lower than any.  Plus he's a great guy to do business with.

Cecilia Tan, a long-time presence on a.s.b, now has a business:
Circlet Press Mail Order Books, P.O. Box 15143, Boston, MA 02215.  She
says they carry all manner of kinky and erotic fiction and nonfiction,
specializing in leather/fetishes/SM.  A catalog is free with a 29-cent
SASE or by email (she's ctan@world.std.com).

Constance Enterprises Ltd., PO Box 43079, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043.
Also Dressing for Pleasure, 590 Valley Road, Upper Montclair, NJ,
(201) 746-5466.  An upscale business, selling fashions and toys for
people into BDSM.

Il Bolero, 6846-6842 St-Hubert St., Montreal, Quebec, Canada H2S 2M6,
(514) 270-6065.  Don't know much about this store except that it's got
a lot of Northbound Leather's stuff.

Bon-Vue Enterprise, Inc., owned and operated by Bill and Debbie Majors
(who sometimes post to a.s.b), produces B&D videos, magazines, comics,
art portfolios, pocket books, and other products; most of their stuff
is male dom/female sub.  They also operate the Hedonism BBS at (310)
631-7697.  A catalog is $5.00 and can be obtained from: Bon-Vue
Enterprises, Inc., P.O. Box 92889, Long Beach, CA 90803.  They offer a
total satisfaction guarantee policy that is "unique in the adult
industry".  Phone: (310) 631-1600.

BR Creations in Mountain View makes custom-made corsets--P.O. Box
4201, Mountain View, CA 94040, catalog $5.  Excellent quality.

Mark I. Chester makes spandex body bags and hoods; he's at P. O. Box
|42501, SF, CA 94101, (415) 621-6294.

For a sharp touch, get some Vampire Gloves from Leonard at Lucifer's
Armory.  Contact ixion@dorsai.org, Box 808, 874 Broadway, New York, NY
10003.

ASLAN LEATHER by Carrie, 363 Sorauren Ave. Box 58, Toronto, Ontario,
Canada M6R 2G5, (416) 538-9759.  Carrie makes non-leather bondage
equipment, for vegans who eschew animal products in their toys.  (She
also makes leather stuff for the rest of us.)

I'm told that you can call (800) 305-5525 for a catalog of modern
chastity belts.

The classic magazines of "love bondage" (i.e. pretty women posing in
lingerie and bondage) are available from Harmony Concepts, Box 69976,
Los Angeles, CA 90069.

A wide variety of sexy spandex bondage gear is available from Noelle
Nielson Softwear, Box 69826, Los Angeles, CA 90069.  Write for
information.

Here's a rather hot ad I recently received: "JG Leathers is a
manufacturer of custom, specialized, leather and rubber discipline
harnesses.  Types include pony- girl or pony-boy full-body harnesses,
with separate bridle and bit, cow-girl or cow-boy milking discipline
harnesses.  All harnesses designed and manufactured to be suspension-
capable, and when used in conjunction with speciallY modified gas
masks can also be used for sensory-deprivation, breathe control, and
electrical 'aversion therapy' techniques.  Standard toys are also made
to the customer's specifications.  Catalogue costs $5.00 usd/$6.50
cad. The address is JG Leathers, 5324 10A Avenue, Delta, B.C., Canada
V4M 1Y6."

The Naughty Victorian (2315-B Forest Drive, Suite 68, Annapolis, MD
21401; Tel.: 1-800-778-7428; Fax: 410-626-1879).  Offering "the finest
body of literature, clothing, implements and accessories" for "the
practice of adult domestic discipline."  Catalog available for $5.

For those who enjoy making their own toys, I'm told that a great
source for leather hides and tools is the M. Siegel Company, Inc., 120
Pond Street (Route 126), Ashland, MA 01721.  Phone (508)881-5200, fax
(508)881-5203, orders only (800)932-8956.  They keep odd hours and
have certain minimum-order sizes, so call first.

(If you're in San Francisco, stop by Stormy Leather, 1158 Howard St.,
San Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 626-1672.  A woman-owned store with an
excellent selection of sexy leather and latex clothes, good basic
bondage gear, and a wonderful magazine and book section.  They cater
to both men and women, so they'll have toys to fit you; they also do
custom orders.  They have unfortunately stopped doing mail orders.)

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Hope you learned something!  Remember, your sexuality is wonderful;
treasure it and nourish it!  (And see parts 1 and 2 if you haven't
already!)

Contents copyright (c) 1994 by Rob Jellinghaus.  Redistribution of
this FAQ from alt.sex.bondage to any BBS or other electronic forum, or
to the newsletter or membership of any BDSM organization, requires
permission of the author (robj@unreal.com).  Copies for individual use
are OK.  (This clause is mainly so I can keep some track of where my
words are going, rather than because I like to litigate.  Thanks for
spreading the knowledge.)
-- 
Rob Jellinghaus..robj@best.com
