       
            Issue Number 9, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1          
          Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993                  
             PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! 
          For help and actual info, look elsewhere.            
 
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 ۰  "To err is human, to really fuck things up requires an idiot."   
 ۰                                                 -Baphomet           
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   Mail.                                                              
                                                                       
       None in this issue but check out issue 8 for great uplifting    
    and inspirational messages addresses to NO COURiER. It seems some  
    people just can't control themselves. Oh well.                     
                                                                       
   Recipe: Pizza llama SuRpRiSe!                                      
                                                                       
       Note that the ingrediants for this recipe can be hard to find   
    especially if one does not reside in the Ands. So to make this a  
    more 'global' recipe I have included a substition chart. llama=    
    dead or mangled[Maybe even slighty alive] old people. Now on with  
    the recipe!                                                        
                                                                       
       1 Chef boyardee Pizza mix                                       
       The stuff it says on the back of the box                        
       llama                                                           
                                                                       
       Ok to start out, saut the llama over a deep fiery pit for no   
       more than 32.4 minutes. Note that ethnic sacrifices add variety 
       and spice to your overall product. After removing the whole     
       llama from the pit. Cut it into 13 equal pieces. Then slowly    
       trim all fat from each piece taking great care to leave no      
       bones showing. When done with all 13 pieces, throw them away.   
       Pick up the phone call Domino's you cheap fuck and order a      
       pizza. When the little geeky guy comes have some one from the   
       house either dump the mix from the roof on to the spaz or stuff 
       the mix into the tail pipe of his sad-ass car.                  
                                                                       
       Emm, emm tasted good didn't it? I knew it would and the whole   
    process only takes about an hour.                                  
                                                                       
   Questions and Answers.                                             
                                                                       
       Why are the editors of PUD so hatefull towards VBBS?            
       It sucks. To steal a phrase, it sucks big donkey dick.          
                                                                       
       Is huntsvegas really that bad?                                  
       Yes. And believe it or not there are actually worse places.     
                                                                       
       Does the hungarian killer squirell actually kill?               
       No. It simply maims it's victims usually small innocent         
       children.                                                       
                                                                       
       Can you spell worth a shit?                                     
       oN.                                                             
                                                                       
   HoW tO bE a WaReZ duDE!                                            
                                                                       
       Ok so you want to be a really c00l wArEz d00d hUh? How you ask  
    does one become such a wretched reject of society that I have      
    nothing better to do than go out and get WaReZ? Well I will tell   
    you, now pay attention it is really difficult. First of all lose   
    all personality you have ever had. Pick a really lame alias, oh    
    like NO COURiER. Then get a real modem. Well it doesn't have to be 
    a good one it just needs to be 14.4k! VroooooooooOOOOMMMMM!!! Yeh, 
    whatever. Now comes the most difficult part the typing. Typing     
    like a wArEz d00d takes skill, and dedication. First of ALL        
    vowels must be in LOWERcase, o's of course become 0. And spelling? 
    well real WaReZ dUdEs don't spell by normal means, they spell      
    however the can as long as thier is a lot of extended ascii in it. 
    WaReZ. You don't need 'em. All real WaReZ dudes is get them and    
    then upload them somewhere else, Joy! I quit this section now.     
                                                                       
   Reviews.                                                           
                                                                       
       I will review a few programs for you now.                       
                                                                       
       WordPerfect.                                                    
         The worst program ever made next to vbbs. It reaks so bad     
         you will probably go crazy before you exit via, ALT-Q, F2,    
         d, D, <TAB>.                                                  
                                                                       
       EdLiN PrO!                                                      
         By fReD tHe HiTmAn, a really swell guy. This has all the      
         normal features of Edlin but also features an extended        
         command interface that will please even the most powefull     
         user! Take for example, <SPACE> in normal edlin does a        
         space but in EP it does del *.* and if under 4Dos it does     
         del *.* /y/q. Space is of course replaced by ALT-235, X.      
                                                                       
   Closing.                                                           
                                                                       
       In closing, I would like to say, you still suck.                
                                                                       
   Mail, Hate please:                                                 
                                                                       
       Baphomet the Limbo King    WWIVNET 2506@14                      
       NO COURiER                 WWIVNET 2506@36                      
                                                                       
   Oops.                                                              
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  End of PUD 1:9, "Can you spell socks?"                               
 
