_____________________________________________________________________________

         (A)                                                     (A)
        (, ,)                cDc commune-ications               (, ,)
        /   \                     presents...                   /   \
       [ x x ]                                                 [ x x ]
       ((~~~))                                                 ((~~~))
        ~   ~                                                   ~   ~
                         WAY RAD-I-C00L cDc K-FILE #1
                    (cuz I couldn't think of anything else)

                         by Hemorrhoidal Inflamation

                  >>> a COMMUNE Publication..........1989 <<<
                   -cDc COMMUNE OF THE DECEASED CATTLE -cDc-
_____________________________________________________________________________


     This file was suppozed to be a bunch of separate philes but we put 'em
all together for out first K-FILE.  So what?  If you can't handle that than
you are just too elite to be reading so give up on life and become a monk you
social conformist, anti-anarchist, neo-nazi bastard!!!

_____________________________________________________________________________

                       ___________________________________
                      /                                   \
                     /  NEW k-AWEs0me phreaking teck-neek  \
                     \          by Anal Anorexia           /
                     /             -cdc 1989-             /
                     \____________________________________\


   Dudes-  I got the latest new phreak technique. This method is so K because
it don't cost nothing and it don't show up on the fone bill so your 'rents
can bitch you to death.  Their is these things called 800 numbers that yuo
can dial to get connected thru to things like companies.  I also thionk that
you can use codez on some but that is a dumb rumor that I have yet to be
proved. Also it is rumored that you can call these things called voice
message boxces that youi can leave messages to other doodz on but i think the
guy to told me is a wannabee k-elite d00d so I doubt it is true.  Anyway,
here's how ya use 'em:

1) Dial 1 (from you fone d00de!@11)
2) Dial 8-0-0 (no dashes you gimp! Just the digits)
3) then dial some (any!) 7 digit number!

  Like this: 555-1212 (that's 1-800-555-1212) which is some neat-0 directoryt
assistance operator that you can get numbers from to clal other places!

   Well,  watch out for CDC files from me in the future in which i will deal
with more brand fucken new ways to decieve the loser telco!

                              Later!
                                   ^      ^
                                  /-\nal /-\norexia


oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo


                          The Flourescent Green Box
                              by  Joe the Shmoe


                                     (A)  .ooM
                                    (, ,)
                                    /   \
                                   [ x x ]
                                   ((~~~))
                                    ~   ~

                           :: cDc Phreak Series ::


     Upon wondering one day of what cool mod to add to my phone next I came
up with one that I don't recall ever seeing in a file.  Ever want to add a
hold button to your phone?  Well then this file is for you.  Just follow this
file and you'll be transformed into a veritable phreak and your friends will
marvel at your hacker prowess.

Parts List
~~~~~~~~~~
SPST Switch (1)
Pieces of Wire (2)
Solder
Soldering Iron


Directions
~~~~~~~~~~
     1) Unscrew the single screw under your phone
     2) Remove the cover and locate the red (ring) and green (tip) wires
        coming into the phone
     3) Solder one wire to the red (ring)
     4) Solder the other wire to the green (tip)
     5) Now solder the other ends of the wires to a terminal on the switch
        (which terminal doesn't matter)
     6) Bring the switch out the back of the phone and put the phone back
        together


Operation
~~~~~~~~~
     When you get a call that you would like to put on hold,  simply flip the
switch to the "hold" position (you need to do some experimenting first to
find out which position is the hold position) and you may now hang the phone
up without losing the connection while you go and do something else!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     Watch for more philes in the cDc phreak series written by yours truly
coming soon to an AE/CF/BBS near you!

DISCLAIMER: This file is intended for informational purposes only and is not
intended for uses beyond those proscribed by the law.  The author takes no
responsibility for any illegal acts committed using the information contained
within this file.


___________________(c) 1989 Commune of the Deceased Cattle___________________


oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_____________________________________________________________________________

                       100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL
                                  (lryics)

                         Compliments of Mr. Clitoris

_____________________________________________________________________________

     Now you too can sing along to this great party favorite!!  Thanx to
Give-a-Flying-Fuck for copying the lyrics down from the tape-recording of a
rager he went to one saturday night!  Just follow the simple formula set of X
and (X-1) to compute the next verse (use a calculator if necessary you dolt!)
I edited some of it to fit into a file and make it look nicer. Gosh!  That
was a lot of hard work!!!  Enjoy!

                                   Mr. Clitoris (')

All lyrics (c)???? by ???????

_____________________________________________________________________________

(X=100 at start)

X Bottles of beer on the wall
X Bottles of beer
Take one down pass it around
(X-1) Bottles of beer on the wall

(Now do it over until you get to X=0...No this isn't a part of the lyrics you
complete moron!)

=============================================================================
(c)1989  cDc commune-ications  by Mr. Clitoris
The c Stands For Clever No Doubt


oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_____________________________________________________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         (A)                   HOW TO SHOPLIFT                   (A)
        (, ,)               without getting caught              (, ,)
        /   \                                                   /   \
       [ x x ]               by  Plywood Fracture              [ x x ]
       ((~~~))                                                 ((~~~))
        ~   ~                    (c) 1989 cDc                   ~   ~
                        Commune of the Deceased Cattle
_____________________________________________________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     The art of Shoplifting can only be perfected through careful and
complete practice. The best place to shoplift are supermarkets, where
security is at a minimum. If you are hungry, then they are better than a
restaurant because all the food is free. Just walk down the isle with the
oreos and rip a package open and scarf. Stuff a few in your pockets for
later. The toy section always has neat things to steal. Those fake handcuffs
are great for anarchy gags (pretend you are a psyco in front of your
girlfriend and pretend you are going to handcuff her...always gets her riled
up, heheheh). Those green army men are cool too. Nice room ornaments. Well,
now it is on to bigger and better things...the liquor store!

     Well,  we all know that in a liquor store there is, as the name so
deftly implies, lots of booze, but the only thing that is really easy to lift
are single cans of beer or wine coolers, and alcohol for minors is illegal
anyway (we all know that right? heheheheheheheh). So if you are a horny,
pre-pubescent bastard (like I am, hehehehehe) then the place to head to is
the porno mag section. When the clerk is not looking, stash the best (and
most expensive) porn mag up your shirt and jet out of that liquor store like
you had nothing to live for! Then run all the way home and sneak it around
mommy (that is your problem to figure out, heheheheheheh). Now that we have
covered liquor stores, onto normal stores (like K-Mart).

     K-Marts are hard to shoplift from because of all the employees and I
think they have a good security setup. I'm not sure but I think those black
panels on walls have people behind them watching you (and probably jacking
off too since they are hidden, heheheheheh). I have never tried to shoplift
from a K-Mart because it is way risky but I bet you might be able to get away
with it if you can run real fast (and manuver around old ladies and their
shopping carts filled with Ben-Gay, heheheheheh).

     Well I guess that wraps up this cDc anarchy file. Look for more great
ones coming soon. In my next file I will write about how to jay walk without
getting caught. Well, have phun and remember, don't get caught!! (heheheheh)

                        ______________________________

                         (c) 1989 by Plywood Fracture
                                (heheheheheh)
                        ______________________________


oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo


How to get into cDc:
--------------------

1) Write the lyrics to the latest speed metal band in a k-rad file and upload
   it to a cDc system (see end of this phile).

2) Put together a pathetically sarcastic file intended to be humorous but
   dealing with a real topic (such as phreaking, hacking, or how to program
   in Applesoft bAsIc).  Be sure to include a dis-claimer!

3) Pretend you are creative and go around the modem world pretending not to
   be k-eLiTe (butt u actually R suppozed two B eleet!1) and if we see you
   around & like your loserishly smug attit00d we will accept you.

4) Beg.

                                                                 -Ed.


oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

                                  EAT BEEF!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Watch for our new files containing all the lyrics to the latest Thrash/Speed
Metal and New Music bands (in case you lost your album cover [OH NO!],  these
files come in way handy!  Actually,  they're just a way to get our
impressively k-kool deceased cattle logo around!1!@)


   Special thanks to the Neon Knights for letting us use their name in our
   files without which we wouldn't have much notoriety in the modem world.


Find some meaning for your dreary, worthless, un-elite life and call these
k-gnarly suicidal cDc systems:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tony's MAgical pArl0r of S0undZ - (504) 443-3999 - 3/12/24/96/14.4/19.2 BAUD!
Full Metal Sweep                - (305) 625-3333 - All the latezt!!! 640 Megs
B0ss Timez in T0ne T0wne        - (213) 935-1111 - K-K00L K-RAD K-ELITE K-K-K
=============================================================================
(c)1989  cDc commune-ications  by Hemorrhoidal Inflamation         9/19/89-69
All Rights Not Worth A Drop Of Sweat From A Mules Asshole

[OTHER WORLD BBS]
