Subject: You know your addicted to Magic when...

...Local stores call you when cards come in.

...there isn't a store in town that asks for your Driver's License when 
you write a check for Magic cards.

...your parents are both killed during a freak landslide of magic cards.

...the shopkeeper of your favorite store commits suicide upon hearing 
that you are quitting Magic.

...you sell your unborn first son for a Mint Time Walk.

...you have erotic fantasies involving serra angels.

...your little brother creases your mox jet, and you douse him with 
kerosene and leave him at a smoker's convention.

...you name every land in your deck and recognize them on sight.

...you begin sleeping with a night light because you're worried that your 
Lord of the Pit is getting that hungry look in his eye again.

...you get in a fistfight, and instead of throwing punches, point at the 
other guy and say 'Lightning bolt!'.

...you get sued by an unnamed company over certain references you made 
concerning their canine ancestry.  (Read about Canticle's libel suit for 
more info, and no, he didn't accuse anyone of being a son of a bitch, 
which is where he went wrong.)

...you send your idea for a Star Trek expansion set to WotC, chief among 
your ideas is a card called 'Live Long and Prosper'.

...you buy a starter pack of Jyhad, play it for 5 minutes, and then 
return to Magic, muttering about Jyhad's enormous playing time.

...you got a good laugh when Spellfire was released, but then, didn't 
everybody?

...you enlarge your Chaos Orb to poster size and attempt to play in a 
tournament with it.  ("Aw come on, Judge.  My orb is touching my 
opponent, therefore he must be discarded from play.")

...you take acid and stare at the oh-so mystic card back.

...you can make friends simply by pulling a deck of cards out of your 
backpack.

...you make long, silly lists like this to vent your frstration after you 
hear about a nice guy getting sued by a pack of wild hyenas.

...you taunt newbies by offering them your black lotus, looking through 
their stuff, and then saying "Enh.  I really don't see anything I like." 
after 45 minutes of looking.

...When you measure your pay increase in the number of extra booster
packs you can buy!

...You start to make puns with card names, "A Mox on you!"

...Friday and Monday become the same day.

...you want to hack forrest gump in plains gump.....i dont know how many times
i heard it near the theatres after going to the movie.

... You carry a set of CoP's in your pocket just in case... 

... on monday morning, you want to use "Time Walk" to be on friday evening.

... You want to cast a "Reverse Damage" on your income tax !

... you go in a music shop and ask for a compact disc of the Titania's Song.

... you meet a friend wearing a hat and you say : "Hello, Tim !"

... You give a MOX to your girl-friend as a gift for her birthday.
(Correlarry: She's addicted to Magic if you live through this...)

... you refer to your successive Prodigal Sorcerers as "Son of Tim" and 
"Tim Part III."

... you ask your chemistry teacher what the Atomic Symbol for Obsanius is.

... you're no longer embarrased to tell women about your Crystal Rod.

... you start telling loved ones that "I can quit any time!  I just play
socially!"

... you bewilder your friends at restaurants laughing insanely at the concept
of Hamburger Mana and Circles of Protection: Cooties

...You 'tap' doorknobs instead of turning them.

...Your drug habit suffers because you spend too much money on Magic cards.

...All five of your housemates become addicted to the game.

...Sex no longer keeps you interested as a Magic duel does.

...When you start counting your paycheque in booster packs instead of $$$.

...you walk through a park and try to tap the trees for mana.