Chemical Analysis
                           -----------------
Element    : Woman
Symbol     : WO
Discoverer : Adam

Quantitative Analysis : Accepted at 36 - 28 - 36, though isotopes ranging from
                        25 - 10 - 20 to 60 - 55 - 60 have been identified.

Occurance : Found wherever man is, but seldom in the highly reactive, energetic
            singlet state.  Surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties : Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at absolutely
                      nothing, and freezes at a moments notice.  Totally
                      unpredictable.  Melts when properly treated, very bitter
                      if not well used.  Found in various states, ranging from
                      virgin metal to common ore.  Non-magnetic but attracted
                      by coins and sport cars.  In its natural shape the
                      specimen varys considerably, but it is often changed
                      artificially so well that the change is indiscernable
                      except to the experienced eye.

Chemical Properties : Has a great affinity for AU, AG, and C, especially in the
                      crystaline form.  May give violent reaction if left
                      alone.  Will absorb great amounts of food matter.  Highly
                      desired reaction is initiated with various reagents such
                      as C(2)-H(5)-OH and sexy aftershave lotions.  An
                      essential catalyst is often required (must say you love
                      her at least five times daily).  Reaction accelerates out
                      of control when in the dark and all reaction conditions
                      are suitable.  Extremely difficult to react if in the
                      highly stable pure form.  Yields to pressure applied to
                      correct points.  The reaction is highly exothermic.

Storage : Best results are obtained between the ages of 18 and 25 years.

   Uses : Highly ornamental.  Used as a tonic for low spirits.  Used on lonely
          nights as a heating agent (if properly prepared).

  Tests : Pure specimens turn rosy tint if discovered in raw, natural state.
          Turns green if placed besides a better specimen.

Caution : Most powerful reducing agent known to man (income and ego).  Highly
          explosive in inexperienced hands.  Specimen must be used with great
          care if experiments are to succeed.  It is illegal to possess more
          then one permanent specimen, though a certain amount of exchange is
          permitted.