SUBJ: Unusual Virus Alert         DATE: 19 Apr 92 18:19:00
 
          ----->   M A J O R  V I R U S  A L E R T   <----- 
 
 *  George Bush Virus - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid 
 of it until 
 November 

 *  Ted Kennedy Virus - Crashes your computer but denies it ever 
 happened 

 *  Warren Commission Virus - Won't allow you to open your files 
 for 75 years 

 *  Jerry Brown Virus - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 
 800 number 

 *  David Duke Virus - Makes your screen go completely white 

 *  Congress Virus - Overdraws your disk space 

 *  Paul Tsongas Virus - Pops up on Dec. 25 and says "I'm Not Santa 
 Claus" 

 *  Pat Buchanan Virus - Shifts all output to the extreme right of 
 the screen 

 *  Dan Quayle Virus - Forces your computer to play "PGA TOUR" from 
 10am to 4pm 6 days a week 

 *  Bill Clinton Virus - This virus mutates from region to region. 
 We're not exactly sure what it does. 

 *  Richard Nixon Virus - aka the "Tricky Dick Virus" you can wipe 
 it out, but it always makes a comeback. 

 *  H. Ross Perot Virus - same as the Jerry Brown virus, only nicer 
 fonts are used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its 
 development.