HOW TO TELL IF A TRUCK IS COMPANY OWNED

It's easy company trucks are different from personal trucks, in these
ways:

§ Company trucks travel faster in all gears.
§ They accelerate much faster than personal trucks, leaving tire marks
  on the pavement.
§ They enjoy a much shorter braking distance, leaving more tire marks.
§ They can take bumps at twice the speed of private trucks.
§ Company trucks normally require oil changes at 100,000-mile
  intervals.
§ Their floors are shaped like ash trays, and accommodate milk cartons.
  Coke bottles, leftover food and wrappers.
§ They can be driven a hundred miles or more with the oil pressure
  light flashing.
§ Company trucks are not designed to be wash, waxed or retain hub caps.
§ They are adapted to allow the transmission to be shifted into reverse
  while going forward at twenty miles per hour.
§ Their tire walls are designed for bumping into and going over curbs.
  Company trucks are always used to jump start private vehicles or
  give them a push.
§ Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning
  the radio volume up.
§ Company trucks are always used to go after lunch and other personal
  needs during work hours.
§ All company trucks have many dents in their body inflected by a
  mysterious person called "Not Me."