Tens Steps to Telecomm Success From: MicroTimes, California's Computer Magazine By: Brock N. Meeks Copied by: EZY RIDER Try to teach someone the wonders of online communications and what happens? You're likely to find yourself in a sadistic, sprawling, headlong plunge down memory lane. The script is the same, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Watching a friend struggle with baud rates, parity, stop bits, and a hideous device known only by the cryptic code name RS-232 is, as Yogi Berra once said, "Like deja vu all over again." For all your future telecommunicating friends, and for all those that happened to find a modem in their Christmas stocking, here are Ten Steps To TeleCommunications Success. Do Your Homework Learn most of what you need to know before you attempt to log on. Learn the jargon. Speak the lingo. Converse with the "natives." Once you're familiar with the language, you'll feel more confident. Ask anyone that's spent a modicum of time online and they'll confirm: there is an intimidating world waiting beyond that green screen. Doing your homework also extends to knowing how your communications program works. I know, there are precious few manuals that remotely approach a readable level; but time spent learning your communications program's functions should be thought of more as an investment than recreation. (Besides, you'll get plenty of recreation once you've logged on and start reading those crazy comments left by someone named Zaphod Bettlebox from Des Moines.) Your Style Develop you own style. The beauty of the online medium is that you can be anything you want to be. You can be a flaming liberal, a staunch conservative, or just a "fun" guy out for a midnight lark. More often than not, however, your online persona is an extension of the "real" you. Research shows that people are tremendously more candid online. When developing your own style, it's easiest to just be "natural." Remember, however, that people are getting to know you solely by reading your online comments. For example, playing the devil's advocate is a worthy niche, but it can draw some ungodly fire from other users. If you can handle the hear, so be it. It is just this sort of variety that makes the online community one of the most interesting places to "be." Zen and the Art of Online Communications Get a handle on your emotional state of being. I call this "Zen and the Art of Online Communications." Yes, it sounds a bit quirky, but it works. If you go online like some kind of emotional basket case, you're likely to log on the next day and wonder what could have ever possessed you to enter yesterday's off-the-wall comments. Much to my chagrin, I find that my online moronic comments are easily traced back to some dour mood. And take it from one who knows: humble pie leaves a taste in you mouth that isn't easily forgotten. The online world is difficult enough to navigate without making the entire ethernet your personal battleground. Of course, there are going to be those times when you just can't help but bring such emotions online. In that case, at least, have the hindsight to recognize what you've done and make amends. Apologize, grovel, whatever, but get the situation resolved. Developing that attitude may be the single most important key to your online longevity. Weakness Weaknesses. Know yours. Accept things about yourself that you don't do well and transfer those insights to your online "life." Maybe you don't handle confrontations well. Online it's easy to confront someone because you don't have to involve yourself in a face-to-face discussion. But if you're not adept at such conversations offline, don't suddenly decide you can handle such dialogues online. It'd be easy to fire those first salvo across the ethernet, but people fire back. I've seen too many people fade from the bitstream because they couldn't handle a fierce online discussion. Join in the types of discussions where you feel most comfortable. These may be technical, or in some kind of roundtable where you can share your expertise. Get involved in the types of discussions you enjoy or you're guaranteeing your failure. And who needs another statistic? Strengths The flip side of the above. Know what you're good at, what you enjoy the most, whatever it is you have to offer someone else. Get a handle on your strengths and you'll flourish online. When I first went online some seven years ago I was hammered on by other online participants because I was always looking at each side of a discussion. I was labeled "wishy-washy". Some wag suggested I use the handle "Charlie Brown." I copped to the "failing" claiming my journalistic background: "Journalists aren't paid for their opinions," I fired back, secretly harboring my own worries. "are they right?" I agonized. Here I am, several years later, and I've come to see that this aspect of my online style is a strength. It makes me a better participant. I often use this strength to revive an important discussion that I fear is ebbing into apathy. Your Mentor Find an online mentor. This is a person that you can go to when you have a question or a problem. Maybe it will be that first person to take pity on your poor, fumbling, online soul, or the person that quietly took you aside in e-mail and explained some of the finer points of this medium. Send that person Christmas presents, cards on their birthday, whatever. Don't let them go. They will, undoubtedly, be your pathway to improving your online skills. Shut Up Learn to keep you mouth, or your cursor, as the case may be, shut. Press any key to continue... Nothing has torpedoed a new modem owner faster than a loosed tongue, or a tongue that doesn't know when to keep quiet and "listen." If you are prone to entering comments rivaling the word count of War and Peace you'll find your words summarily passed over and rarely replied to. And if you become known as someone who can't be trusted with privileged information, you're over before you get into the game. The issue of online privacy is tenuous enough as it is; violate that privacy - in any way - and you'll be a long time regaining any respect. Allocate Your Time Using the modem as a procrastination tool eventually catches up with you. If you find yourself logging on when you really should be studying, getting that report done for you boss, or doing your taxes, it's time to reconsider. Ah, you're nodding your head. You know what I'm talking about. The "online addict." We all joke about it and say, "It'll never happen to me." But it can, and will, if you're not careful. Stories abound of people staying up till the wee hours of the morning, charging through one system after another, only to find themselves dragging into work the next morning with an "online hangover." More dangerous, are those who find they cannot function without their "online fix" each day. Newcomers reading this will not believe me. Ask around. The veterans will tell you. It's scary. Some people live their life online, and the "real world" becomes an ancillary reality. Last, but Not Least Humor. Don't take yourself, or what's being said online so seriously that you cannot find a spot for humor. We're not talking Superpower Summit Conference level discussions here. Through all the frustrations and setbacks you'll ultimately experience online, smile. Sound like tripe? Maybe. But I've found that those with an attitude of humor are the most lively and "well- rounded" online personalities.You don't' have to be Bill Cosby or Stephen Wright to keep humor in your online traveling bag. Just take things at face value and learn to see the humor in each and every thing that happens. For better or worse, the ability to laugh at yourself, and the circumstances surrounding your telecommunications, will ensure your success.