Q: What do you call a guy who misses ten car payments?
A: A pedestrian.
--
Q: How can you tell if you're overweight?
A: If you step on you're dog's tail and it dies!
--
Q: Do you know what you get if you take all the oil Exxon produced in 1989
   and lay it out in a strip a mile wide?
A: The current world situation.
--
Q: What's the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A: The hematologist pricks your finger.
--
Q: What's The Difference Between a Woman With P.M.S.  and A Rabid Dog ?
A: Lipstick...
--
Q: Did you all here the one about a guy whose wife left him for a tractor
   salesman?
A: She gave him a John Deere letter!
--
Q: What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?
A: Stays up all night wondering whether there is a dog.
--
Q: What has 72 legs and 26 teeth?
A: The first row at a Willy Nelson concert!
--
Q: What do you call a liberal who's been mugged?
A: A conservative!
--
Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?
A: When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.
--
Q: What do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three-piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise!
--
Q: What does the U.S.  Postal Service and Kinney's Shoes have in common?
A: They both have 50,000 black loafers!
--
Q: What's the description of frenzy?
A: Blind lesbians in a fish market.
--
Q: How do you get from California to Texas?
A: Your travel East until you smell it then travel South until you step in
   it!
--
Q: How do 3 Mexicans cross the Rio Grand?
A: One swims and the other 2 cross on the scum.

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