Date: Sat, 30 Jul 1994 18:25:49 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Diana Michelle D'Emeraude" <dianad@tenet.edu>
Subject: Legends of Uselyssia

Here is a little something a friend of mine with no Net access wrote.  
Almost all the cards in this set are inherently useless (hence the 
name).  
Sorry he didn't use standard mana symbols, he used ones that (more or 
less) looked like the actual symbols (* for white, for example).  
Also, he came up with these before Legends were released, which is why 
there is a Whirling Dervish despite the actual card of the same name.  
Enjoy!

======================================================
Legends of Uselyssia

In that brief interval between the Age of Antiquity         Black: ?
and the Age of Wonders, modern Dominia, the great           White: *
Puce Wizard Phalbocyte botched the casting of his            Blue: &
Gate to Phyrexia and opened a doorway to a strange new      Green: $
realm.  While the mystic brothers Urza and Mishra             Red: @
continued to ignore Phalbocyte's grant requests,  the
greatest mage of Puce wizardry learned to exploit the 
extraordinary magic of the strange sorceries of his
new realm, Uselyssia.


(Symbol for Legends of Uselyssia cards:  A single Peso)

Special Rules for Uselyssian cards:

  Bands With Nobody 
  Creature may not participate in any banding attack,
possibly due to its egocentric and stand-offish nature.

  Cringe X
  Creature with Cringe ability gains -X/-X for each creature
used to block.

  Enchant Multiverse
  Special, powerful enchantment.  This power encompasses all
Time and all Space, and said enchantment was incorporated into
the game LONG before it was produced.  You can't really notice
these long-lasting effects as they are already part of the rules.
Seeing as the Enchant Multiverse effects were already written 
into the rules, we couldn't really see the point in wasting our 
money printing them...

Red: The fires of Uselyssia
 
 
 Confetti Storm     <X@>
(Interrupt)
 Tear Confetti Storm into a number
 of pieces equal to the casting cost
 and throw them at Opponent.  Creatures
 may not be used to block Confetti Storm.
  
 Masochist          (@)
  (Summon Masochist)
Geyserwalk
(Oooh! Aaack! Ouch!)
                    1/1
                   
 Whirling Dervish        <1@>
 (Summon Dervish)                             
  Tap to Turn Sideways
(The fighters of the mountains of Uselyssia
were a terrifying sight, mighty warriors
who whirled themselves into a state of 
deep nausea.)                         
                         1/1
                         
 Urfden Troll           (2@@)
(Summon Troll)                         
 All damage inflicted on Urfden Troll during 
 previous round is healed during Upkeep
 (The great and terrible Urfden Trolls
were every fighter's bane, as they 
regenerated all damage moments after
it was inflicted. Such a good thing
they ran from every combat...)
                         3/3


Green: From the Gardens of Uselyssia


 Antigone Brownies        (1$)
(Summon Brownies)  
  Controller may draw a card from
Library if Antigone Brownies go to
Graveyard and are not regenerated.
(The magic of the Antigone Brownies
was always a delightful source of
wonders.  Many of this fey race
were slaughtered for their magical
secrets.)
                            0/1
                            
 Fungasprite            ($$)
 (Summon Sprite)
  Each time Fungasprite is damaged
(but not killed) it gains a +1/+1 
counter.
                         0/1                
  
 Giphretnia's Song       <$$>
(Enchantment) 
 While in play, Giphretnia's Song
 grants all Walls the ability to
 block attacks as per normal creatures. 
 
 Herbal Gardens          <$$>
  (Enchant Forest)    
  Target land produces only green mana.
(Few mages were willing to invest the time
required to maintain a really nice herbal garden.
The price of a good pesto was beyond reckoning.)  

 Lemming Horde           <$>
 (Summon Lemmings)
 Cliffwalk
                         2/1

White: Blessings from the Skies of Uselyssia

 Religious Activists     <**>                         
(Summon Activists)  
  <**>:  Convert target creature to the One True Faith
(Rare was the hero who had not encountered the 
faithful of Blort. Rarer still were those heroes
who had converted to Blort's worship.)                         
                         0/1
                         
 Cowards of Korlis       <*>
(Summon Wimps)
  Cringe 2
                         3/3
                         
                         
 
 Guilt                   <*>
(Enchant Creature) 
 Place this card under the
 enchanted creature.
 
 Circle of Protection:   <**>
 Pointless                         
(Enchantment)
1:  All damage suffered from a Legends of
Uselyssia source is negated.

Consciencous Objector      <***>
(Summon Objector)
May not be used to attack or defend.
                            10/10
                            
Black:  Dark and Icky Forces of Uselyssia

 Tawnos's Corpse            (??)
Gains +1/+1 counter when sent to Graveyard.
                             1/1
                                                         
 Plague Gnats             <?>
Summon Gnats
Gnats' power and toughness are equal
to the total number of other Gnats 
in play.  A Gnat is never counted in
determining its own power and toughness.
 (A gnat alone is rather a nuisance/
 Two or more do buzz/but a lifetime
 as short as that of a Gnat/leaves
 nary a moment windbourne)
                        X/X
                        

 Sorcerous Fallout       <3??>
  (Enchantment)
  During upkeep all players must put a counter
on each creature controlled.  All creatures
who accumulate 30 counters are removed to
Graveyard.
(Though most met a gory death months
beforehand, a scattered few creatures fell 
victim to the strange poisonous dust of the
Finklestein-Finklestein Parking-lot Battles.)

 Wererat Lord           <2??>
  (Summon Wererat Lord)
 Grants all wererats in play a +1/+1 bonus and
 First Strike.
 ("Hello? HELLO? Is anyone out there? Come on,
you guys, I mean it!  I'm supposed to be
your lord--where ARE you?")
                                
                                2/2

Blue:  The Damp Fury of Uselyssia

 Lord of the Universe        <4&&>
 (Summon Greater Lord of Creation)
 Bands With Nobody
 (The Lords of the Universe were
an extreamly powerful race, who
eventually died of non-co-operation...)
                            2/1
                            
 Coward's Call to Battle    <&&>
(Sorcery)
 All defending creatures gain Banding
ability until end of turn
(The Scrybs are coming! Run!)

 Font of Power           <X&>
(Interrupt)
  Caster gains <X> colorless mana
(Drawing its power from many miles
below Uselyssia, the Font at Fritger
took the lives of ten slaves for each
iota of energy produced.)  

 Magic Siphon            <1&>
(Sorcery)
Negates a spell as it is being cast.

 Power Land             <2&>
(Enchant Land)
 Reduces the upkeep cost of
 a given land by <2>.
 
 Slight of Mood          <&>
(Sorcery)    
Caster may change or rewrite the italicized 
text on any card in play.
(What Phalbocyte lacked in effect, he more
than made up for in style...)

 Xantor's Cosmonauts     <&&&>
(Summon Cosmonauts)  
  Tap and pay <1> to give Cosmonauts the power
  of Flight until end of turn.                         
(The wizard Xantor trained only a select few of
his flying warriors.  The rest got nosebleeds
and went home.)                        
                          3/3
                          
Artifacts:  Treasures from Uselyssia's Vaults

 Cursed Thumbscrews        (2)
 (Artifact)    
 Opponent suffers <4> damage if 
he attempts to destroy Thumbscrews.
(The wizard Ashnod spent much of his
leisure time in Uselyssia. These little
devices littered his vacation spots.)    
    
 Nohtypytnom's Decoy       <5>
 (Artifact Creature)
 Nothypytnom's Decoy may be tapped to 
 gain a +1/+1 bonus until end of turn.
(No sorcerer recognized the true potential of 
the Decoy. Fewer still used it in combat, as
the controller of the Decoy spent much of 
his time repairing the fabulous device.)
                          0/0
 
 Yakerporknian Guard         (10)
(Artifact Creature)
 During upkeep, controller must select
one creature to destroy, beginning with
the creatures with the highest power.
 (These mighty soldiers were the terror
of the battlefield, inspiring horror
right up to the point where they 
collapsed under their own weight.)
                               1375/1375

Lands: The Groves of Uselyssia

 Phalbocyte's Minefields
 (Land)                         
Tap and sacrifice a creature
to produce one colorless mana.
(Many a sorcerer's armies left
the Realms with a dull "Boom"...)


Phalbocyte's Geysers
(Land)
Tap to produce <1> colorless mana
OR to destroy Geysers

 Cliffs of Uselyssia
(Land)
Tap to destroy Cliffwalking creature

Glabraden Castle
(Uselyssian Land)
Tap to remove Oceanwalk ability from
any creature.  Only one Glabraden Castle
may be in play at any time; others must
be discarded.
