Microsoft's new on-line active help facility called "Bob" is rumored to
permit you to select a "personality" with which you can interact more easily.
Here are a few personalities that I think we're likely to see:

The "grandmother" personality: cares a lot about you, and will leave you     
everything after it dies.

The "jewish mother" personality: continuously admonishes you to eat more     
disk space, and lays a guilt trip on you if you interconnect with goyim      
(non-Windows) computers.

The "drill instructor" personality: demands 20 push-ups every time you click
the wrong icon.

The "shy and retiring" personality: will only help you if you don't get      
upset (since this is Windows, after all, very few people will ever see this  
one).

The "domineering" personality: knows what you need to do, and will do it for 
you.  Don't touch the mouse, you'll just get in the way.

The "Bill Gates" personality: like the "domineering" personality, but knows
that, whatever the need, Microsoft has the answer.  Requires a modem and a
credit card number (with a HIGH limit) for ordering purposes.

The "BHA" personality: before it will help you, it demands adulation (but
heaven help you if you mention its name), but gives you help with billions
and billions of things.

The "rotten little smart kid" personality: does everything for you way too
fast for you to see, and then makes comments about your ancestry when you
don't do it perfectly yourself.

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) Copyright 1995, Mark Hartman.  All rights reserved.  Permission to
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