From: scoons@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu (S. Coons)
Subject: TOP TEN REASONS MAGIC IS BETTER THAN SEX
Date: 8 Jul 1994 11:46:42 -0500

TOP TEN REASONS WHY MAGIC IS BETTER THAN SEX



10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.

9.  A game of Magic can last for hours.

8.  You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.

7.  Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.

6.  Good sex can cost you $100, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $50.

5.  You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.

4.  A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.

3.  Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.

2.  You can always find someone to play Magic with you.



And the number one reason why Magic the Gathering is better than sex....
 
1.  An eight second game of Magic is good!
-- 
 
 
In life there is no such thing as failure.  There is only more data.
scoons@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu	                   mysticbob@aol.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: J Greely, jgreely@synopsys.com
Date: 8 Jul 94 18:20:54
In article <2vjvti$16bd@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu> scoons@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu
 (S. Coons) writes:
[reasons deleted, except for...]

>1.  An eight second game of Magic is good!

Ah, but will your partner want to play with you again?


I won't bother numbering these:
	- Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and
	  start playing.
	- you can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one
	  will mind.
	- brutally beating your partner is okay.
	- Protection really works.
	- Magic comes with a rulebook.
	- parents don't go crazy when they catch their children
	  playing Magic with the neighbor's kid.
	- you don't feel insecure if you have a little deck.
	- you can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
	- any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and
	  everyone gets a turn.
	- if your deck just isn't working, you can blame it on
	  the shuffle.
	- Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
	- when you pay for Magic, you're guaranteed of a good time.
	- you can always get your partner to play Magic with you
	  in public.
	- you can shuffle your deck as much as you want.
	- your partner can shuffle your deck, too.
	- when you buy Magic, you know it's fresh from the factory.
	- when you get tired of a deck, you can make a better one.
	- your neighbors won't mind if you watch them play Magic.
	- it's okay to play Magic with your sister.
	- you don't *need* a battery-powered shuffler, but it's easier
	  than using your hands.
	- you don't have to tell your current partner about everyone
	  you've ever played with.

and, finally (not for lack of ideas, just because I want to go home now),
	- if you quit playing Magic and sell all of your cards, you
	  can probably afford sex.
	  
	  A few more (inspired by my trip to Origins):
	- after playing Magic for fourteen hours straight, you'll
	  still be able to play the next morning.
	- you can't get arrested for making a profit on Magic.
	- getting a Stream of Life out means the game will last
	  *longer*.
	- landwalk can get you right past the most formidable
	  defenses.
	- (do I really need to say anything about poking?)
	- having precious jewels can get your deck out faster
	  (oops! that one works for sex, too).
	- when your opponent cuts your deck, you don't have to get it
	  sewn back together.


--
J Greely (jgreely@synopsys.com)