Which type are you?


THE NINE TYPES OF GIRLFRIENDS

Ms. Nice Guy- Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you 
  shouldn't have.
Also known as: What a Gal, Precious, One of the Boys, My Main 
  Squeeze, Doormat.
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly.
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.

Old Yeller- You G-D spineless good-fer-nothing drag-ass no-talent 
  son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable?  
Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog 
  from Hell.
Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches; throws frying pans.

Sickly- Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite.  
Also known as: Whiner, Glumpy.
Advantages: Predictable.
Disadvantages: Contagious.

The Bosser- Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a 
  haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that 
  look.  
Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and 
  Chain, Yes Mom.
Advantages: Often right.
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied-  I just can't decide. Should i switch 
  my career, goals, home, and hair color?  
Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey.
Advantages: Easily soothed.
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

Wild Woman out Of Control-  I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an 
  make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun.  
Also known as: Fast girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, 
  Passed out. 
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Disadvantages: Unreliable, drives off cliffs.

Huffy- I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep 
  snickering at.
Also known as: No fun, Humorless Pig, Cold Fish, Chilly 
  Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly.
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
Disadvantages: You will have no friends.

Woman From Mars- I believe this interpretive dance will explain 
  how I feel about our relationship. 
Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad 
  News, Artistic.
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable.
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.

Ms. Dreamgirl- I am utterly content with you just the way you 
  are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make 
  love like crazed animals now.  
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited.
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.