FART CHART
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VAIN PERSON        : One who loves the smell of his own fart.
AMBITIOUS          : Always ready for a fart.
LAZY               : Just fizzles.
AMIABLE            : Likes to smell others' farts.
PROUD              : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant.
SHY                : Blushes when he farts silently.
CARELESS           : Farts in church.
SMART ALEC         : Farts when ladies are present.
CLEVER             : Farts and coughs at the same time.
SCIENTIFIC         : Bottles his farts.
STINGY             : Belches to save his arse-hole.
TIMID              : Jumps when he farts.
CONCEITED          : Thinks he can fart the loudest.
UNFORTUNATE        : Tries to fart but shits himself.
FOOLISH            : Suppresses a fart for hours.
BEWILDERED         : Can't tell his own fart from others.
NERVOUS            : Stops in the middle of a fart.
MISERABLE          : Can't fart at all.
CONFUSED           : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way
                     to go.
GROUCH             : Grumbles when ladies fart.
SNEAKY             : Farts and blames it on the dog.
DISSAPOINTED       : Fart doesn't smell.
CHILDISH           : Farts and then giggles.
FRESH GUY          : Jumps in front of you and then farts.
BIG BULLY          : Farts louder than others.
DUMB               : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own.
CUTE               : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were
                     eating.
WISE GUY           : Farts and asks who shit.
DAMNED MEAN        : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head.
MUSICAL            : Tenor or Base, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and
                     smells like hell.
ATHLETIC           : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels
                     3 times.
SLOB               : Farts and stains his underwear.
IMPUDENT           : Farts out aloud and then laughs.
ENVIRONMENTALIST   : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution.
HONEST             : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason.
DISHONEST          : Farts and then blames the dog.
THRIFTY            : One who always has farts in reserve.
ANTI-SOCIAL        : Excuses himself and farts in private.
STRATEGIC          : Conceals his fart by loud laughter.
INTELLECTUAL       : Can determine the smell of his neighbours' fart.
WHIMPY             : Farts at the slightest exertion.
SADIST             : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers.
SENSITIVE          : Farts and then starts crying.
AQUATIC            : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes.
MASOCHIST          : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles.