A Diplomat is a person who:

        -always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.
        -can always make himself misunderstood.
        -can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a
         floor-length sable.
        -can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold
         issue.
        -can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest.
        -can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests.
        -can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat.
        -can make nothing sound like something.
        -can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to
         stand on.
        -can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes.
        -can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
        -can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole
   in his head.
        -can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look
   forward to the trip.
        -comes right out and says what he thinks when he agrees with
         you.
        -divides his time between running for office and running for
         cover.
        -has a straightforward way of dodging issues.
        -lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants.
        -puts his cards on the table, but still has some up each
   sleeve.
        -straddles an issue whenever he isn't dodging one.
        -will approach every question with an open mouth.
        -will lay down your life for his country.
        -will refuse to answer any question on the ground it might
         eliminate him.