Clinton Jokes(txt)AWWPMSWK&F   +T>HH@R(HH@H @ @'xxxxL@9 *******************B I L L C L I N T O N J O K E S************************* / and Chelsea Jokes Too...  Compiled By: R.Mulligan  The Coolest Damn Dog  81)When will there finally be a woman in the White House? 3---------------The first night Hillary leaves town.  I2)People are upset because there won't be a dog in the White House after EMillie leaves. They are wrong!!!! They're forgetting about Chelsea!   <3)What do Chelsea Clinton and Pee Wee Herman have in common?A----------------The only action eithor one can get is from their  hands!OH!   ;4)What is the best thing ever to have come out of Arkansas? -----------------Highway 55   H5)What does Bill Clinton do when an abortion bill comes across his desk? ------------------Pay it!  F6)What will be Bill Clinton's hardesr desition when he moves into the  White house? )------------------Where to keep his Gong.   57)What will be Bill Clinton's first act as President? 8------------------He wants Flowers on his desk everyday!   <8)What's the difference between Chelsea Clinton and poultry? 2-------------------Most poultry is dressed better.   C9)What's the only thing less exciting than hearing Dan Quale speak? ;--------------------Watching Chelsea Clinton get undressed!  C10)Bush and Perot are relaxing before the debate and Perot says to JBush,"George I'm trying to relax for this debate, so I thought I would go Mget a beer. Would you like a beer George?" Bush says, "Sure I would like a KBeer." So Perot goes and gets the beer. When he gets back he gives George HBush the beer and they get back to relaxing. Bill Clinton walks in and NPerot says ," Bill I just got my friend George a beer , would you like a beer Ntoo?" Bill says," Sure I'd like a beer." Perot went to get Clinton's beer. FWhile Perot was out Bill Clinton turned to George Bush and said, "I'm Greally getting tired of that guy, so lets do what we do in Arkansas to Npeople we don't like." Bush said ," Well what do you do?" "We spit in their Kshoes." Clinton said. So they both spit in a shoe. WHen Perot came back Mhe gave Bill Clinton his beer and started to talk. He said, "You know I' in Ithis election because of the American people, and they have been telling Nme that they are sick of this dirty election. So I have a solution. We need Lto stop calling each other names, spitting in each others shoes, pissing in each other's beer...   +11)What will Bill Clinton do about Defence? <----------------Paint it white, the same as the White House!   /12)What's the highlight of an Arkansas wedding? -----------------When the brides water breaks!  H13)What did Bill Clinton do when Genninfer Flowers told him picking his nose was disgusting? "----------------Picked it himself!  F14)Why were Secret Service agents seen buying condoms in the bathroom of a hooker bar? 7----------------Its their job to protect the president!   >15)What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? "----------------A dead girlfriend.  B16)Did you know that the democrats are planning on changing their *national symbol from a donkey to a condom?   217)Why do Arkasas women were turtle neck sweaters? +----------------To hide their flea collars.   818)What is Bill Clinton's response to the Abortion Bill? +----------------I thought that I paid that!  K19)If you came upon Bill Clinton drowning in a river, and you had a choice Hbetween rescuing him, or getting a Pulitzer Prize winning photo of Bill >Clinton drowning in a river, What shutter speed would you use?   420)What was Bill Clinton's closest brush with death? 0--------------The night Hillary came home early.  H21)Did you hear about the new law firm that Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton $and Ted Kenedy are going to open up? ;--------------It's called trick 'em, dick 'em and dunk 'em.   J22)Did you know that there are already 6 abortion bills on Clinton's desk?  ---------------He paid them all.  K23)Bill and Hillary Clinton are driving throught the hills campaigning and PBill stops at a little gas station to fill up the tank. Hillary goes in to pay Ifor the gas. Bill waits about 20 minutes. Fnally Hillary comes out and Lthey drove off. Bill says, " What were you doing in there? I thought that Oyou'd never come out!" Hillary says, "You wouldn't believe this Bill, but the Mowner of that little gas station is an old boyfriend of mine! I hadn't seen Khim in years, and we had avery nice visit." Bill smiles smugly to himself Mand says, "You know , Hillary, it's funny how fate works. Just think if you Hhad married him, your husband would own a little gas station instead of Fbeing a presidential candidate!" Hillary replied, "You've got it all Kbackwards, Bill. If I'd married him, HE'D be a presidential candidate and  YOU'D own a little gas station!"  F24)President Clinton walked out of the White House, and saw a message Kwritten in 'yellow snow'. It said "President Clinton is an Ass." Clinton Kwas furious. He called in the FBI. The FBI told him they would run their Gmost sophisticated urine analysis. They came back with the results in Cafew hours. "we have some bad news, and some worse news." Clinton Hasked for the Bad news first. "Well, the analysis showed that it was Al Kgores Urine." "Oh My God! What is the even worse news?" said Clinton. "